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Per Steve at NMMNB, some soldiers balked when ordered to go see “christian rock” band BarlowGirl and so instead they were grounded and they had to stay inside and clean their rooms and it was totally not fair:
Dozens of soldiers who refused to attend a Christian band’s concert at Fort Eustis said they were banished to their barracks and told to clean them up, and the Pentagon said Friday that it was investigating the accusation. Pvt. Anthony Smith said he and other soldiers felt pressured to attend the May concert by the Christian rock group BarlowGirl as part of the “Commanding General’s Spiritual Fitness Concerts.” Private Smith said 80 men decided not to attend. “Instead of being released to our personal time,” he said, “we were locked down. It seemed very much like a punishment.”
But not more punishing than listening to three wholesome young ladies sing songs of longing and lust directed to a vague unspecific “you”, but not you “you”. Nope, they’re talkin’ about Jesus, the bad boy who never calls (see video below). But you have to ask yourself what kind of strapping young American warrior would not want to see an act aimed at people who find Avril Lavigne too “edgy” or more accurately a “ball-busting whore-skank”?
The kind of guys who will not protect you from Muslims, that’s who.
So thank Jeebus these guys are being called out in front of the whole platoon, because the next thing you know military discipline will break down and some of them will totally start bagging on the Thursday Night Team Edward Twilight Book Club and then the mean notes will start mysteriously appearing in lockers. Next thing you know there is a barracks burn book, and finally… fragging.
Anyway, here is your BarlowGirl music video (it’s about Jesus, by the way) set appropriately to scenes from Twilight and you must love it otherwise you hate America. Or Jesus. Or sparkly vampires.
One of those.
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Anyway, here is your BarlowGirl music video (it’s about Jesus, by the way) set appropriately to scenes from Twilight and you must love it otherwise you hate America. Or Jesus. Or sparkly vampires. One of those.
Don’t forget baby Jesus, Tim Tebow.
Seeing that video makes me want to rewrite the entire history of pop love songs except replacing the person being sung about with Jesus, including all of the 50s and 60s songs like “The Leader of the Pack” which would go “My friends were always putting him down” and “look out look out look out” but with sound effects from a crucifixion instead of a motorcycle crash.
Nineteen fifties. Last century. About yea high.
Sigh.
so when is Prussian Blue booked for?
That’s what I was going to ask. Is it too much to ask that they get on a No-Fly list?
Nope. Ain’t gonna watch, General.
Well, Jesus and Edward are pretty similar. They both have eternal life, are sparkly, and make a teenage girl’s heart go aflutter.
Never heard of this band of deceivers, but back in “the day” I did know some BarstowGirls, and let’s just say there was no Jeezus happening there (or maybe there was in a PaylinPeople, teenaged unwed hypocritical mother sorta way).
This rise in christianist bands that copy pop music trends exactly in order to fool people into hearing “the word” has been confusing to me. Can’t Jeezus give these kids any inspiration to come up with their own new styles, or will they just have to continue copying beelzebub’s booty shaking beats created by those of us who are damned to eternal hellfire?
Apparently the traditional music and “the word” by themselves aren’t enough to complete the sale.
PS: And the award for most Gratuitous Use of the White Flash Editing Technique goes to……Markvadass!
Right here, from “The Official Homepage of The United States Army,” is the good General Chambers, who looks like a uniform dress up kween, reich wing, self denying, kkkloseted homo, or in other words, a straight married republiKKKan male:
http://search.ahp.us.army.mil/search/images/index.php?per=10&page=2&search=james+e.+chambers
I especially like this one, where General Chambers is playing “Teh Ghey Scoutmaster” with our Boyz In Uniform:
http://usarmy.vo.llnwd.net/e1/-images/2008/09/29/22961/size0-army.mil-2008-09-29-084649.jpg
Maybe he doesn’t make ‘em listen to that awful music if they put out.
This can only be countered by Slayer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2Rxbnjrm7o
Our military is has a bad infestation of Talibangelical theocrats. Time to call the Orkin man.
In Viet Nam one Christmas we were given a choice – go see Bob Hope or go on a “search-and-destroy” (basically act as bait to draw in the VC). The officers were smart enough to make a lot of us sit in the back where would not show up on camera.
Not the Virgin Tim! (Literally.)
