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GameStop managers in Tuscaloosa are risking almost certain damnation and an eternity in hell (or worse: an eternity watching the ESPY awards on an endless loop) for their mockery of Our Lord and Savior, Juicebox Jesus:
Tim Tebow was the cover boy for NCAA 2011, striking a fearsome, fist-clenching pose on the front of EA’s college football game/simulator/epic time suck. FEEL HIS INTENSITY, VIEWER. Early reviews indicate that the 2011 edition of the game features improved passing, something Tebow will also have to patch up in the transition between last year’s edition and this year’s in his first year as a Bronco.
If he’s like the game he’ll throw a pick every fifteen attempts or so whether he wants to or not, which will make him sad, and which will remind you of Tim Tebow’s other less dignified pose: crying. Fortunately the GameStop managers of Tuscaloosa, Alabama are here to remind you of that pose lest you forget with a custom cover they slipped onto their stores’ copies of the game.
This is super special awesome.
(ht: the L&T Casey)
12 Comments
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I love it!! If Saban was at Alabama the whole time Tebow was in Gainesville, Tebow would never have won any National Championships. Alas. last football season will have to do. And we’ll have to root for Touchdown Jesus(Brady Quinn) over Juicebox Jesus.
He’s touching his own eye black in such a feminine way that it kind of defeats the original purpose of the eye black — to look menacing to your opponent.
Home skoolin’ is almost as good as a nonunion, antiunion charter school with uniforms, but neither has yet produced as many HOF drop back quarterbacks as the unionized, pro union high schools of western Pennsylvania. Does this mean Jeebus actually likes Unitas, Marino, Namath, Montana and Kelly (and the United Steel Workers and the United Mine Workers and AFT Pennsylvania) better than Tim Tebow and his Missionary Mom?
Yes. Also.
It’s part of Timmie’s mating ritual.
First you buy the eye black. Then you buy the (2) wetsuits. Next thing you know, you’ve got a roll of climbing rope, a dildo, a scuba mask and you’ve gone a weeeee bit too far…..
me thinks your little one is still smarting from the 56-10 beatdown the rainbows received back in 08. tell me, did her tears taste like coconut milk?
Well, considering that the Rainbows are the University of Hawaii and the Fighting, Vicious Silverswords (can there be any other kind?) are Chaminade, the coconut milk spoiled when the white-hot rays of ridicule got turned on Pope Urban the Classless and his greatest apostle, Timmy “I clip the tips of little boys’ dicks and I’m not even a Rabbi” Tebow.
that was only 1 game.
timmy has a lifetime of ridicule coming his way for being a crybaby and me thinks L&T C enjoys laughing at CryBabyJuiceBoxJesus just as much as the rest of us…..
wow who knew there was more than one college in paradise? i stand corrected
Wait–they’re actually selling the game like that? Or trying to?
“I clip the tips of little boys’ dicks and I’m not even a Rabbi”
If thats not a Stephen Sondheim tune, it should be.
A little off topic, but just to comment on something you said early in the piece:
The ESPYs are already on an endless loop. I can’t seem to get away from them.