Todd Palin, the shiftless deadbeat husband of Sarah Palin, as well as presumptive father of her children (Trig excluded, unless of course…oh, Bristol, eww), is going Papa Grizzly Bear on the evil bastard that done stole the sub-literate email tweeter-twat thing he pissed in the snow outside of Alaska’s second most famous grifter’s doublewide ice-hovel.
You see Sarah Palin doesn’t say shit unless someone is paying her to saladshoot words out of the opening in the hollowed-out, be-Bumpited gourd that is her head. And when Joe Miller didn’t pay tribute to Palin (example: “I’d eat a mile of her bullshit to get within an inch of that ass”…. or words to that effect), well, lets just say nobody puts baby in the corner of the igloo… which is actually difficult to find, truth be told.
So Todd Palin took time out from his snowtard NASCAR hobby to issue a press release to that kid at the Weekly Standard who also happens to be buysarahpalinsusedpanties.com’s best customer. Says a member of conservatives4palin who plays Todd on the internets:
My family has worked hard in supporting Joe Miller, so when I heard he’d said something less than supportive of my wife’s efforts, I responded. But it turns out we’d gotten our wires crossed and Joe hadn’t said anything like what I’d been told. So there’s no story here except the fact that the press put our personal emails online again, and again couldn’t even be bothered to conceal our email addresses or take any steps to protect our privacy.
Or shorter “Todd”:
Todd mad at Joe but Todd wrong. Now Todd mad at press for talk talk non-spoon fed Palin words.
Now you would think that the onus would have shifted to back onto the “lamestream media” for word raping the very private Palin family who just wish to be left alone to live out their lives in silent dignity, working on their meth farm under the midnight sun, but then Joe Miller went and tried to play rope-a-dope with Megyn Kelly tonight and it was not a boffo performance:
You may prefer the black & white version:
WooHoo! Snowbilly Hatfields and McCoys!




36 Comments
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Did anyone use the term “Ceement Pond” in any of this?
That’s the last thing I have to check off on my Beverly Snowbillies Bingo card, and after that I can stop paying even this much attention, which I must admit I’m sort of faking at this point, mainly because I can’t actually follow a word these people say anymore. Who’s Joe Miller? I thought his name was Dennis?
Joe sounds like he had his teeth — and his brains — knocked out playing hockey.
Ah, yes — the ringing “Technically speaking, yes, she’s qualified” endorsement. I’m sure that’ll satisfy $ayrah and the ex-First Dude.
I swear to Jeebus, every day that goes by makes “Idiocracy” look more and more like some eerily prescient documentary.
If there’d been animals sleeping in here the laughing out loud would’ve frightened them into a corner of the igloo.
About the meanest (coherent) snark I’ve read on the Interferno yet. Non-stopadelic! And extra points for the shot at Continetti.
They crossed wires?
More like locked horns.
She’s not qualified until we see a birth certificate.
Mongo like Todd…
Joe Wilson???? Don’t tell me the Palins were involved in that!
OXO’s
GoodBad Grips salad spinner tucks in there nicely….Hey, Sarah’s parents already admitted to sneaking across the border to score some Canuck-y socialist healthcare for their kids, so is it any great leap to wonder if they did that when Sarah was squeezed out?
Or perhaps, just perhaps, the dirty deed was done in RUSSIA (also home to low-cost COMMIE healthcare), and Sarah got a seekrit commie mind-control chip implanted at birth! Could that explain her obsession with seeing Russia from her porch, or admiring Russian planes flying overhead?
It would be irresponsible not to speculate. And laugh. Also.
Sarah is so 2008. Let’s have more Christine!
That’s the precise part at which I realized that despite my even half-hearted attempts to keep up with Hillbilly Hamlet, it had lost me before I’d even gotten past the cast of characters page.
Though I’m wondering now if William Boggspeare just made a typo there, confusing “Ambassador, husband of ex-spy and fourth Beach Boy brother” with “Dennis Miller impersonator”.
Marry, this be but another of Joe Miller’s Merrie Jests!
My advice to Joe Miller is to definitely NOT dress up as a wolf on halloween.
I think you have something there. How do we know Palin is not secretly Canadian? Does she say “aboot” instead of about? Does she know who Time Horton is? Does she know the words to the US natural anthem? (If she does, she’s Canadian.)
Someone needs to yell “God Save The Queen!” and see if Palin reacts. (Although she might think they are talking about her, which would invalidate the experiment.)
So Joe Miller has one brain cell in his head and used it to defy Mama Grizzly. Pass the popcorn, Maude. This could get very interesting!
So this is why the wingtards are admonished not to speak to the liberal media-it always twists their words, takes things out of context, and makes them look petty and stupid.
FOX News, of course, is the worst of them all.
That’s the one with lyrics by Lamaze?
Sounds French.
So what are the bookies odds on a ‘sudden rockfall’ near Joe’s house? What other side bets are out there? And is Linda McMahon going to the be manager of all this fun?
It’s time for The Toddster and Christine’s daddy to rev up the Ragin’ Clown Tour-a-Palooza bus and take the show on the road…..
…working on their meth farm under the midnight sun…
If Palin runs, she should have Spinal Tap do her campaign song.
How do we know Palin is not secretly Canadian? She admits she got her childhood health care “across the border” in Canada. I’ll bet she was immunized with that Canadian vaccine, the one that makes you like hockey and crappy beer.
Todd ANGRY…Todd SMASH….GRRRRRRRRRR…this dope and his wife are made for each other. Too dumb to [insert clever allegorical reference here]…find their asses in a phone booth with both hands tied behind their backs? Not quite too dumb to breathe, but the autonomous nervous system is doing wonderful things these days.
Joe Miller.
Though, really, all these Randroid/Jesuzoids look alike to me, too.
Fixeded.
Teabaggers: E pluribus scrotum.
RepackRider @ 26
Win of the day
Cheesus, what a great rant. But, seriously, dude, you need to switch to decaf.
It’s time for The Toddster and Christine’s daddy to rev up the Ragin’ Clown Tour-a-Palooza bus and take the show on the road…..
I second that. Added to the bill: Sharron (2 r’s?) Angle, with very special appearance by Michelle Bachman. The Four Hoarse Women of the Apocalypse.
saladshoot is the replacement on my word of the day calendar.
Thaumaturgist @ 11 – ooooh: Sarah’s 2012 ‘calculus’ has gotta allow for starburst decay.
goddamn, man. that’s some good stuff.
in a post full of good ones, this is my fav.
I wanna hear Joe Miller pronounce “nuclear”.
Todd may be the presumptive father of Bristol, Willow, and Piper, but there’s a fair amount of evidence that Track was sired by one Curtis Menard, Jr.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/32527116@N06/sets/72157623877484058/detail/
Maybe she meant “America the Beautiful”, the one people “naturally” think should be the anthem.
Whoa!
Here’s Ragin’ Todd’s pa
Joe Miller is an expression meaning an old joke.
Seriously.