If Carly Carlyfiorinafornia’s Senate campaign is a twenty-car pile-up involving a tractor-trailer loaded with demon sheep, then the equally quixotic Senatorial campaign of Mickey Kaus is a fender-bender between two Ford Escorts in a Big Lots parking lot. It fails the Rubberneck test.

Quite frankly Mickey is having problems getting anyone to pay attention to him including the California Democratic Party which is definitely not that into him. According to press release (written by Mickey) from the Kaus for Senate committee (which is Mickey) Mickey Kaus is not getting a fair shake:

The California Democratic Party has arbitrarily decreed that all the duly qualified primary election opponents of Sen. Barbara Boxer are not “viable”–and that therefore only Boxer will be allowed to speak to the state Democratic party convention.

“This is the natural reaction of a dying party machine. They don’t want any debate at all,” says Mickey Kaus, who is on the June 8 ballot as Boxer’s opponent in the Democratic primary.

“It’s a perfect illustration of why I’m running. Boxer and the machine don’t want a discussion about the effects of an illegal immigrant amnesty on American wages. They don’t want a debate on how public employee unions are bankrupting the state, or how teachers’ unions have helped destroy the public school system.,” he says.

“We intend to give it to them anyway.”

At which point the CDP probably said “You and whose army?” and Mickey replied, “Me…and my army of MickeyBots!” and then everyone probably started laughing and Mickey was all, “C’mon. Seriously. Throw me a bone. Let me stand in the lobby and hand out buttons or personalized pens or something.”

Ha ha ha . No.

So what led to this impasse?

It began with an email from Mickey:

I am a candidate in the Democratic primary for U.S. Senate. Chris Myers suggested that I email you.

I would like to file to request the party’s endorsement.

I also request appropriate speaking time at the convention to make my case, and a limited number of floor passes (for me and a staff member or two, if possible)….

And the CDP replied:

Mickey:

Thanks for your interest in seeking the CDP endorsement. Pursuant to our convention rules, unfortunately I can not offer you a time to speak to the convention floor.

Please see the attached letter listing candidates eligible for CDP endorsement.

Thank you.

But Mickey didn’t get to be who he is or where he is today (we don’t know what or where that is either, but just play along) by just being IGNORED:

Thanks for your response to my request for speaking time at the convention. But I find it somewhat baffling.

It appears the CDP’s bylaws give one person–the party chair (Sen. Burton)–the power to declare that a duly qualified candidate is not “viable” and ineligible for the party’s endorsement and ineligible to speak. This determination appears to have been made on the same day the Secretary of State sent out the list of qualified candidates–without even waiting for the information the party requested from me, which is due tomorrow, April 2.

I would think that in a democratic organization a determination as to which candidates are viable and which aren’t should occur after you’ve heard each of them make his or her case.

You can endorse anyone you want. That’s not the issue. What has been determined here is that you don’t even want to hear me before you make that decision. Since the ultimate result (endorsement) won’t be affected, I can only interpret this as an attempt to avoid a debate on the issues I might raise…

(followed by more stuff that is kind of boring and all blah blah blah futile whatever )…

At this point Mickey discovered what it is like to be hoist on one’s own petarded comments:

Thank you for your note. All four statewide officers agreed on the question of your campaign’s viability – based in part on statements that you had made to the press on that very topic – and forwarded their recommendations to the Chairman. One of the quotes was from an article you sent to us as part of your endorsement request on March 23rd.

* “I do not expect to win, and that is the difference between Franken and me. ” (New York Times Magazine, March 14, 2010)

* “‘I’m not going to win, don’t worry about it,’ he told one guest, who was reluctant to sign. Others were assured that they could still vote for Boxer in the fall.” (LA Weekly, March 11, 2010)

The general session is already overscheduled, and the statewide officers’ decision stands. We’re sorry but we just cant accommodate your request to speak during general session. We will return your check to you via mail tomorrow.

Thank you

To which Mickey replied:

“So I guess a blow job is out of the question.”

Ha ha ha…which isn’t true but he totally should have said it because, what the hell?