Tim Pawlenty has no idea what happened to Mitt Romney

By 2012, it is entirely possible that America will have grown tired of smart, interesting, charismatic black politicians and will be on the lookout for someone who like that nice man down at the insurance office who wears cardigan sweaters, brings a tuna sandwich, cookie, and apple sack lunch to work every day, and goes to bed every night at 9:30 because he needs his forty winks and, besides, he doesn’t much care for that smutty Jay Leno with his risque jokes and such and such.

When America reaches that point, it will probably turn its lonely eyes to Tim Pawlenty:

Call him the stealth candidate. Even as Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty polled a lowly 3 percent among New Hampshire Republicans, a Washington Post headline this week dubbed him “a contender to reshape [the] GOP’s 2012 image.”

Largely unknown in the early primary state, Pawlenty still packed a room with curious journalists this week at the St. Regis Hotel in Washington, two blocks from the White House he’s eying for 2012. The New Hampshire poll, released Wednesday, is only the latest indicator of Pawlenty’s weakness as a potential GOP nominee. But there are more subtle indicators that suggest the governor may be in an uncommonly strong position to be just the kind of candidate the GOP may want: a relatively mild-mannered Midwesterner who won’t bring controversy or baggage of his own when he shifts the focus on President Obama.

Excited? Well, you’re not supposed to be so don’t be getting all “het up” (as the kids put it) over TPaw (as the kids never put it) because he’s not going to make a rash decision like that time he chose the cordovan loafers over the wingtips and everyone was all, “Whoa. Mr. GQ sexmachine! Hot date tonight? Grrrrwwwlllll! No, seriously, you shootin’ for second base?”

In a strong position or not, Pawlenty says he’s not worried. “A, I haven’t made a decision whether I’m even going to run or not, and B, I continue to have not much name ID or awareness in some of these other states,” he told reporters on Wednesday in St. Paul.

To test out his electoral viability, Tim Pawlenty has released a video called “My Boring Fucking Life” where we learn that Tim wants to take us back to a time when all a kid ever wanted to do was play sports during the day while dreaming at night of becoming  an astronaut, a cowboy, or storming the beaches of Normandy, because gosh-darnit (excuse my french) that is what made America great.

Also, there were no negroes.