Apparently on her show tonight, Sarah Palin is going to be shooting cows.
The things you learn on The Learning Channel.
I can’t wait for the very special bald eagle episode. I’m told she’ll be using recipes from the 1995 Alaska Independence Party fundraising cookbook. A crockpot takes the toughness right out.
And then the Iditarod two-episode cliffhanger: Sled dog or party member? Well, it is going to be two episodes, right?
When Palin is involved, it’s spelled ‘Idiotarod’.
Ohhhman I cannot WAIT til this economy goes all subsistance on yer liberul whiny ass. Yesiree we need ta cull the herd and aint no better way than to git this cuntry back to its kill or be killed roots. That is the esssence of freedom an liberty ya know.
You aint a patriot unless you got an arsenal in yo basement. I can ask Whoose yer Daddy to any lameass commie stupid enough ta wander up the driveway of my ranchette cause I do. Cept there is no point ta askin cause Ill shoot firrst.
Thats all Sarah is sayin, we RedStaters are jus tired of supportin yer BlueState asses. An now were ready ta git er done.
wait wait, wrong graphic, I got it here somewhere…
Unless you’ve stepped in a library or read the editorial comics or stayed in a job for more than 2 years, Save your criticism.
I don’t get it. It the pissy hostility supposed to endear her to me? Who’s the target market here? Who finds this attractive?
I’m sorry, but I have hunted and butchered domestic livestock of various sorts and shooting cattle on TV is just plain crass. It is also kind of gross, but then food ain’t pretty until you prepare it properly.
Awesome. Preemptive whining. Can I haz cheese with that?
Okay, ignoring the gratuitous slaughter of a domesticated animal (cause she’s like, outdoorsy and stuff)—she assumes THAT’S the only reason anyone condemns her. Because the fact that she’s a lying, racist, hypocritical, snake oil selling moron would NEVER invite condemnation.
Not to mention, I thought the only viewers she still had her were her Palinbots, since everyone else was bored to tears by the first episode. Also, too.
Also, too, also—did you know that negroes aren’t as patriotic as white people? Yes, it’s true. Snowtard Snooki details it in her new book. They aren’t as patriotic because they challenge and question the gubmint too much. I’m sorta confused thought, cause A) isn’t the big gubmint, like bad and stuff and wants to take my freedoms by taxing me for roads and schools and B) aren’t the teatards better than me and more patriotic because they question and challenge the gubmint?
Please help, my poor hillbilly head is a hurtin’.
I can’t believe she left out had sex on a bearskin rug
She is out shooting cows?
Shooting a metaphor could actually be funny, though she would likely miss herself.
Wait… they make couches and shoes out of liberals? I’m confused. And who the hell hypes their lame-ass, suffering TV show by responding to presumed criticism before it’s even been voiced? Did the focus groups completely loose it over tonight’s episode?
Having misinterpreted her somewhat bizarre and cryptic warning, viewers tuning in were surprised as the failed governor, apparently completely snapping at long last, attacked her Barcalounger and then proceeded to eat her shoes.
She’d better not shoot any naugas. Poor little bastards are almost extinct now. If only they weren’t so damn comfortable and stylish!
Maybe it will be helicopter hunting in Macy’s.
Look how the loungers turn all at once, in formation, and lumber toward the freight elevator in a frantic bid to escape! How do they do that? Look, there’s a footstool lagging behind, and… she’s going after it! Is this exciting television or what?
It doesn’t matter. Nobody watches anymore.
First the turkeys get it, then the cows. Beeytoch is up to her tush in muck. Could somebody do a reverse Wikileaks on her? Please?
Unless you’ve never worn leather shoes ball gags, sat upon a leather couch Tantric sex chair or eaten a piece of meat edible panties, save your condemnation of tonight’s episode.
Oooooh, Jonah Goldberg is going to learn some stuff tonight!
Heh—maybe Rich “Starbursts” Lowry, as well.
BTW Guns, how do the fundies near you in those 20% unemployment counties feel about thier buddy, Greg Walden, these days? Bet they’re all still suckers, even as their beneifts are due to expire for Christmas. Cause, you know, any day either a rich person is gonna give them a job OR they’ll have their own super successful small business and be a rich person themselves.
Oh for fuck’s sake, now she’s PRE-offended?
If I thought it would save us all one news tweet cycle of outrage to get it out of the way beforehand, I’d be all for it. But you know it won’t.
OR they’ll have their own super successful small business and be a rich person themselves.
One of my fundy coworker’s granddaughters has come up with teh most awesomest plan ever!
She’s renting her uterus out instead of working a real job (like her extremely obese grandpa does at the local McShitz (he’s fry cook and the best one ever, according to him)). She’s already pooped out a couple of kids of her own (fathered by different fathers who are now long gone) and now she’s pooping out kids for other folks.
Apparently she collected a cool $15K the first go-around and blew through that like Ragin’ Todd McPalin on a meth binge!
Her current bf has a nifty bone through his lip which seems to be keeping him from his rightful career as a NASCAR driver.
Awe, Oregon white trash. They’re the smartest peeps in the world. Just ask ‘em!
I’m tempted to reach out to the The Lurnin’ Channel and propose a new show. “GunsBeforeButter’s Oregon: Birthin’, Blood and Blue Tarps”
Pleaseeeeee, could we have our puppies now? I know we’re not supposed to get them on Sunday anymore, but this is clearly an emergency, calling for Soothing Puppy Goodness.
We are desperate.
1) I bet she considers herself to be a good Christian
2) Sadly, the Lurnin’ Channel, still would not accept you for their White Trash Apocalyptic TeeVee Count Down, because Oregon, as everyone knows, is a librul, elite, eeewwwyy blue state full of hippies and stuff.
