It seems that Douthat is taking the week off (meaning that the ladies can relax and  let down their hair as well as  their uterus shields) so we must seek sustenance with a value meal frosty beverage included elsewhere.

Let’s see…. Well, here is something interesting.

Remember when the good folks over at The Weekly Standard went for a little sea cruise a few years ago and discovered The Abominable Snowgrifter; a woman of modest educational accomplishments and unvetted background, and how they all got simultaneous snow boners which caused them to make one of those boner-influenced decisions that guys make because the boner must be respected. And so they put their heads together and  figured that, if she could get a bunch o’ Lil’ Reagans to stand up and salute the flag, well maybe she  could use her tits & ass charm and intellect to distract the electorate and, with any luck, the voters wouldn’t notice that her running mate was a bitter old rage-grandpa. But then she went and ruined it by saying stuff, and America was all, “Um. You’re a lot prettier when you don’t talk… kind of like Megyn Kelly” and instead they voted for a Muslim black guy.

Yeah, that happened. It was in all of the papers.

Anyway, it was all tits and giggles back then but now conservatives are confronted with some kind of backyard amateur Teatard-created Palin 2.0 Bimbot, who has a chance at actually winning the primary and then going down in the general like Larry Craig in the plumbing aisle at Home Depot.

This will not do.

So The Weekly Standard has assigned noted ladies man/stalker John McCormack to the Christine O’Donnell beat (not to be confused with the O’Donnell beat-off) and after days of dumpster-diving and panty-sniffing, what he has discovered is not pretty. No, it is not very pretty at all:

O’Donnell, who is now challenging moderate congressman Mike Castle in the September 14 Delaware GOP Senate primary, sought $6.95 million in damages. In a court complaint, she extensively detailed the “mental anguish” she suffered after allegedly being demoted and fired because of her gender. And, although she didn’t have a bachelor’s degree until this year, O’Donnell implied she was taking master’s degree classes at Princeton University in 2003.

[...]

O’Donnell claimed that ISI had caused her to suffer “mental anguish, loss of enjoyment of life, mental and physical pain and anguish”–and that, according to an amended complaint, she had to “seek treatment for her distress.”

According to O’Donnell’s July 1, 2005 complaint submitted by herself:

Miss O’Donnell was and is profoundly humiliated by this demotion of being asked to perform clerical and administrative tasks, after appearing on national television as a media and public relations expert and spokeswoman, for a man who was hired straight out of college as ISI’s receptionist and clerical assistant, and whom she had been asked to train previously [emphasis in original]. [...]

For at least six months after being fired, Miss O’Donnell suffered enormous pain, cried frequently at the sense of personal loss and failure caused by ISI, and at the sense of injustice, and could not sleep at night, often wide-awake, replaying the whole scene in her mind, until 5:30 am, and has suffered from understandable and resulting depression.

“Miss O’Donnell’s mother and sister both noticed and spontaneously told her at the time, prior to litigation, that she was differently [sic], and urged her to seek medical evaluation,” according to the complaint.

“Ms. O’Donnell has suffered extreme emotional harm as a result of the actions taken or not taken by ISI, and statements made by and on behalf of ISI, in the form of grief, shame, humiliation, embarrassment, anger, chagrin, disappointment and worry. This harm has caused physical manifestations, and caused Ms. O’Donnell to seek treatment for her distress.”

Now my normal inclination would be to encourage Republican voters in Delaware to vote for O’Donnell because she will, in all likelihood, lose to the Democratic nominee and that is good for my team. But I am also a deeply caring person and I am far more concerned with how Christine O’Donnell’s perilous mental state would cope with the deep humiliation, extreme disappointment, and something-adjectivish chagrin a primary loss would bring about. So, I was thinking,  maybe the Delawarian Republican voters could see it in their hearts to throw Christine a primary nomination bone this Tuesday ( just to build her self-esteem up, you understand) and that will give us some time and  breathing room to deal with her “issues” before the November elections by providing her with the “tools” to deal with the stress of campaigning and the  disappointment that will be inevitable on the morning after for-keepsies election day.

I am told that masturbation is a great stress reliever…