“Show us your…”
You don’t know what you’re asking for: L O V E on one, and H A T E on the other. “You mean you never heard the story of Righty versus Lefty? Well, now…”
‘Bout as virgin as Brittney and Justin were, if you ask me…
Heh. I think that the proper response to the Barstow Girls is a little Hank III.
It seems reasonable to me that all soldiers should be required to listen to that. I’m a fairly peaceful guy, but I listened to half of that song and felt like a killing machine.
I for one find the Commanding General’s interest in “spiritual fitness” very scary. And unconstitutional.
And who could ever forget Rick Springfield’s Jesus’ Girl?
Does the general have stock options in these clowns?
Just watched five seconds of that video and can’t imagine any guy liking it. Or girl. Or vampire.
Btw, this band will now forever be known as the sissy little girl group whose daddy sent 80 US soldiers to their rooms because they wouldn’t pay attention to them.
Good way to start your careers, ladies.
So Jesus is like some asshole boyfriend who never calls you, keeps stringing you along, and just wants to drain your life essence. Works for me.
Markvadass is a Badass for Jesus.
He’s been busted down for hazing under the military code. See:
Justice 1 Jeebusman 0
My bad.
The link:
Maj. Gen. James E. Chambers Hazes Soldiers in his Command
Black Jesus is worse
This guy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeBRrrHybnI
Well, yes, I think your Jesus fits the bill. He seems more philosophical than the standard JesusInc.
I don’t think JuiceBoxJesusTebow will like your Jesus’ fuckin’ language though….
Barlow Gals, Won’tcha come out tonite, come out tonite, come out tonite.
Barlow Gals won’tcha come out tonite and we’ll dance by the light of the moon.
The Byrds – The Christian Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBAz7iwPPdg&feature=related
One of my faves,
Sister Lauren
THC Ministry
This is especially for the Barlow Gals, and General Chambers and his ilk!
Get down with it and let it ride…it is an elixir for misplaced and misguided dogma from the holy pontificators who are railroading our soldiers strapped to the Generals bootheels!
One assumes one would want to see such tits.
Hard to know where to begin, but let’s begin with the obvious: how many nose jobs before they got them that small, esp the boy?
And then what’s that scary black guy followed by the monkey doing in the middle? That’s what I call subtle.
If this is Xtian, then they better be married. Or wait, think Shakespeare did it better.
And, finally (well for now anyhow) blonds do really have more fun, n’est pas.
Judging from what ive been hearing these past couple of decades, “The Devil” is on sabbatical from the music biz. from what i can guess he must’ve split right about when Tommy Dowd retired from Atlantic
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
— Mark Twain
Religion: Insane people following insane gods.
Oh, choose me, choose me! I’ll pray for the sinner. Or maybe it’ll be less offensive if Satan prays for me.
Thanks Mary. I for one will remember to say a prayer
to, er.. FOR the beastmaster tonightI don’t remember the exact number from DailyIrrelevant, but I remember a blog saying God killed millions of people in the bible while the devil only killed 17, and that was on a bet with God. I guess it make sense that the military wants christian soldiers.
When I was in the U.S. military years ago, any officer trying to ram their religion down the throats of the troops would have been court-martialed or reprimanded for violating their oath to protect and defend the U.S. Constitution, for proselytizing the troops, for violating the separation of church and state (and church and the military). Religious coercion in an attempt at religious conversion would not have been allowed.
Former civilian commander-in-chief George W. Bush allowed this to happen to our military, in direct violation of his oath, an impeachable offense. Current civilian commander-in-chief President Barack Obama could address this and put a stop to it, but with him being falsely accused of being a Muslim by right-wing fanatics, he’s in a bind, damned if he does anything, damned if he doesn’t. The Pentagon chiefs could take care of this, but I doubt they will, because the right-wing backlash wouldn’t be directed toward them necessarily, but toward President Obama, you know, the “Muslim” who isn’t even an American citizen, if one is crazy enough to listen to the Teabaggers and other RepubliKKKans.
When I served in the U.S. military, I was not fighting for this conservative crap, this despoiling of our Constitution, this outrageous anti-American act. I was fighting for the right of all American citizens to be free from tyranny, the right to practice their religion or not practice one at all, the right to not be hounded over religious matters, whether in the military or in civilian life. Apparently these “Christian” commanders are there for totally different reasons, reasons that have nothing to do with honoring their solemn oath. Court-martial them!!!
the scapegoat never gets the prayers only the hellfire and brimstone
So here’s my favorite M.A. in religion project, seriously, that I have yet to persuade anyone to do. Take the OT, NT, and Quran. For each paragraph in each book, put a tick mark in columns labeled: militant, peaceful, not relevant. Then just count ‘em up and take ‘em as a percent of the total.
