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Thank Jeebus we have the New Intertubes Media keeping us abreast of the latest developments about the Times Square Almost Bomber (who, by the way, is the personification of Barack Obama’s 9/11, just like that oil well thingy is Obama’s Katrina).
According to Allahakchew at the Jihadi tracking Jawa Report:
Another interesting tidbit: Faisal may have received online education in jihad. You don’t say, color me surprised, not. Jawa Report has been hammering on this for a long time.
The 30-year-old Pakistani-American accused of trying to blow up an SUV in the heart of Times Square may have been poring through the Internet for years to gather information on jihad. FoxNews.com has uncovered several dozens of postings by a man named Faisal Shahzad on radical Islamist Salafist websites devoted to a variety of different jihadist sects.
Adds Allahakchew
Also, it is reported the authorities tracked Faisal, but only through his tweets
Really? Faisal Shahzad was twitter-twatting? No shit? For reals?
Let’s follow THAT link which leads us to … Andy Borowitz:
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Taking great pains to explain how Times Square bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad was able to make it to JFK airport and board an Emirates airliner before being nabbed, authorities today said that they were following Mr. Shahzad, “but only on Twitter.”
A spokesman for the surveillance team following the suspected terrorist said that they were closely monitoring Mr. Shahzad’s tweets, “but he must have figured something out because all of a sudden he blocked us.”
The surveillance team’s revelations come on the heels of the Dept. of Homeland Security’s shocker that it had friended Mr. Shahzad on Facebook weeks ago and had even played the popular online game Farmville with him.
“A few days before the Times Square incident, Mr. Shahzad attempted to blow up one of our sheep,” a Department spokesman said. “In retrospect, that should have been a red flag.”
Oh, yeah. Screen shot:
No word yet on whether Shazad used ShoutyFace.
But, you know, developing…
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I like how all of Obama’s versions of Bush events are better. Obama’s Katrina kills 11, instead of 2000. Obama’s 9/11 kills 0, instead of 3,000. It’s like Bush and Obama are synonyms, only the opposite.
‘Miracle on the Hudson’ was actually done by the ferry operators who were there first. NYCPD sent the wrong boat for the wrong accident. Yeah, we’re safe. HEROES!!!111.
and Canada geese are completely evil. But you already knew that.
Even for angry, insane and idiotic wingnuts, that one’s impressive.
I’m afraid not even Shakira’s ass can cure a malady that deep.
“A few days before the Times Square incident, Mr. Shahzad attempted to blow up one of our sheep,” a Department spokesman said. “In retrospect, that should have been a red flag.” I’m going to ponder that insane paragraph over coffee this morning. If it’s not snark, then it’s teh awesome: Homeland Security play games with terrorists (hey, at least they weren’t watching prOn like the SEC) and don’t get the hint when their target goes all McVeigh on their sheep?!? Shocking. What’s a Muslim man to do to get some fear & respect here — blow shit up?
Wow. Homeland security plays Farmville all day? Where can I sign up?
So clearly those “radical Islamist Salafist websites” need to be closely monitored by DHS; and the names they pick up should go on the no-fly list, and be candidates for citizenship stripping and gitmoization.
It would just be an amazing coincidence if some “Douthat” starts posting to those websites…and gets into an argument with “Jonah G” about who is the most radical and has the maddest propane-n-firecracker skillz.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian. It is definitely snark.
Good stuff. If you are insane. My favorite today is Lindsey Graham saying terroists should be allowed to buy bazookas and what-not, but not fly on planes, because Thomas Jefferson never saw a 747. Brilliant. Soooo, it is too dangerous to try terroist suspects in courts, but if they want to buy a box full of hand grenades at Joe Bob’s Gun Show, well that’s their right.
We should pile every conservative in this country into the Superdome, and put a monstrous straight jacket around the entire complex.
Oh, thank you. I wasn’t familiar with his name – but I kept waiting for someone to say this was actually from “The Onion.”
Whew.
In my defense, let me say it’s getting harder and harder to tell what’s serious and what’s just a good deadpan delivery.
That Borowitz guy – does he have a newsletter? Cuz if so, I’d like to subscribe.
Yes, but more boobies would help me thinks.
Wait wait wait–you say that FarmVille allows you to blow up sheep? I may have unjustly dismissed it.
Yes, please–but also charge admission to watch. Talk about a vacation destination…
Borowitz does have a newsletter…. go here:
http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=743947b930
Love that tag line
Thx — egg on face tastes great. Serves this Facebook ignoramus right. I was really hoping this was good snark, but you never can be sure with our “intelligence” service these days… (Note to self: check out more of this Borowitz stuff, and also: check out that nifty Facebook thing that all the cool kids apparently dig — I wonder if they have it at Barnes & Nobles, or maybe I can order the paperback version from Amazon?)
But if you blow up sheep, you will be labeled a terrorist. Is that really worth it? If it gets on your credit report you would be unemployable.
tejana, I was going to say the same. And after all, the original WTC truck bombers went back to the truck rental co in Jersey to get their deposit back. FF to the intertubes era, and it’s not unreasonable for an amateur terrist-in-waiting to be tweeting and facebooking, at all, at all.
Meanwhile, it’s enough I can do to semi-keep up with all the acronyms and urban dictionary stuff. I don’t know why I bother, I forget most of them almost immediately, as they have no bearing on my chaste life!
.
Time to invoke Poe’s Law:
Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of [crackpot nonsense] that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.
Yup. And in Obama’s Katrina, he and everyone else outside of BP had no idea how bad it really was for the first few days after the spill because BP only released that info after they were forced to do so, whereas in Bush’s Katrina he and everyone else knew well in advance that New Orleans was gonna get smacked, yet he didn’t do shit even though the National Response Plan authorized him to do so once he declared the Federal state of emergency in Louisiana three days before Katrina hit.
Well, it’s so plausible, after all. James Bond played baccarat and poker and slept with female spies, so it was easy for the Jawas to believe that nowadays our intelligence people play Farmville and tweet with what Jon Stewart called “the Wannabomber.”