Somewhere, Carrie Prejean’s tears are dripping onto her fake plastic trees tits.

Roy Edroso notes that Debbie “SKREE SKREE MUSLIMS” Schlussel is all over that like stink on shit.

Why can’t dirty Muslims conform to our ways! Sharia Law is coming! Hey, a dirty Muslim conformed to our ways and beat us! It’s fixed! And she can’t walk in 8″ heels! There’s Muslims hiding in the Donald’s combover! I pooped my pants and nobody is here to change me!

I can’t believe that these beauty pageants still exist. What vapid nonsense. She is kind of hot, though…

I’m disappointed in Malkin, she missed the obvious angle: Tiaras are crescent moon-shaped head coverings.

If that’s what Sharia law looks like, well, allāhu akbar, y’all.

I detect Anchor Baby-envy from the Pacific Rima. Didn’t Miss HotAir get kicked off of Bill O’Loofah’s show, and now Miss USA almost falafelled on national TeeBee? No doubt Billy’s trying to setup a one-on-one with Miss USA right now (BYOL: Bring Your Own Loofah), and he’s saying, “Michelle who?” Poor, poor Miss NoJump.

Funny how actually winning a contest is only indicative of a larger societal trend when the white right kind of people win.

Expect a full on wrongwing freak out over this. They should be able to hear the shriek on Alpha Centauri.

Dumb Lady is on a roll

Here are some Hezbollah and Amal terrorists killed by Israel after trying to attack Israelis, all from Miss Michigan USA’s Hezbollah-stronghold hometown of Srifa, Lebanon:

* Kassem Mohamed Jaber from Srifa.

* Ali Hasan Farhat from Srifa.

* Ali Ahmad Nazal from Srifa.

* Osama Ramadan Hamoudy from Srifa.

* Mohamed Ahmad Ramadan from Srifa.

Residents of Lockport, NY should all be put in jail, pre-emptively. Now.

The very least you can do is use your Mad Photoshop Skillz to put Boaty the Escape Dog’s head on the cheerleader bot.

Oh, P.S. – the finals judges:

Carmelo Anthony – NBA’s Denver Nuggets who is a two-time Olympic medalist.
Tara Conner – Miss USA 2006
Paula Deen – Best-selling author, chef and host of four shows on The Food Network.
Oscar Nunez – Star of NBC’s hit comedy series, “The Office”.
Phil Ruffin – American businessman and real estate mogul.
Suze Yalof-Schwart – Executive Fashion Editor-at-Large of Glamour.
Melania Trump – Model who has appeared on multiple magazine covers including Vogue and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
Johnny Weir – Three-time National Champion figure skater and Olympian.

Paula Deen, the face of jihad!!!!!

The ability to predict the crazy and write the headlines the day before does allow for more time with the dogs.

I’ve always suspected that Johnny Weir was a secret Muslim.

I heard K Lo was wondering why they always pick a woman. Gender bias?

Oh and by the way; Delonte West is a Mother Fucker.

I thought Assrocket was the only rightblogger who watched this stuff.

Anyway, according to TPM this morning, Daniel Pipes is chiming in on this one.Seriously, there’s something very…um, dysfunctional about a nominally hetero male who looks at Ms. Fakih and thinks, “Never mind the boobies, which flavor of deity does she talk to?”

Yes, the right has every reason to be up in arms about this travesty because, uh, you know the Miss USA title is so IMPORTANT, and stuff, you know.

Also.

Hey, a dirty Muslim conformed to our ways and beat us! It’s fixed! And she can’t walk in 8″ heels!

Josh Marshall made the exact same observation. It ain’t about assimilation, obviously, since a Muslim woman can’t possibly assimilate any more than Fakih has.

“Melania Trump.” ROTFLMAO.

Poor Miss Oklahoma, I wonder if they forced her to view an ultrasound of the bags of gel they inserted into the fatty tissue that grew on her chest before she was allowed to compete?

First they got to Rachel Ray. Now Paula Deen! Is no one at the Food Network safe?! Oh, the humanity!!ONE!

“Coming up next on Diners, Drive-ins, and Death to America!”

Well, he did highlight that Lebanese restaurant on one show….

…all from Miss Michigan USA’s Hezbollah-stronghold hometown of Srifa, Lebanon:

Of course, no points to Miss Michigan for leaving the Hezbollah stronghold, it’s still all her fault. (granting, for the purpose of the observation, facts alleged as true…)

She is average for the Lebanese women I know. Seriously, when I visit the Detroit suburbs I am Mr. Pants-Tent, thanks to all the lovely and talented Levantine ladies.

SO DON’T BE FUKKING THIS UP FOR US YOU STUPID RIGHT-WING JERKS!1!!

you could set your clock to be wrong 1,438 times a day to these maroons

Hmmmm. The last Miss Oklahoma I know of to finish second in a national pageant was Anita Bryant, who finished second in 1959–and we all know how SHE ended up: absconding with funds after her Branson theatre went tits up, leaving her employees in the lurch. Fine Christian values there. Just sayin’.

Oklahoma has a tendency to produce very conservative and plastic beauty queens. Morgan Elizabeth Woolard is just following in the tradition.

Also EssJay @25, the most beautiful women I have ever seen have been of west Asian/Middle Eastern descent. From what you say, I need to move to Detroit!

First, they came during the talent competition, and I said nothing because I had no talent.
Then, they came during the swimsuit competition, and I said nothing because I could not swim.
Finally, they won the contest, and I said nothing because I had not come yet.