With the State of the Union address just around the corner where President Obama will give America a choice between the forced imposition of sharia law or ending the BCS (win-win America, choose wisely!), Republicans have chosen doe-eyed, painfully sincere math-nerd Paul Ryan to give the response, probably sitting in a big comfy chair and wearing a cardigan while explaining to America that our economic problems can be only solved by making some hard choices like, say, oh, I don’t know, maybe killing all the poors and letting the middle class take their place and get pissed on by the rich.

So, basically the Republican platform.

But because Ryan believes in math and other voodoo-science things that are anathema to Jeebus people, baby harvestser Michele Bachmann has offered to step into the breach and explain it (“it” being the onrushing End Times unless the nubian is consigned back to the fiery pits of hell-Kenya from whence he came) to America in that Minnesota-nice glossolalia of hers (close captioning available, ask your cable operator).

Republicans announced Friday that Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan would deliver the party’s official rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union next week, but Rep. Michele Bachmann has planned a response of her own.

The Tea Party Express sent an email to supporters Friday that said Bachmann will give a response after the president’s address to be broadcast on their website.

For Bachmann, who unsuccessfully tried to join GOP House leadership after the 2010 elections, the rebuttal could be seen as another sign of her presidential ambitions. She has said repeatedly she wants to “repeal” Obama in 2012.

Unfortunately for her the State of the Union and the response are public services announcements and thus, are carried by the major networks free of charge, while the Bachmann response doesn’t qualify and is instead a teevee show programmed by Jesus talking in Bachmann’s head ( 6:00PM Joel Osteen Ministries …  6:30PM Bachmann SOTU Response …  7:00PM Two And A Half Men … then a Law Order SVU marathon) so she will have to find someone to sponsor it.

Probably Goldline and Hoveround and six or seven of the Koch brothers front organizations because it will appeal to the all important 64 to Going Towards The Light, Will Believe Any Shit They Hear demographic.