A grown man wrote that for other adults? Embarrassing, or should be.

The jelly beans … represented the uniqueness and greatness of America

Yes, fine choice of icon!

The “stupid” is strong in this one, Obi Wan.

In United States slang in the 1910s and early 1920s a “Jelly bean” or “Jellybean” was a young man who made great efforts to dress very stylishly, presumably to attract women, but had little else to recommend him; similar to the older terms dandy and fop and the slightly later drugstore cowboy. However, the word was also used as a synonym for pimp. – Wikipedia

The ingredients of Jelly Beans – sugar, corn syrup and starch – make up the diet of the average American who is obese and perpetually sick. Without food colouring and flavouring, the basic jelly bean is the shade of the Republican Party. Jaundiced white.

Nice choice, Ben.

I can count to potatoe!

They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony.

So did he throw out the licorice-flavored ones or what?

What’s fun about Dan Quayle’s quote is trying to imagine any possible situation in which there weren’t more trees than forests.

Their minds operate on a different level, these people. I think it’s the sub-basement.

Ben wants to remind us that what qualifies him to be where he is, is the fact that he is a member of the lucky sperm club.

Clearly, no other qualifications exist.

For Republicans, jellybeans are the perfect metaphor for America. Because no one really likes the black ones.

Screw that — my favorites are the black jelly beans, but I’m a solid jaundiced white (thank you, Lesley; when I start my own band at the retirement home, that’s *so* going to be our nom de rock). I think his metaphor just curled up and died like one of those curled up dead things.

a Quayle might someday marry a Palin

No! You mock, but w/ Bristolboard now a homeowner in AZ, i.e., in same state as Ben Q., your doomsday prophecy is halfway to completion.

What’s fun about Dan Quayle’s quote is trying to imagine any possible situation in which there weren’t more trees than forests.

That’d be a kelp forest.
In other words, their minds are under-water.

First I thought the movie “Forrest Gump” was entertaining fiction.

Then I thought it was a documentary.

Now I think it is a prophesy.

Humanity is doomed.

It is very possible that a Quayle might someday marry a Palin resulting a super-race who communicate using a complex mélange of guttural grunts, clicks, and dropped g’s.

And able to survive on an exclusive diet of crystal meth, corn syrup and shattered dreams. They will own Heartland America.

“Then will come the aliens with their plans “To Serve Dumb Man” as has been foretold in the Book of Serling.”

Reminds me of that other TBogg classic — “OMG! To Serve Whitey is a Cookbook!”

Palin/Quayle—evidence of the devolution of mankind. Back to the black swamp we go.

Where do the Rs find these people? That is just jaw-dropping stupid.

The Ronald Reagan Centennial 50-Flavor Gift Box

In celebration of the 100th birthday of President Ronald Reagan, Jelly Belly proudly presents this one-of-a-kind gift box.
The beautifully designed box includes all 50 Official Flavors of the 40th president’s favorite candy (he ate no other brand of jelly bean), as well as two 11” x 14” posters, one featuring a timeline of Ronald Reagan’s historic life, and one featuring some of his most inspirational quotes. Also included is a reproduction of the Declaration of Independence.
http://www.jellybelly.com/shop/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=95002

Knuckle dragging stupid, even…! ;-)

That’s so wretched, Peggy Noonan just heaved up a gallon of pre-mixed martinis upon reading it.

Quotes like:

“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.”

“If we ever forget that we’re one nation under God, then we will be one nation gone under.”

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”

“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.”

“I’ve heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?”

America deserves every fuck’n bit of it!

For myself, I’m going to Mt. Shasta to wait for the crystal ships, suckahs!

I was having an insomniac night last night. I probably picked the wrong “Reagan Legacies reiterations” litany to lull myself to sleep. Because I remembered the biggest, baddest of all the bad shit Reagan forced on my life as a citizen of California, as a child of the Aerospace Age” immigrants” we were from the Midwest.. He didn’t just take Cal’s education system from #1 to # 10. He didn’t just collapse the health services to the point where we went from a compassionate system[in Cal.] that cared for our severely disabled to a “let them sweer their shit on walls” in 3 years……I was a candy-striper volunteering for Education Credits at the time.
No, Ronnie’s biggest Fuck You America was the deregulation that allowed/required Toxic Fly ash from the incinerators to be turned into our concrete. Every sidewalk, every playground. Fly ash is the finest of the ashes. Scraped off the top screens in a toxic burner.
I found this out because I was working in concrete and fly ash is the important ingredient that allows for elasticity. I got mine from Mt. St. Helens, cuz I knew better. All the rest of society is shit out of luck.

As the concrete guys said,” Every time you have shit you don’t know what to do with, you want to dump it into our concrete.”
How many taxpayers’ dollars went into glorifying this fucker?. It makes me clearer visioned watching Dems genuflect.

It makes me clearer visioned watching Dems genuflect.

But you’re implying that the Dems even have the ability to genuflect…!

It is very possible that a Quayle might someday marry a Palin resulting a super-race who communicate using a complex mélange of guttural grunts, clicks, and dropped g’s.

Also.

Yup. This acorn didn’t fall far from the tree, if you’re trying to build a forest.

They don’t mix metaphors so much a puree them.

i cant believe people actually voted for this dunce…………..dang

“When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House.

And when he said, “the bombing begins in five minutes” we laughed and clapped our hands. What a kind and funny man!

Oh, I’m watching them right now, this week. They’re Union Busting, Racial Profiling in Washington state. Give ‘em a fucking dry wafer and watch them go through the motions!!!!!
[not sure if that made sense]
I’m righteously indignant!!

When I was a child we did “duck and cover” drills in school because the Communists might atom bomb the world. Cuban Crisis.
I was labeled “too smart for her own good” because at 8 I questioned the logic. :]

Or a series of jelly bean forests, in which some of the forests contain only one jelly bean. And some, none. How true that is.

