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Former Laura Bush press secretary and Virginia Slims-fetcher Andrew Malcolm really likes that Sarah Palin lady and is willing to say just about anything to get her to pay attention to him and his vestigial old-man penis:
Check out Malcolm’s lede:
“A recent Washington Post/ABC News Poll found that 30 months out from the 2012 party presidential nominations, only 71% of Americans believe that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be president.
This compares with someone named Barack Obama. At the same point in his then unannounced campaign, 0% thought he was qualified for the Oval Office. That’s because he wasn’t even on the polling lists’ radar then.”
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that “only 71%” was meant to be taken as sarcasm. But arguing that it’s a good thing that after near-constant exposure to Sarah Palin for a year and a half, nearly three-quarters of Americans have concluded that she is not qualified to be president? That’s Baghdad Bob-level spin — just as audacious, and just as absurd.
So, using Malcolm Math, Sarah Palin is like 29 times more better than Barack Obama because Barack Obama was still chasing rabbits in Kenya at this time some time ago or something.
It may very well be that Malcolm believes such things or more likely he feels he is indebted to Sarah Palin for saving him from the death panels
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It’s clear that 71% of old men with vestigial penises favor a Palin candidacy, it goes to 100% if Palin campaigns in a bustier, garter belt and fishnets.
Andrew Malcolm is only 100% full of shit, but he will up that to 110% once he finds a doctor willing to do elective colostomy surgery, and gets a jumbo bag installed.
I don’t want Dick Van Patten to kill me, either. Oh, crap. Does this mean I have to scrawl a dumb-ass sign and go stand and shout in some public square now?
Oh, dear.
Malcolm, she’s still not going to fuck you.
The Palins should get together as a family and change their name to Van Palin. Track Van Palin has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? And maybe Bristol Van Palin can hook up with Wolfgang Van Halen and her second kid can be Spunky Van Palin-Van Halen.
Hey old man — those aren’t starbursts. They’re cataracts.
Only 71% of Malcom’s maturbatory fantasies involve Sarah gently guiding his limp, useless man-rocket into that turkey slaughtering machine and thus destroying the curse of his frustrating existence forever.
Queeny ass old bitch just wants to be her Bestie for Shoe Shopping and her Top Fashion Adviser.
Actually, I remember clearly the barn-burner of a speech he gave at the DNC in 2004. That would be a full 4 years before he ran.
That would be 48 months.
Some of us pay attention to this kind of stuff.
I remember seeing him on Letterman right after he was elected senator for Illinois. I thought to myself, “He’s running for president in 2008, no matter what he says.” He just had ‘it’, and I knew in my bones he would run. So, yeah, some of us have been paying attention.
Oh, and now we have Malcom’s math as well as Malkin’s math (that was her, right?}? Are we going to need separate calculators for each wingnut ‘pundit’?
Any calculator will do as long as it shows that 1+1=3.
Obama’s Age — Tue Jan 31, 2006 at 05:06:26 PM PST
Cooley at dKos thought he was qualified 33 months before the election.
I loathe Malcom – more than even the other raft of idiots the Times has chosen to exhibit. I long for the old days, when Jack Smith would have beaten him senseless…. He is a dreadful, idiotic creature who should not be being paid by the LA Times.
Also, I need another filmy of Fenway and Wembley.
Why you picking on Dick Van Patten so?
No, seriously, what’s the source of this?
What?
Shut UP! I don’t get out much.
Doesn’t Dick Van Patten have a line of pet food?
http://www.naturalbalanceinc.com/
OH.
MY.
GOD.
Natural Balance is people!
SarahPalinUSA has reached the level of unpopularity that Bush did in the final days of his inept presidency. Surely this rates an A for effort!
Also! Also! Also! (the new USA! chant)
Well, not exactly. If Obamablackfellerterroristmuslim was polling at 0% then 29% X 0% = 0%
So they are like equals or something….
Does she dare to dream of reaching Cheney level? A++
“So, using Malcolm Math, Sarah Palin is like 29 times more better than Barack Obama…”
I tried checking his math and kept crashing my computer with a divide-by-zero error.
Be warned — it could be a wingnut plot to sabotage the left blogosphere.