New Media Supergenius Tucker Carlson conspired with Andrew “What The Fuck Are You Looking At? Hunh. Hunh? You Want A Piece Of Me?” Breitbart to release Breitbart’s Shirley Sherrod Altered Reality video on the same day that the Daily Caller’s Journalisto Apocalypso story ran and, as expected, Breitbart’s story and the subsequent implosion trampled this faux media conspiracy story underfoot like a puppy at Pamplona.
Determined to reap all the kudos he could gather during the mayfly life of the Journolist story, Tucker instructed staff coffee fetcher and speedbump Jim Treacher to round up all of the accolades he could, probably for some kind of in-house morale-boosting fake Pulitzer ceremony over cupcakes and a vintage bottle of Annie Green Springs Peach Crisp.
One quote that will surely inspire awkward white-people high fives and an addition to the letterhead must be this quote from Legal Insurrection’s William Jacobson who gushed:
“I’ll admit it, I was wrong about The Daily Caller when I called it a failure several months ago.”
This is truly the “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl” of journalistic praise.
Get thee to a masthead.




6 Comments
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You’ve got to hand it to William Jacobson, he can make two polar opposite statements and be wrong both times.
I have to admit that as much of a dolt as Tucker Carlson is, he’s learned that the way to earn praises from the right is by exclusively attacking the left. A nice recovery from leading the GOP $2000 lesbian bondage strip club debacle, pretty soon they’ll be letting him sit at the big boy-table… Still, as soul-deadening awful stupid as this article is, he has a lot to learn from Breitbart about being a completely dishonest hack.
“Speedbump” = LOL!
I have to admit, Tucker Carlson isn’t *quite* as big a drooling moron as he looks.
However, if Tucker objects to my characterization, I’m willing to retract it.
This is now.
That was then.
Douchebag is too kind a term for shameless bastards.
Shameless Bastards.
He’s two, two, two jerks in one!
Um, that pic of an elephant giving birth to tiny Tucker Carlsons… that’s photoshopped, right? It didn’t really happen. Right?