Like her mother, SnowSnooki Jr. does not take kindly to people saying not-nice things about her and, like her mother, her natural response is to go to ShoutyFacebook and get her bitch on in the loving embrace of her highly regulated GED-minions.
First it was Keith Olbermann for making fun of her “Greaseball-tard Attempts Pick-Up of Fat Girl ” dating tip video (seen above) to which Bristol’s Facebook Boswell lovingly tossed together this side salad of verbal roughage:
Accusing me of hypocrisy is by now, an old canard. What Mr. Olbermann lacks in originality he makes up for with insincere incredulity.
Which is the “yo-mama” of the snow set.
Then Margaret Cho said that Bristol had to go on DWTS to make up for costing her mother a chance to be Queen of America (right after she killed a surprisingly acquiescent John McCain… even it took six or seven shots). Bristol’s automated retort mechanism responded with some kind of late-nineties lesbian codespeak that I am not familiar with despite multiple viewings of Bound:
…but I say, if you understood that commonsense conservative values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert.
Okay. Still not getting it.
Now… today… at this moment, Bristol Palin is very mad at Kathy Griffin (possibly because Griffin dated Bristol’s baby daddy after he sampled the goods and found them wanting and, besides, Bristol should be mad at Griffin since everyone knows that ex-boyfriends are just off limits… I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism) but mainly Bristol was mad at Griffin for calling her “fat”:
Bristol Palin is fuming after Kathy Griffin made fun of her appearance while hosting VH1 “Divas Salute the Troops” on Friday.
Clad in a bikini, the 50-year-old comedienne joked that the “Dancing With the Stars alum “is “the only contestant in the history of the show to actually gain weight” — but Griffin’s jibes elicited booing instead of laughter.
“Come on, come on. She gained like 30 pounds a week,” Griffin shouted over the crowd. “I swear to God, it was fantastic. She’s like the white ‘Precious.’ “
Oh, snap.
Instead of devising a lengthy comeback — as she did on Saturday afterMargaret Cho accused her mother, Sarah Palin, of forcing her to join ‘DWTS’ — the teen mom kept her rebuttal short and sweet.
“The audience’s reaction to this ‘comedian’ spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her, too,” Palin, 20, told Fox News. “I hope people didn’t have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms.”
And that is so unfair of Griffin. Because as Bristol (somebody else) wrote in her (Bristol’s dictated more or less) response to Cho:
…I was ready to get out of my comfort zone and try something new and challenging. I thought dancing would also be a great way to exercise–and it was.
So that 15 pounds she admits she put on? Totally muscle. Unfortunately it all developed under her factory-installed original chin.
I blame it on the tit-shimmys.
(Bonus) Our little Colby on Kathy Griffin:
Ms. Griffin has used the Palin clan for her “comedy” material before.
Colby Hall : “journalist“. I bet he use “air-quotes” on lots of “stuff” when he’s “talking”.
What a “douche”.




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Old canards make the best foie gras. Or is it Faux gras? I get totally confusled when snowbillies parles vous. Who do they think they are, Canadians?
I’m pretty sure she’s never fired either of those guns before, and also broke almost every rule in the NRA safety handbook. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_safety
I’d rather have a colonoscopy at an unlicensed Russian back-alley clinic than watch an entire episode of Jersey Shore, but the Situation’s timing and line readings in this clip are not awful. Palin’s acting? I’ve seen better in ’70s porn loops.
I refuse to watch any clip of the Grifter Klan, so looking at the still frame, why is Chunky Beef Wrinklesoon dressed up as a prostitute in 1923?
The most surprising thing about the sordid tale above is that Kathy Griffin said something sorta kinda funny. Griffin vs. The Grifters. Are there any bigger attention-whores in the world then Kathy and this Klan? Uh-oh. I think a light bulb just went on somewhere in a cubicle at the The Lurnin’ Channel.
Just a thought, but thinking back to Ross Douthat and his impenetrability, perhaps he ghostwrites the Palins Facebook pages?
Only when they need a doctor.
What the fuck happened to her hands? They look like yams with Little Smokies popping out of them.
Tha Sitch wanna hit that Snatch!
The phrase “Bristol Palin is a hypocrite” being elevated to the point of “an old canard”, let alone a canard, may be one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read.
By the way the word originally comes from the proverbial phrase “vendre un canard à moitié”, or “to try to sell someone half a (living) duck”, in other words, to try to cheat someone with an absurdly transparent lie.
In our country this is roughly the equivalent of “Selling the Brooklyn Bridge” or more closely perhaps, “Selling the country half a governor”.
Yeah, but a refined gal like Brillow is more susceptible to:
Nice one, guns.
Your thread title made me cry. with laughter.
Don’t those highly informed, well read, and culturally current SnowGrifters know that k.d. lang does not use upper case letters in her name? Gosh, you’d think someone was ignorantly name-dropping or something.
Bristol: “[...]the decent people I know [...]“ I double-damn dare you, repugnant beyotch: Name. Just. One.
Plump Rump Grumps; Griff Riff Stiff.
Headline coming to the Penny Saver Weekly Shopper this week. And probably the Washington Post.
I weep for my country.
Scuttlebutt is that “dancing” show was pitched as “The Ice Capades… without skates!”
Much “Sid, baby! You’re a genius!” and “Is this guy a genius, or what?” and back slapping followed.
How dare you use the phrase tit-shimmy and not link to this?!!
And Bristol thought they said “iced cupcakes with trout steaks”…
Yeah, the ghost writer is working overtime, creating FB entries for both Sarah and Bristol. Also, too, Kathy Griffin is a goddess. The apple has not fallen far from the tree with this one…
Palin, 20, told Fox News. “I hope people didn’t have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms.”
A pitiful lament about the rules Lady Tremaine enforces on her Northfork offspring. And Furst Dude. Just came about when Piper not only failed to start the dishwasher after cleaning up the Thanksgiving Beast mess, also caught tossing Trig’s dirty pamper in the waistbin. $10 Fine, and No Soup For U! Off With Her Head!
@9
Well at least the Brooklyn bridge is a whole bridge whereas the Bridge to Nowhere was only a half bridge refudiated by a half governor.
Thanks but no thanks.
Have you seen her cameo on “Secret Life of the American Teenager”? At least in the clip with The Situation she’s learned the magic of intonation.
Sweet Jeebus, that is wonderful. The tit shimmy…the open mouth…the tongue movement. This must be how she lured Levi into the back seat of the Camaro.
Don’t get any ideas Mr.T. Stick to Shakira’s ass.
I think she’s a fine actress, a talented dancer and just as cute as a bug. You people are being horrid and mean.
And from The Kenosha Kid @ 17, we know she’s also a flag waver. [c’mon, don’t tell me you weren’t staring there too}
Funny you should mention that, because she reminds me of an ape in a mating ritual in that dance. And it wasn’t even the one where she dressed up like a monkey.
MY EYES! MY EYES!
DWTS came after her? It was her choice? “…I was ready to get out of my comfort zone and try something new and challenging.”? Mama Grizzly had nothing to do with it…?
Hmmm. There is a twit at the link below from Miss Five Colleges where she claims, “I FOUND A TV JOB for my unwed teen mom daughter (w/o GED!) but the US Govt can’t can’t solve unemployment?”
Maybe someone should take this pithy little screech to heart: “So how about, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit making things up?”
http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/inexplicable_i_do_not_think_that_word_means_what_you_think_it_means/
That ain’t fat, it’s BABY fat!