My guess is that order of militantism is OT, Quran, NT. PhD thesis awarded (if MA comes out how I guess) if you can ‘splain why Xtians have killed so many more peeps than Jews or Muslims (as a % of course, to give Jews a fair chance) despite the ‘peaceful’ nature of their book.
Aha. Good Q for the Lt.Col. I met a couple of weeks ago if she shows up at the next science lecture in the series where I met her at the end of July. She was all atwitter about how Clinton would have been court marshaled for his transgressions if he were in the military. Wonder (not) what her take on Xtian proselytizing in the military is & what the consequences might, or might not, be.
You’re going the right direction, but it’s more complex than that.
(Hit “submit” too early. heh)
There are adjunct and apocryphal writings for each of the Abrahamist sects, which guide their beliefs beyond and outside the actual scriptural references.
I have never heard a Christian “rock” song that didn’t make me want to claw out my own eyes, shove an ice-pick through my ears, and pull out my tongue. They are SOOOOO horrible! Usually they are by untalented people who are convinced that they have talent by their families and pastors who lack an aesthetic sense.
When you think about beautiful songs like, “Amazing Grace,” you can see where they may have been “inspired” by a divine being. But I haven’t heard a modern Christian “rock” song (I’m throwing up a little in my mouth as I write that) that is remotely “inspired”.
Wouldn’t it be great if they did a survey asking all personnel questions like,
“Have you ever been made to feel “uncomfortable” because you are not a Christian?”
Yeah, we won’t be seeing THAT survey anytime soon!
Thanks TBogg.
Also good to hear the commander in question has been demoted and reassigned.
Takes SOME of the sting out of this one, along with the formal complaint(s) filed.
They don’t own us all yet, by dawg.
Xtian priests used the moral imperative of “saving souls” to get stupid people to go on wars of conversion to enrich the papacy.
They spread the good word of gods mercy with the sword and torch with the “if we kill innocent people it’s good for them because they’re with jesus in heaven, if we killed guilty people they deserve it and will burn in hell, and god will forgive US no matter what atrocities we commit.”
There was no real personal responsibility in medieval christianity because the popes wanted more followers and money, the people would kill for “gods forgiveness” and the popes “get out of hell free cards.”
All of the killing, burning and devastation was in gods name so it had to be for the greater good…saving souls with thumbscrews and witch burnings.
When a religion gives people an excuse to not hold themselves accountable for their actions or even praises them for inhuman acts it’s natural for the body count to rise because it’s no longer “wrong” to do terrible things “because god sez so.”
Was that an acceptable answer?
Ah crap that was eCAHNomics question…sorry for hitting the wrong reply -_-
Slayer goes to church.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHb4gs1hwck
HILARIOUS!
Lewis Fry Richardson wrote Statistics of Deadly Quarrels, a detailed catalog of all known wars and conflicts between 1820 and 1949, and “was unnerved to find that of the 128 conflicts between warring parties of the same religion, in 119 Christians fought Christians. Furthermore, of the 134 wars between differing religions, in 105 one of the parties was Christian.”
Great, first it’s the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs Christian thought virus outbreak, and now this. Well, this country’s about toast, burnt toast.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I got though about 3 seconds of the video before I barfed all over America. Gimme Front Line Assembly!
Up next, Barfing Across America, by whats-her-name-barstow-chix-or-something.
Whoever posted that comment you referenced had things wrong. Chambers is not directing a supply dump – he is the new director of logistics, US Army Central Command. It’s not a demotion – he is now ultimately responsible for the logistics chain supporting Iraq & Afghanistan. I’m pretty sure that this means that he will be in the short list for his third star in 2-3 years
“Christian Rock” is an oxymoron – just like “military intelligence”.
Everyone knows that rock and roll is, was, and always will be devil music imbibed with evil jungle rhythms – at least the good stuff is.
Listening to Christian Contemporary Music (its true marketing tag) just makes you feel like you’re in Hell. With only sugar-free cookies and generic caffeine-free soda for refreshments.