Or at least those of us evils in “the seven counties” (as the other 29 inbred ones call us), who force our stanic will on the rest of the state make it that way.
In other news, Go Ducks!
Jeebus. I mean that quite literally- Jeebus, save me from your followers. Where in Oregon do you live? Because I provide prenatal care and birth control in a public health clinic and I think I know these people.
I think the naugas actually are extinct. We used to see them roaming in giant herds all over the country back in the ’50s, but I haven’t spotted one in years now. Too bad, selfish people overhunted ‘em and today’s kids don’t even know that they ever existed.
Are you an Oregonian, too? For a not particularly populous state, there are quite a few of us on Tbogg. I’M lucky enough to be in the bubble: Not just Portland, not just Multnomah County, but Earl Blumenauer’s district.
And there are still fundies here and there.
OK, fine. It’s your moose. Can I at least take my saddle?
Yeah- also Blumenauer’s district. I live in the People’s Republic of Buckman. I can take public transportation to a world class symphony- YoYo Ma tonight!!- and at the same time I can walk to 2 different Powell’s, and grow my own fruit and greens and eggs and potatoes in my own yard. It’s still a good place to live, as long as the 51%-49% election breaks hold out. I work in a rural county upriver from us, and it’s a little pocket of Appalachia right here in Cascadia. Lots of meth, poverty, unemployment and fundieism, usually in the same personality.
Or it’s a little pocket of the MatSu Valley! I bet that one in the same person also just hates the new school lunch law (though they can’t afford to feed their kids) and actually supports tax cuts for the rich.
I’m in South Tabor. I like to look at this last election as the BEST the Puggies could hope for and they still pretty much blew it. Kitz’ll be relected with a significantly larger margin.
I’m south of campus in Eugene (GO Ducks!!! #1! Eat Meat! Yay!) but work in an ag related field which allows for plenty of “windshield time” with, uh, yokels(?)….
For a not particularly populous state, there are quite a few of us on Tbogg.
When Jane, Mistress of FDL, lived out here, we had a fun email exchange the day after Shooter Cheney shot a poor fuck in the face. I knew a doc who knew the doc that patched the poor fuck up. Drunker-n-skunks they wuzz! I’d been following a some-what-popular blogger at that point and was happy to see Jane and TBogg “hookup” (heh).
We hunt DucTape here in Oregon. It’s the new suede!
I asked my dad what bald eagle tastes like. He said it’s like a cross between ivory-billed woodpecker and California condor.
Bristol is dancing again?
Yep! She totally owns the 9:45 to 9:55 Sunday morning gig at the I-3 Pop-n-Go truck stop/adult entertainment venue in Wasilla…..
I don’t know about you, but I’ve found a unique level of talent resides in the NFL-Pregame time slot at most all truck stop nudie bars. The more serious attractions (not noticeably pregnant, majority of teef residing snuggly in gums, “mush” tramp stamps, red come-fuck-me Naughty Monkey pumps) hit the track closer to kickoff….
Or. . . . . . . . .
Maybe Sarah gets lost in the Great White North and, disoriented and out of ammunition, she’s forced to eat her designer Prada handbag, before turning her appetite on her mother-in-law. That would be some great TLC.
Can’t wait for the Joe McGinniss official exposé.
For the Whinemaster, cows might prove to be the wiliest of game. They are, after all, intellectually equally matched.
TBogg, I’m tired of the spit takes. My laptop can’t take much more. Stop being so damn funny!
Kinda like Deadeye Dick’s aim…? ;-)
Shooting cows? Will she start with herself?
Who finds the pissy hostility attractive? Her target market. The pissy hostility to the people who she supposes will be outraged because she clubs a halibut or shoots a cow are a signifier. Those she wishes to piss off are those lieberal homos who need to MAN UP!!!! That’s message her market likes. If they think it will piss off lieberal homos, it’s ipso facto abracadabra good. Also. Too.
I see it every day. All the time. The hostility, the anger. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be a woman who needs to club something to death because it will piss someone else off. You can’t sustain that kind of anger. Eventually, it’ll choke you. She has what she wants- cheesy fame, lots of money. What the fuck? Why does she need to piss people off? What does she get from it?
She’s a Mean Girl. She can’t help it. I had a friend like that. Toxic. They don’t self-edit their meanness. They can’t.
Also, her tweet was a commercial for the show: “Watch me!” Wonder what the ratings were for this episode.
They are, after all, intellectually equally matched.
If the whinemaster had to go through life in a cow’s body, I am certain she would be defining the bottom end of the cow bell curve on intellectual abilities.
I read these words as a plea of desperation – someone who’s trying to boost her audience viewers for the show. I think this is more about getting her base to tune in then trying to get those of us who could care less what Sarah Palin plans to do. Although if she tweets anything about streaking naked through Denali National Park, I might make an exception.
I was really afraid to think what she might have been hunting – baby seals, maybe?
Apparently it was
- which she missed repeatedly with her”favorite gun,” until borrowing a “better gun”, and then her own daughter mocked her kill.
The episode before apparently showed her kids as totally contradicting everything she said, by their behavior if not words, and in a pattern we’ve all seen before – the girl children do the work and the boy children are spoiled rotten.
And, TBogg, you have some of the funniest commenters on-line.
It’s not The Learning Channel anymore; it’s just TLC. No one was learning anything and the earning is all going to the Discovery execs.
“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out out meat?”…Sarah Palin, ‘Going Rogue’
Science, right there, for you in a bucket.
And, thusly, forever earning the title of “Twitter’s Twat”.
~ Harry R. Sohl
Looks like the real hunters are criticizing Sarah P’s skillz