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Jimmy Carter is 452 years old, but he still kicks more ass before breakfast than many of us do all day long. Given the antics of the presidents who followed him, particularly the most recent reign of Fratty McFartjoke, I have to say America might not have appreciated Jimmy adequately the first time around. Also, our national attention span is that of a squirrel hopped up on pixie stix and heroin, and I’m not entirely sure the majority of the electorate even remembers who he is, which can only help him.
All of this is a fancy way to lead into the fact that the Red State Strike Force thinks it’s a smart move to compare Barack Obama to a guy who, in retrospect, looks pretty good:
Whatever the reason, Barack Obama gave the most depressing Oval Office speech since Jimmy Carter’s malaise speech. He didn’t just embrace defeat, he wore it on his suit as a substitute for an argyle sweater. He tried to sound upbeat in the way a cop in a movie might sound when his partner lay mortally wounded and the cop needs to get the partner’s wife to the hospital without letting her know her husband is dying. It was a false optimism with Barack Obama distracting Americans in a game of three card monte.
The best summation of the speech comes from our own Caleb Howe, who tweeted, “Let me be clear. Some oil spilled. But Katrina. And make no mistake. I’m having meetings. In conclusion, something about China. Windmills!” That, ladies and gentlemen, is the President’s whole speech in 140 characters.
“Look on the bright side,” he seemed to be saying. “You can’t get skin cancer while wearing hazmat suits at the beach. And hey, you don’t have to worry about shark attacks any more along the gulf coast since all the sharks are dead. And by the way, we’re going to go with clean energy.”
Cops and sweaters and card games, oh my!
I don’t know. I just don’t think repeating “Jimmy Carter Jimmy Carter Jimmy Carter” over and over is going to have the impact Erick “Erick” Erickson thinks it will. What are we supposed to be scared of? Obama turning out to be right about everything despite relentless GOP attacks about bullshit, and then spending the rest of his life building houses for the homeless and trying to make peace in the Middle East?
The commenters over there give me fresh love and appreciation for you fine people:
With the reduction in supply from the moretorium on Gulf oil, petroleum prices will necessarily increase. That will inevitably raise the cost of Obama’s golf balls, his speachwriters beer pong cups, and of course Joe Biden’s water pistols.
I mean, you may be a lawless band of filthy, degenerate hippies, but most of you can spell.
A.
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Ah, you don’t get it — Jimmy Carter is History’s Greatest Monster! Plus, he hates the Jews (AIPAC says so, so it must be true!) even though his Camp David accords saved Israel, or at least saved the Israelis from using any of the 500-odd nuclear warheads they still insist they don’t have even after Mordechai Vanunu spilled the beans on that little secret.
Of course, Carter never said “malaise.” Plus the fact that we would be much better off now if we’d listened to him instead of signing on to Ronnie Reagan’s Morning in America bullshit. However, I love the neologism “moretorium.” That’s where instead of calling a halt to the wretched excess, you demand more.
Yes, thanks, my spelling’s generally pretty good, though sometimes I make a misteak.
Spelling? The reich are all retards. See, e.g., The Family Palin.
Caleb Howe? Oh yeah, that drunken fuck who was begging for alms a couple months ago because he was unemployable. Looks like he is still drinking Scope and tweeting from his parents basement.
And what a shock the wingers mention the fake ‘malaise’ speech, but never seem to recall that Paul Volcker, the man who choked inflation and got the economy on the right track, was a Carter appointee whose policies Bonzo Reagan fought tooth and nail.
This has nothing to do with your comment, Phoenix Woman, but “Mordechai” is a name we really need to bring back into fashion. It’s pretty fucking badass.
A.
Gosh, Obama had better be careful about becoming the next Jimmy Carter or Al Gore; before he knows it, he might win the Nobel Peace Pri–oh, wait.
Indeed. Shall we create a comic book superhero named Mordechai? If so, what should he have for superpowers?
Bad Jimmy Carter is just part of what these folks, in different circumstances, like to call the “narrative.”
They don’t like to quote Carter anymore. He comes off looking like a Next Testament prophet.
HalloweenJack, FTW. How many Nobel Peace Prizes do the Republicans have? Then again, we all know that peace has a liberal bias.
I’m a big fan of the name Mordechai as well. It makes me think of one of the best names ever: Mordechai Peter (Three Finger) Brown…
Also known as “Miner” Brown
(end Cubs fan)
Erik bin Erik is just jealous that Jimmy Carter has done something with his life other than be Tail-End Charlie of the Macon City Council and occasional idiot for CNN.
Somehow I can’t see Erik Squared building a house for anyone, much less for a poor person and definitely not with only hand tools.
Carter never said “malaise.”
I understand this one’s due to go down in history as Obama’s “tits” speech.
Carter is important. We as liberals should make a firm commitment: we will stop blaming things on George W. Bush exactly twenty-eight years after the Republicans stop blaming things on Carter.