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Hey. This is surprising.
Right wing bloggers are having trouble stopping the Muslim Death Tower of Death so they are looking for someone whose ass they can totally kick otherwise they will never feel manly ever again and then they will have to start sitting down to pee or something. And just in the nick of time, along comes a sixty year-old black woman who looks like she can’t take a punch.
…taking some good old-fashioned Blago speculation and turning into something ugly, making personal and (wait for it) racially charged attacks on Jo Ann Chiakulas, the juror thought to have been the lone holdout on the charge that the former governor tried to sell an appointment to President Obama’s Senate seat.
Kicking off the how-low-can-you-go competition was Ace of the blog Ace of Spades, who after noting that the holdout was an African American retired public health worker who has “ties to the Chicago Urban League,” once campaigned for a family member and “listens to NPR and liberal talk radio shows,” wrote: “So she’s sort of hooked up with …. community organizers?” The Horror!! He wasn’t done though, calling her a “cog in the Chicago machine” and suggesting that because the Chicago Urban League was once headed by Blagojevich’s former press secretary (several years after the juror left the Urban League) Chiakulas was “steeped in dirty Chicago machine politics” and she “had no business being anywhere near a jury.”
Got that? So because she listens to NPR and once supported an organization that someone who once worked for Blagojevich later worked for, she’s dirty. So who does have “business being anywhere near a jury,” according to Ace? Can only Rush Limbaugh’s supporters be trusted to serve on juries?
Even though Ace O’ Spades (But Not The Black Kind O’ Spades So Everyone Just Back The Fuck Up. ‘Kay?) has a history of World of Warcraft Jihad he kind of of pussied out on this one because, well, you know Ace and vagina-Americans, hoo boy, so he claimed a pulled hamstring or groin or manboob or something forcing Tom Macguire to get off the bench and drag Ace’s pansy ass across the finish line:
Unfortunately, we haven’t hit bottom yet. Blogger Tom Maguire earned that spot (so far) for his comments related to the revelation that Chiakulas’ former boss later served on the board of trustees for the hospital where Michelle Obama worked, and then concluding:
- Which means what? Maybe nothing – Chicago is not that big a city if you restrict the world to black community activists such as Ms. Chiakulis or the Obamas. But it is the sort of coincidence that may or may not be a coincidence. Fortunately, we can rest easy knowing that our tireless watchdog press will ferret out the truth.
That’s right, Maguire actually suggested that because they have an acquaintance in common and they’re both black, the first lady of the United States and this juror are involved in some conspiracy to get Blagojevich off the hook.
To unerstand this, you need to put on your Glenn Beck Hat O’ Crazy here:
Can’t you see? Don’t you see? It’s all connected, people. Corruption… community organizers …. conspiracy…. the Urban League…. ACORN… black people … AFRICAN Americans.
And you know what country is in Africa?
Kenya.
And you know who is a secret Kenyan?
Rod Blagojevich.
Yeah, That’s right. Have you ever seen his birth certificate?
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Glenn & Ace don’t just blow goats, they wreak sado-sex on them.Spreading racist slime is just loosening up for the main action.
Yes, indeedy, O’Bummer’s in the bag fer Blago, just like he is for Don Siegalman. Those guys are lucky he didn’t run over them the way he steamrolled Ted Stevens.
Man, T, you are just killing it. Thanks for the laugh on such a grim subject.
tbogg, you really need to talk to John Stewart. I hear he has people like you writing for him.
I knew it. I just KNEW Blago was an african. Who else could have hair that looks like a poorly straightened “blow-out”.
Blago isn’t a secret Kenyan. He’s really a secret Italian from Philadelphia–Bobby Rydell!!! He changed his name and moved to Chicago but he forgot to change his hairdo.
I have been on one jury in my life, for a murder trial that was actually a retrial from a hung jury where there was also apparently one late middle aged woman who was the holdout – that was my conclusion, anyway, based on some info gained afterward as well as the prosecution trying to singularly filter out that sort of person during jury selection. The facts of the case really wouldn’t suggest that middle aged women of any color would have been sympathetic in the least to the defendant, so I guess they were trying to stave off any more failures.
