My God, does this cry out for a Ken Mehlman/Glenn Beck joke or what?

his I Smell Ass and Suicide soliloquy

You’re determined to make us long for the return of the Malkin cheerleader video, aren’t you?

Thank you for posting proof that Glen is indeed the First Victim of the new Victim-American Revolution. He gave his ass to the cause of Taking back our freedom to keep our Medicare Prescription Benefits that we deserve – morphine, Toradol, Fentanyl patches, Percocet every three hours, and a synthetic morphine drip.

We are Taking back our Victimtude from those who abuse its priveledges in section 8 housing and fried food stamp chicken and chitlins. We are the rent-seeking Victims of big black dick brothas and we are goin to the mountaintop to seek our just rent and full medicare coverage of assrip surgery.

A couple weeks ago, I was watching a CSPAN book thingee at a bookshop in the DC area. The book was something about American history, interesting enough that I watched.

During the Q&A, a 30-ish, reasonably kempt, white guy asked if the author could address differences between the author’s position on something, versus Glen Beck’s position on the same historical matter.

I swear to gawd, right through the teevee, I could feel the whole room go very chilly and dead silent, into a socially-terrified embarrassment shared by all, as everyone tried to figure out how the author would handle this absurdity gracefully.

It was very awkward for about two minutes, and then the author got things back on track. My point is how widely shared, in a straight-forward, semi-random, public discussion, was the revulsion over having an audience member treat Beck as intellectually competent.

We are starbursts
We are Guldens
We drive hundred year old cars, and
We have to get ourselves
back to the Olive Garden

Remember that Forbes article wherein Beck hinted that he didn’t really mean any of it but hey, being a performing clown for America’s idiots is an easy way to make a shitload of personal income?

What the hospital staff didn’t tell him was they transplanted his brain into his newly tightened asshole and his bowel now empties through his mouth.
I suppose a lightning strike is too much to hope for?

“In a new promo posted on a “Producers’ Blog” at his website…”

Producers’ Blog???? The memory is vague..but..

Oh wait, I get it now. Beck is Zero Mostel. Who’s Gene Wilder? Scarborough? Ailes? Pigeon guy? Probably Kristol. I can just see them sitting around Fox, saying “This rally has to close HERE, on PAGE TWO.”

But everything goes horribly wrong….

Fred Sanford, you were no match for Glen Beck.

That was some radical surgery indeed; and yet, strangely, nobody has noticed any difference in Beck… almost as if nothing really changed…

“Faith-based patriotism” is a phrase that drips with teh stupid. If there really was a God, surely he’d sack up and whip out the big smoting iron when he hears that “Beck [...] plans in part to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. as an American hero. [...]” I mean, how much more of an insult to one of His great servants can you get?

Love the spelling of “certificate” by the guy cloaked in the flag above.

Beck has an enormous ass. He reminds me of the Ned Beatty character in Deliverance and the fat ass cry baby new con in The Shawshank Redemption.

Don’t take the brown Metamucil.

Beck has an enormous ass. He reminds me of the Ned Beatty character in Deliverance and the fat ass cry baby new con in The Shawshank Redemption.

It’s not fat, his ass is just distended because he pulls facts out of it so often.

I swear to gawd, right through the teevee, I could feel the whole room go very chilly and dead silent, into a socially-terrified embarrassment shared by all, as everyone tried to figure out how the author would handle this absurdity gracefully.

It’s unfortunate the author felt the obligation to handle the question with any tact. The proper answer in that situation is “I don’t give a flying fuck what some undermedicated, undereducated huckster told you to think about [insert subject here]. Keep your pinheaded questions to yourself until you’ve read a real book on the topic.”

We are starbursts
We are Guldens
We drive hundred year old cars, and
We have to get ourselves
back to the Olive Garden

You can turn off the Internets for today, Mr. President. We have ourselves a winner.

Heh. “Beckstock”

If Beck manages to get Jimi back to perform the National Anthem, then I’m in.

United States Code:
TITLE 4 – CHAPTER 1 – Section 8 “Respect for flag”
Paragraph (d) “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery.”

I concur doctor.

A-fucking-men.

Ah, yes – the Abbie Hoffman clause.

And I’d call Mr. TBogg’s captions rimshots but that’d be taken the wrong way.

I recommend this as his march song.

I’m guessing the attendance will be on par with the number who signed the Declaration of Independence.

Although I don’t if any of the Beckstockers can actually manage to read the Declaration.

Adam Gopnik in The New Yorker of August 30 has a great review of some books about Churchill, in which he points out that “a patriot [is] imbued with a love of place and people” and “a nationalist [is] infuriated by a hatred of aliens and imaginary enemies.” I think that pretty much sums up the whole us vs. the teabaggers+wingnuts thing. For people who claim to love Amurka so much, they sure do hate practically everybody in it.

Interesting that both both Beck and Limbaugh had anus-related conditions that were incapacitating.

Coincidence, OR…?

Beck has is an enormous ass.

Fixed it for ya.