Actually the part about how Saint Uncle Ronnie handed out jelly beans and “only later did I realize that the soft multicolored objects we were encouraged to chew up and devour represented the voters of this great land” is pretty spectacular all by itself.

People voted for this dolt? Must’ve cost a lot.

Game, set, match. It’s over.

Did he procreate? Where’s John Yoo when you need him??

Didn’t they glue the black ones to the bottom of the bag?

To Serve Man, what a pity. If it hadn’t taken so long to translate more than the title, the knowledge that the aliens’ book was a menu and not a bible might have kept the best and the brightest off that spaceship – and our compatriots from supporting a political movement that finds Quayle, Bachmann and Palin intellectually exciting, personally responsible and emotionally deep.

Free Jelly Beans?

THAT’S SOCIALISM!11!11!1!1one!11!!

The kids should have had to PAY for those. No wonder America is turning into a Welfare Society, when even the President rewards those Jellfare Queens!

Sidebar: Why’s that “Amazing Specials” ad here (on the right margins)? Atlantis/Paradise Islands/Bahamas? The dolphin, a captured creature, needs to be free. It looks like the animal is smiling with the models portraying a family of idiots, but it is not. Does anybody else care about this? At FDL I should hope for better. Stop this!!!!!!

I’ve never thought of the Tales.Of.Ronnie in the form of a type of “Ronny Horror Picture Show” until you came along, Tbogg, so it’s all your fault. /s_gentler_version

The bewildered young Daniel quailed as the wizened Ronaldstein roughly shoved the “beans” toward him. “Here,” the old one intoned. “Pick one. It doesn’t have to be … black.” Bwa Ha Ha Ha!

Then will come the aliens with their plans “To Serve Dumb Man” as has been foretold in the Book of Serling.

I preferred the Simpson’s interpretation of this classic!

Some of us didn’t get any jelly beans. I’ll never forget Reagan’s much-ballyhooed tax cut because my income taxes went up — along with those of other low-income Americans.

*&(^%%$#**#@%!* The ad with the captive dolphin is now more prominently placed! What is wrong with you people? Please, don’t support this at FDL.

Mikey. Relax. The ads are part of something called “remnants” which are arbitrarily embedded in blogs that accept advertising, sometimes in response to which sites the reader has visited. I sometimes get ads for the Latter Day Saints, go figure. We have no control over it. If it offends you, don’t click it.

I went to DalaiLama.Com and clicked on it, so either all the ads will go blank out of script coding confusion or we’ll all get better “remnants.”

“…..accept advertising, sometimes in response to which sites the reader has visited….”

So that’s why the ads I see here feature Shakira’s ass.

Yes, you are are the master of your destiny!

Get Adblock Plus. It works for me.

Yeah, but it makes the bassets cry when tbogg can’t afford replacement slippers and chair legs at the end of the month.

I had to learn not to look at the ads too hard. It’s all good. We know what we know.

a super-race who communicate using a complex mélange of guttural grunts, clicks, and dropped g’s.

That’s not what the U.S. population is now?

Thanks for the link to the Quayle quotes. Only after listening to George Bush a couple of times did I realize what his father saw in Dan Quayle. Also, the possibility of a union between Bristol Palen and Ben Quayle gives rise to an interesting question concerning what they might name any offspring.

“Reagan is eulogized endlessly as the “Great Communicator.” This is the moniker bestowed on him by a media controlled by rich philistines who enjoyed hearing their self-serving platitudes mouthed by the president. The typical Reagan speech was a mixture of hokum, bunkum, flapdoodle and balderdash of the type dished out daily by motivational speakers, along with mashed potatoes and turgid chicken breasts, at countless business luncheons in the Marriotts, Hyatts and Hiltons of America. The same sort of language turned Warren Harding—the 29th President who most resembles Reagan, in both physical appearance and intellectual capacity—into a national laughing stock…”
http://www.wsws.org/articles/2011/feb2011/reag-f07.shtml

But — I’ll bet — not of your domain if you’ve been watching Shakira’s ass.

I’m righteously indignant!!

This is a line I wish I had written. Yes, you are, ope (may I call you ope?), and it becomes you. (It is also something no wingnut blogger, columnist, or commenter would ever, ever have the self-awareness and sense of humor to write. If you must know.)

That Quayle quote about the forests is a tesseract of metaphor. It not only doesn’t make sense, it consumes itself and re-emerges as something that doesn’t make sense, either.

so you deny this blog supports dolphin bondage slash fiction?

This is the moniker bestowed on him by a media controlled by rich philistines who enjoyed hearing their self-serving platitudes mouthed by the president. The typical Reagan speech was a mixture of hokum, bunkum, flapdoodle and balderdash of the type dished out daily by motivational speakers, along with mashed potatoes and turgid chicken breasts, at countless business luncheons in the Marriotts, Hyatts and Hiltons of America.

Ha! Somebody’a jonesin’ for a Mencken takedown of Reagan.

They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony.

Doesn’t this kind of suggest an image of eating a big handful of jellybeans all at once? Otherwise they wouldn’t collectively blend into anything. Does anyone do that?

Am I going crazy, or is the illustration different from the one here when the post went up?

(some of the comments at Politico are none too complimentary of the younger Quayle’s writing skill, either)

That shit’s cheap compared to Fbogg’s therapy sessions….

I made that point over at BJ. I’ve done that. It’s nasty and horrible and disgusting. Quayle the Younger is an idiot.

I sure hope you plan to write the songs for Solid Jaundiced White, ’cause that’s the best meta-metaphor I’ve read all day.

Oh, great goddess Eris passionately embroiled with the FSM, if only that could happen.