Sometimes, the “shorter Ross Douthat” comes off like a chore. Sure, he’s wrong about Beck, who is as scripted as it gets, and he’s wrong to claim Bob Novak, who us in hell, only came off as bad because he had to go head-to-head with “hacks” like Begala and Carville.

But really? Douthat’s main point is that CNN’s business model doesn’t work anymore. He’s indisputably right. But let’s do a “shorter” because it’s Monday EST.

Chore.

You know, like Glenn Beck…

The only way this could be more awesome, is if Glenn Beck does his show FROM INSIDE THE CAGE!!!111!!! With Velociraptors. And a Rancor Beast.

‘compulsively watchable Glenn Beck’ ~ yeah if you’re like Irma la Douche, who’d watch Troy McClure making it with a fish…

I wasn’t aware that America was ready for a news show that featured “honest debate.”

My hubby was sad that he didn’t get all the nuance of Jon Stewart’s Beck send-up, so recently he landed on Beck’s show while channel surfing and decided to watch it. I don’t think it took more than a minute for the full crazy to be displayed and for channel surfing to resume.

“…and conservatives are only invited on Rachel Maddow’s show when they have something nasty to say about Republicans.”

An outright lie. Conservatives have repeatedly refused invitations.

Real ratings boom for CNN will come when they give Douchehat his own show. AND he gets repeated electric shocks or kicks to the groin every time he says something stupid.

Douthat is always a worthy punching bag on any Monday EST. This time Mr. Doubtfire is a little bit correct. He is, as usual, mostly wrong.

Douchehat is pushing the same old false meme that the media is liberal. Rubes eat that up with Chianti and fava Beans. Its complete bullshit. CNN is failing because it made itself Fox News Part Deaux.

Every time I read a Douchebag column (and, yes, I read them like I slow down to rubberneck car crashes because I’m sick, I tell you, sick!), I’m compelled to emulate Archie Bunker who, while Edith babbles on, pulls out an imaginary .38, loads the bullets in the chamber, puts it to his temple, and pulls the trigger.

Ahhhh, Ross, stifle yehself.

Whew, that induced more dizziness than usual.

Too many partisan hacks! Don’t listen to Stewart, he’s wrong! Wait, maybe he is right! Not enough sober discussion! Wait, what they need are more exciting partisan hacks! Wait, I think I’ve peed myself!

Any piece of writing that has the statement ‘ The show was years removed from its Michael Kinsley/Pat Buchanan glory days‘ has failed on every level, partisan or sober.

Begala and Carville aren’t hacks, they’re simply there to keep up the whole charade of our modern, carefully constructed political discourse, by falsely representing the Liberal viewpoint.

In this clip, which is one of the better moments in television history, we can clearly see that people like Novakula got nuthin’ when an actual Liberal like gets to debate them unfiltered:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ISil7IHzxc

Democrats would do well to study Zappa’s appearances on political shows over the years.

Yeah, it’s Monday and I’m pissy, but someone tell me again: this shit head gets a column in the NYT? WTF?

Douthat couldn’t find his ass if he started at his knees and worked north. He completely misses the fact that people choose either FOX or MSNBC for the same reasons that they choose either Red State or TBogg: they don’t want news or debate and they definitely don’t want to reexamine their ideas – they want validation. An actual robust debate would go over like a lead balloon because many people are already convinced that their side is right and the other side is wrong and they don’t want to become confused. As long as they can remain convinced that both parties aren’t actually working toward the same ends for the same people the system is working perfectly.

If Karl Pilkington is ever on holidays, Ricky Gervais can easily replace him with Douthat.

Right, liberals choose MSNBC because they can’t get enough of their dream candidate Joe Fucking Scarborough.

Neither side is right, both parties are wrong, we need a middle ground!

FFS, I don’t need a robust debate about climate change, evolution, science in general, economics, or human rights to know which side favors the wealthy and scared. The scoreboard on those issues is pretty fucking lopsided.

