I know this column is very respectful of its subjects but Boss Douchehat’s hair needs revising.

a real boner-shrinker,

Is his boner ever anything but shrunk?

Advice for Ross “DONT” Douthat: sex – ur doin it rong

Hmmm…

“The Internet is very good at generating gossip, but lousy at the dogged work of transforming rumor into news.”

Well, that’s horse shit.

“Some private acts should be publicly disqualifying, and the media need to be willing to go digging for them.”

So – Abinormal Tucker Douthat and her narwhal tusk are next up, News Boy?

Signed,

Chunky Reese Witherspoon

He also writes about “Arizona Senator John Ensign’s alleged payoffs” in the article, which is particularly amazing because there’s also a Senator John Ensign from Nevada!

Same name! Those Republicans, I tell ya, scandals left and right.

Kind of a tricky thing fact-checking him I would think, if his editors picked at little things like that they’d soon find that pretty much everything he wrote was nonsense, like picking at a thread and having the whole sweater unravel.

“…we might never have learned how close the Democratic Party came to nominating a truly disgraceful character for the presidency.”

More bullshit. Edwards never stood a chance, Both Clinton and Obama were blowing him out of the water. By the time the Enquirer story broke, Edwards was done, anyway.

But as the VicePrincipal points out, why let little things like facts get in the way when it would spoil the opportunity to pass moral judgement on those despicable Democrats?

As long as Ross wants the media to do some investigative journalism, how ‘bout they dig into something more important than a politicians personal failings, such as how Bush dummied up the war in Iraq. How the war kept off the books. How Dick Cheney is mentally unstable. How mediocre Sarah Palin is, the list can go on.

I’m sure that Douthat has some “private acts” that completely disqualify him from ANY “public role”. Like, being a NYT columnist, for example.

My bet is that they involve unprotected sex with goats.

So I guess that Ross finds nothing wrong with the Republicans’ warm support for choosing a complete idiot to be a heartbeat away from the presidency. IIRC, there weren’t very many journos at all who would directly state that Palin’s presence on the ticket was the result of cynically stuntcasting an unqualified, telegenic grifter for VP, it was the bloggers and SNL.

Aternate shorter Ross:

Sex disgusts me. I think there should be more political writing about the sexual habits of politcians. Cuz sex makes me sick.

Looks like Angry Ewok stuck Ensign and Mark Sanford in the para near the bottom, and one searches in vain for mention of Larry Craig. Real subtle there, chief.

Now you’re just being shrill!

Thanks, y’all for discussing what Douthat actually wrote because I was afraid I was going to have to click on the link and then poke my eyes out with a rusty pitchfork.

Oh, gawd… The mere idea of Ross Douthat The Pasty Little Putz riding off at the head of a brand spanking new panty sniffing brigade is enough to make me lose last week’s lunch. [Heh. I said panty... It's not like he's ever seen a pair...]

I stop by for the snark, but stay for the bassets.