Anyway, that jury apparently took a week to end up hung, we took about 45 seconds to convict. Took over hour to get us back in the courtroom cause everyone had gone to lunch. Point of this story I guess is that next time around it’s unlikely Blago will have the prosecution’s ball bounce off both uprights of the goalpost again.
Waittttt a minute. You know who else is from Chicago AND is black? Donovan McNabb, that’s who. So he is involved. And probably a Muslim. And…uh oh…AND now Mohammed McNabb has moved to Washington. And not the one that grows apples and brews a lot of coffee. DC! the capital of the free world! Which means what? Maybe nothing. Well, probabably nothing.
But I only care because it increases the odds that the black muslims, McNabb and Obama, are secretly attempting to enact sharia law by transmitting mind control signals from the Washington monument to the Manhattan mosque.
I think you’re right. (I’ve also seen some arguments that the real problem with the case was that the Chicago Tribune was about to leak that Blago was being wiretapped, and Patrick Fitzgerald had to go ahead with an indictment before Rod actually set up a deal. But, yeah, I think they’ll get at least a conviction on the Senate seat deal charge on the retrial.)
So, did Ace and Macguire actually do some investigative reporting? Nah, they just googled “the craziest shit Michelle Barack Obama Juror 12 Blagojevich”
And there’re probably no spellcheck for Blagojevich. That’s a hard word to spell. It took me quite a while and then I gave up and just copied it.
And, yeah, I really agree with cynick. You might be soulmates with John Stewart.
Considering that Fitzgerald has bankrupted the Blagos, who can now rely on the expert counsel of public defenders or court-appointed attorneys during the re-trial, plus of course Fitz has seen the ‘defense’ such as it is, yeah — I give the re-trial good odds, especially since federal re-trials almost always get their man.
Probably? Check out McNabb’s headgear:
http://birdsfan.com/images/donovan-mcnabb.jpg
The conspiracy is so vast they flaunt the top secret conspiracy right out in the open!
I used to follow the links in your reporting. But I found that, especially when you linked to the ACE OF SPADES, I had blackouts and ended up in strange places. Anyway. I’m off the paint a house now.
cynick & gonewaybeyond: I appreciate the sentiment re Tbogg’s comedic abilities and you are quite correct in that assessment, but I am pretty sure it’s Jon Stewart you’re referring to.
If your masturbation-to-intercourse ratio was as high as Ace’s, you’d probably feel more comfortable handling penises, too.
Bullshit.
In a world where Obama is muslim, why should Jon Stewart not be John Stewart or even Jimmy Stewart?
Have you ever seen them all together at once?
I thought so.
Time does not permit, but it seems from the picture and bio that Dr. Lumpkin may also be black.
OK, the picture, sure, but I read the bio several times, and damned if I can figure out exactly what it was in there that convinced Maguire that Lumpkin was black. I mean, seriously, take a look. Is there anything in that bio that would lead one to the conclusion that the person being described was black? Anything at all?
I want to hate people like Maguire, but I end up feeling sorry for them, because they just seem to be in need of medication, or therapy, or something, because they’re just so fucking pathetic and sad.
Posted this over at Digby’s but I thought it might apply here too so here it is. I hope this isn’t autoplagiarism, and thus inethical.
I just got it, Glenn Beck has said that Barack Obama is part of the same movement as Lincoln and TR. He’s a Rushmore President. And don’t I recall a Mr. McCain who used to call himself a Lincoln Republican a Roosevelt Republican. So Fox’s stance is now is that Barack Obama is a lying traiterous socialist nazi because he is like Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.
Republican Rushmore
Ayn Rand, Rush Limbaugh, Strom Thurmond, and Ludwig Von Mises.
Reagan was left off because he was considered too much of a pussy because he let the cold war end without blowing everything up just after his sponsors had sold it all, and the fact that Franklin Roosevelt was Reagan’s favorite president, kinda inconventient.