CNN should develop potentially “riveting” television programming …

Oh my goodness, I posted the Zappa on Crossfire clip over at Ezra’s when I was guest-blogging there a couple of years ago (that was before he went Big Media!) and the reactions ranged from surprised (that Zappa was a conservative) to impressed (that Zappa knew U.S. history, the Constitution, and the First Amendment–inside and out–and rather a lot of organized religion backstory stuff, to boot) to shocked (that Novakula appeared, at the time, to be the only sane journalist in the room).

I have since re-shown that appearance at a few Friday Frank posts, and I totally agree: everyone on the left who’s even *thinking* about debating something with conservatives–especially in front of cameras–ought to watch it and learn. I’ve shown it to my boys as an example of how to uphold one’s obvious advantage (not to mention maintain the intellectual high ground) while engaged in discourse with disingenuous, straw-man-propping hacks like Lofton. It’s just a wonderful, wonderful episode of Crossfire. How strange that Ross (or as the NYT commenters refer to him, Russ) did not mention it, even as he lauded the series itself.

But then, if Frank were still alive, we would be busy dragging him into running for some high office, and wouldn’t that just totally reinvigorate our politics. And wouldn’t Ross/Russ be staggering around with the biggest panty knot in the history of twisted knickers? And as anti-Fascist Theocracy as he was, wouldn’t Frank have an interesting thing or two to say about our deeply hilarious half-governor/almost-Vice-President?

bonkers, just wanted to clarify: Frank Zappa was a conservative. But he was an old-school, fiscal conservative who didn’t believe in the wanton spending that went along with invading every country with whom we had differences. He felt government should stay out of one’s bedroom and one’s business, that it should stick to taking care of America’s problems before meddling in the affairs of other nations, that sort of thing.

And he predicted the hard-right swing toward a politics steeped in relgious dogma.

The word “conservative” means something entirely different these days–a blend of neocon and theocrat, I think. Mr. Zappa would be horrified.

Anyway, you’re still right: Democrats should study his appearances.

Like many employers, FZ had a thing about unions, from dealing w/ the AFofM, which may have colored some of his economic views.

Also: Not quite the same person after he was pushed off the stage in London. Liberal who’s been mugged & all that.

Sophists of the world, unite! The gaggle of know-nothings gets more insipid by the minute.

I find it amazing that Doughy Pantload thinks that picture of himself is flattering.

I don’t know whether he was faking it or not, but John Lofton’s incredulity at Zappa’s insistence that America was in danger of becoming a fascist theocracy was especially rich. As if Lofton had not by that time worked four years for a paper owned – for that purpose – by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon!

FZ was also adamantly anti-police state, and had no kind words for the sting operation that got him arrested when he was just starting out, producing sound effect tapes, if memory serves, in his self-built studio.

And if you ever catch videos of him in the Czech Republic, some of which are subtitled in English (I don’t speak or read Czech), you’ll notice Frank making several old-school conservative statements, for example about the freedom of ownership, of being able to work to create something and then benefiting from its value, as opposed to creating something for the benefit of the state. It struck me how far the conservatives have strayed from that principle: the rights of the individual. Everything has been flip-flopped, I think, in the years since; we now have corporations benefiting from the creativity of the individual, and benefiting further from the munificence of the state via wingnut welfare and Supreme Court decisions; meanwhile, too many individuals can’t earn a living wage, don’t have healthcare insurance, don’t have much freedom at all, really, so getting to choose what church they go to on Sunday must, to those who believe, feel an awful lot like having some kind of choice.

Ah, it’s late and I’m rambling, but I’ll always talk about my favorite musician and composer, so apologies for any typos or odd syntactic disconnect.

Lofton was an absolute buffoon in that episode of Crossfire. And yes, how funny is it that he was a Moonie before most of us even knew what a Moonie was!

I have several favorite moments; one is when FZ states that we’re headed down the pike toward a fascist theocracy and either Lofton or Novak goes, REALLY, Mr. Zappa, really? And FZ just dryly shoots back, Yes, REALLY, Mr. Zappa.