Hey, as long as TBogg hasn’t taken back his keys, I’m gonna drive his nice little Chevette until it stops and I’m stranded far from any exit off this gorgeous Information Superhighway.

And since my three-cylinder mind is still grinding, I want to address under-noticed issues that affect the Blogosphere. Like the ramifications of Weigel-o-rama. No. Just kidding. I’m just into a particular slice of that, which also happens to be a particular peeve, a lack of accountability for repulsive sacks of shit who masquerade as Serious People.

In this spirit I’d like to present this piece I had missed from Lord Jeffrey “Profound Morality” Goldberg, in which this plucky young go-getter Brings Da SnARK, Yes, Yes, I Know I Started the Iraq War:

I’m getting a bit of the Two Minutes’ Hate from the usual suspects about my posting on Dave Weigel. The same old stuff: I started the Iraq War, I’m an AIPAC stooge, a bloodthirsty Likudnik, I’m a sociopathic fabulist, I drive a mini-van, etc. But some bloggers don’t seem to get me: I understand, of course, that Israel represents the greatest threat to world peace today; that the defeat of Saddam Hussein was a victory for Bushist fascism; and I realize that Saddam had no relationship at all with al Qaeda (despite the volumes of evidence that suggest the contrary — if you’re clicking through, I suggest Volumes Two through Four in particular). So I can’t understand the vehemence and the ad hominem attacks. Oh, I’m also looking forward to seeing Oliver Stone’s Hugo Chavez hagiography.

Awww, SNAP!

Anyway, I think it’s really special a stand up guy like that has a job at The Atlantic.

I realize that I’m not a “usual suspect”, but since I used to be a journalist — and a real one too, not some silly pee-stained blogger — it automatically grants me “serious” status and conveys the right, nay, the obligation to judge the work of a mere blogger like Jeffrey G.

I used to think that he was just a lying, shitty agenda-driven warmongering reporter AIPAC stooge. But now I’ve revised my original judgment: He is a whiny, lying, shitty, agenda-driven warmongering reporter AIPAC stooge who distorts his critics’ claims while ignoring the substance of the criticisms — which is the hallmark of a good blogger, but a shitty “thinker”. Moreover, by engaging in nearly every argumentative fallacy in a brief-but-epic jizzstorm of self-pity, he’s actually tied the previous Goldberg Dick Scale held by one Jonah D.P. Goldberg, which in a staggering coincidence, is also a World’s Record Dick Scale.

For the record, I don’t think he caused the Iraq War. But his poorly-sourced, agenda-driven, hollow reporting in the run up to the Iraq War which he openly supported helped justify it to a not-insignificant number of Americans. And, on the eve of said war, he thought it would be seen as an “act of profound morality” five years from its start. Now, if he believes that it was, in which case he should, you know, argue its merits. Or he doesn’t, in which case he’s a cynical shill for war who thinks he pukes things out into a vacuum OR his thinking has evolved. But since he’s still pimping Saddam – Al Queda ties (sample slippery dodge: “It’s clear Saddam had ties to terrorists“), I’m thinking he’s still trying to justify his con.

Still, I have standards. And because I’m a serious journalmalist guy, I asked some respected Middle East scholars about Jeffrey Goldberg, specifically his observation that:

I have noticed, by people with limited experience in the Middle East (Their lack of experience causes them to reach the naive conclusion that an invasion of Iraq will cause America to be loathed in the Middle East, rather than respected)

One unnamed academic replied: “This is a serious quote?”

Another who requested not to be named said, “Why does this Goldberg [fellow] think Arabs respect people who bomb their country, regardless of the reason — and here the reason was clearly specious? Does he think that Israel has won the respect of the Arab people in general? It’s an observation of a sociopath.”

I tried to find someone who would second Goldberg’s assertion. There was a guy from Bob Jones University who agreed, but then added “Plus, it’s good for the Rapture.” So fuck him.