America gets cock-blocked by future President Thune’s wingman

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America gets cock-blocked by future President Thune’s wingman
By: TBogg Wednesday March 10, 2010 6:49 pm	Tweet

Now that we know that all congressmen and senators spend all of their spare time in showers and saunas engaging in cockfights (and not the chicken kind), congressional aides are putting in tons of overtime in CYA&penis mode making sure their bosses don’t get linked to a creepy legislative mansex Fight Club.

Senator John Thune, who is the not-Mormon Mitt Romney, was accosted by some gotcha-question-asking reporter who is utterly fascinated by male genitalia (so we’re guessing it was Howard Kurtz) and it went down like this:

Asked whether he has had shower encounters like the one Massa alleged, Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) was interrupted by an aide — “Senator, we definitely have a speaking engagement” — and whisked away before he could respond.

So I’m gonna put Thune down for three glory hole encounters, a half dozen reach-arounds, and as Chip Pickering’s tag team partner at the C Street Gladiators & Taco Tuesday Night get together.

21 Comments

21 Responses to “America gets cock-blocked by future President Thune’s wingman”

JDM3 March 10th, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Hm. Scarborough’s not just an unindicted murderer. He’s an unidicted murderer who likes to look at dicks in the shower. I bet he’d like prison.

preznit March 10th, 2010 at 7:31 pm

heh-heh, he said “tag team” /beavis

captphealy March 10th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

I guess Massa picked the wrong week to quit ~~sniffing glue~~…

RoodsterCrows March 10th, 2010 at 7:42 pm

I read the post. Then I took a second look at the screenshot. Now I can’t stop laughing. Someone. Please. Help.

Lunchtime March 10th, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Sorry, the Senator can only answer that question in a deep-background anonymous debriefing environment.

edub March 10th, 2010 at 8:12 pm

So I’m gonna put Thune down for three glory hole encounters, a half dozen reach-arounds, and as Chip Pickering’s tag team partner at the C Street Gladiators & Taco Tuesday Night get together.

It would be irresponsible not to.

Let’s look at some of Thune’s contributors over the last few years, especially from Mission, South Dakota:

ESTHER ASSMAN (RETIRED/RETIRED), (Zip code: 57555) $300 to FRIENDS OF JOHN THUNE on 05/23/07

MIKE ASSMAN (SELF/RANCHER/FARMER), (Zip code: 57555) $1000 to FRIENDS OF JOHN THUNE on 08/02/07

2005 / 2006 Contributions:

Mike Assman (Self/Farmer), (Zip code: 57555) $200 to SOUTH DAKOTA REPUBLICAN PARTY on 06/27/05

Mike Assman (Self/Farmer), (Zip code: 57555) $250 to SOUTH DAKOTA REPUBLICAN PARTY on 07/07/06

Joe Assman (Assman Implement/Owner), (Zip code: 57555) $250 to SOUTH DAKOTA REPUBLICAN PARTY on 08/17/05

Esther Assman (Retired/Retired), (Zip code: 57555) $250 to HEARTLAND VALUES PAC on 06/15/06

Esther Assman (Retired/Retired), (Zip code: 57555) $500 to HEARTLAND VALUES PAC on 12/03/05

CHRIS ASSMAN, (Zip code: 57555) $250 to FRIENDS OF JOHN THUNE on 08/31/06

MIKE ASSMAN (ASSMAN LAND & CATTLE/RANCHER/FARMER), (Zip code: 57555) $250 to FRIENDS OF JOHN THUNE on 08/31/06

MARY BETH ASSMAN (ASSMAN IMP./OWNER), (Zip code: 57555) $250 to FRIENDS OF JOHN THUNE on 08/31/06

2001 / 2002 Contributions:

Mrs. JoeJ. Mr. & Assman (Retired), (Zip code: 57555) $200 to REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE on 09/21/01

paulo March 10th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Hey These guys are more natchal teabaggers than we ever realized! Who knew?

GregB March 10th, 2010 at 8:47 pm

So it is safe to assume that Senator Thune is an honorary Assman.

-G

Generik March 10th, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Can you be an Assman AND a teabagger? At the same time…?

EssJay March 10th, 2010 at 10:11 pm

edub is God

MBouffant March 11th, 2010 at 12:45 am

See also.

edub March 11th, 2010 at 6:33 am

In response to EssJay @ 10

Thanks, but no. Sometimes I just gets lucky on teh Google.

Phoenix Woman March 11th, 2010 at 6:48 am

In response to edub @ 12

I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy! I SUCK!

Phoenix Woman March 11th, 2010 at 6:49 am

In response to RoodsterCrows @ 4

“Tommy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

Oh, wait, I was supposed to help, wasn’t I?

Hatmandu March 11th, 2010 at 8:51 am

I heard C Street Gladiators and Taco Tuesday Night was cancelled due to Stupak pinning people and not letting them up. That and most of the men weren’t fond of tacos.

Sagra March 11th, 2010 at 9:20 am

What I don’t get is why all the hoopla about the congress critters only paying $600 in rent to live in the C Street mansion. It seems like a perfectly reasonable rate to me, given that they were just renting the closets.

HalloweenJack March 11th, 2010 at 9:43 am

Everybody if you can, do the Assman…

heydave March 11th, 2010 at 9:52 am

Oh, you cool kids and your “lingo” again.
Taco is another euphemism, right? What’s it mean?

sigyn March 11th, 2010 at 10:08 am

In response to edub @ 6

I’ve been to Mission SD. It’s a small town. Yes, there’s a family with the unfortunate last name of Assman. And, yes, they take shit about it from birth onward.

Some of them seem to be Republicans, huh. Then they deserve to have their name mocked and their little contributions published here!

What’s the matter? You couldn’t find their phone numbers too?

I know this information is public; I also appreciate the way Michelle Malkin assures herself that she hasn’t broken any laws yet, either.

wavydavy March 11th, 2010 at 10:51 am

In response to Sagra @ 16

Sagra wins the internets.

Typical scene at the C Street house:

[A top Rethug (yes, that's a double entendre) is giving it to a bottom Rethug]

BOTTOM: Hey, c’mon, can’t a guy get a reacharound or something?

TOP: What do you think I am? A faggot?

ba-da-boom

Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.