Because I want to help the producers of Galt!: The Musical I slapped a little something together…

I am the very model of a modern major industrialist
You people call me selfish, but I prefer ‘objectivist”
The looters and the moochers, they try to take what is mine
To share my genius with others, I’m afraid I must decline

I’m very well acquainted, too, with things that should be taxable
But I will not pay my fair share and on this I am intractable
Push me just a bit too far and I’ll head to Gulch of Galt
Your world will start to fall apart and it will be your fault

[chorus]
Your world will start to fall apart and it will be your fault
He’s packing up his bags and he’s going to Gulch of Galt
You people are annoying and it’s harshing his gestalt

I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
Sometimes I get my numbers wrong, I think I’ll blame it on gastri-atis
You people don’t deserve me, I will not share my brain
So I’m leaving Moocherville on my private choo-choo train

[chorus]
He’s leaving Moocherville on his private choo-choo train
He does not like the likes of you, on his parade you will not rain
He’s not a social butterfly, on this he must abstain

It’s not that people don’t love me, I don’t want to be a brag-ag-art
I’ve got a bitchin’ girlfriend and her name is Dagny Tag-ag-art
We have a lot of rough sex, that girl she loves to bone
But when it comes to orgasms, she has to reach hers on her own

My philosophy is workable, they call me Libertarian
I actually have no talent so I write for Reason Hit & Run
Were I to leave for Galt Gulch, I’m not sure that I’d be missed
So in the meantime I’m a mouth piece for a wealthy industrialist

[chorus]
In the meantime he’s a mouth piece for a wealthy industrialist
It’s really not his first choice but he is a realist
Thank God he has a good idea whose ass he is has to kiss

I am the very model of a modern major industrialist
You people call me selfish, but I prefer ‘objectivist”
The looters and the moochers, they try to take what’s mine
To share my genius with others, I’m afraid I must decline

This is what happens when my wife leaves me alone on a Saturday night while she goes on a pub crawl…

Also. Too. Gilbert & Sullivan? Sorry dudes…