James Pethoukoukis begins his Love Song to Sarah Palin, Ice Goddess Warrior Princess of The North with an unfortunate opening sentence:
Sarah Palin rides to the sound of the guns.
…and then proceeds to go Bulwer-Lytton on a Red Bull & Cialis binge about that quittin’ gal that he just can’t quit:
It was a chilly, wet and blustery afternoon in Madison, Wisconsin — one more appropriate for a late-season Packers game than a springtime political rally. The stirring NFL Films theme, “The Classic Battle,” would’ve been a more apt musical choice than Van Halen’s “Right Now” to accompany Palin as she entered the stage outside the state capital building to address thousands of Tea Party members, along with a good number of extremely hostile, expletive-hurling government union rowdies.
Let’s stop here and compare “thousands” to “a good number”:
According to Capitol police, about 6,500 attended the rallies. Officials could not say which was bigger, mainly because the counter-rally protesters spent as much time jeering the tea party event as they did listening to their own speakers. Most observers agreed, however, that both crowds seemed roughly equal in size.
But never mind that, let’s let Pethoukoukis describe how Sarah Palin crushed her enemies, drove them before her, and heard the lamentations of their women over her own screechy ice-picks-in-the-eardrums voice:
But all it took was one powerful, pugnacious and presidential speech — just 15 minutes long — for Palin to again make herself completely relevant to the current political and policy battles raging across America.
She waded forcefully into the state’s white-hot battle over government union power, giving her full-throated support to Gov. Scott Walker:
[...]
Then, perfectly capturing the real-time mood of the conservative grassroots, Palin scorched the ever-shrinking budget deal negotiated by congressional Republicans.
[...]
She then urged Washington Republicans to take a page from the national champion University of Wisconsin women’s hockey team and “learn how to fight like a girl.”
[...]
She defended, to great cheering, Wisconsin’s own Paul Ryan from the president’s blindside attack on his bold budget plan.
[...]
That line about fighting like a girl, as well as her “Game on!” declaration will surely reignite speculation about presidential plans. And understandably so.
[...]
If she ran, her high-wattage appearance in Madison shows just how dangerous her candidacy would be to a field of solid but stolid opponents.
[...]
So MSM, keep obsessing over the shiny new Trump toy if you must. But better keep an eye on a certain sharpshooting, grizzly mama. She’s back.
Spoken like a man aching for a pegging.
(Oh… look it up)




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The crowd gave her every bit of the respect she deserves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en7Jw72XKyI
Priapism and intelligent political commentary really don’t mix. I’m really not sure why Palin : Male conservatives :: Megan Fox : Frat boys, but it’s an established fact that I assume has starts with “She has 5 kids, so she must love to fuck”.
I do look forward to this behavior being future analyzed and categorized here.
I for one support anything “for Palin to again make herself completely relevant to the current political and policy battles raging across America.” Granted, the GOP primaries are already going to be entertaining beyond our wildest imaginations with Pawlenty, Trump and the rest of the Fail Brigade out in force. But for sheer “mercy me, this is too good to be true” pay-per-view goodness, we need Sarah at her best.
(Okay, that picture gives me the creepin’ heebie-jeebies. What, for the love of God, is going on between her legs? It looks like Newt Gingrich’s soul slithering around trying to find a new home)
I saw that too, and wondered if it were some kind of afterbirth related gorp that the crazy Prosperity Jesus Clan would worship, because…well…because they are just that fucking crazy.
Maybe she should put it in a jar and show it to Trig when he becomes a teenager.
giving her
fulldeep-throated support to Gov. Scott WalkerFixed for accuracy.
I think that’s supposed to be her loincloth. Either that, or she’s hung a cut of veal between her legs.
Best post title of the week!
Drove me to Teh Great Gazoogle over “pegging.” Okey-dokey, there, cowboy… So where, exactly, do you keep the brain bleach?
Pegging explains the weird artifact between her legs. Keeping it warm for later use.
Tehanu, agreed. One of the best TBogg pun-post titles evah! BANG! (chicka…chicka..chicka…)
And I wanna see “Palin The Barbarian” as actual comic. Ideally, the guy who wrote “Howard The Duck” (name escapes me–oh, Steve Gerber, I think? who now that I mention it is, I think, dead) would script. And R. Crumb’d draw it.
Her candidacy would indeed be dangerous – to the future of the Republican Party. I can only say, “Go for it, Goopers, go for it!”
Also, does anyone have a super jumbo size barrel of the ultra industrial strength brain bleach so I can deal with that image at the top of the post?
Who’s this Sarah Palin? I kind of remember her. Did she have a show on Nickleodeon or TV Land?
Sarah Palin rides to the sound of the guns.
Unfortunately, she can’t shoot worth a damn.
At this point – especially given the additional presence of Michelle Bachmann and The Donald in the Gooper primary race – I’m with thingwarbler @3 and DrDick @11.
Moar journamaljizm liek this, pleez!
I keep misreading Trump as Turnip…
That’s not misreading, mag. I prefer to think of it as “finding a deeper truth.”
OT, but important (IMO)
Fix the deficit. Let the Bush Tax Cuts Expire.
There. You have your bumper sticker.
Go forth, and testify. Amen!!
I am determined to post this as often as I can in my Internets-Adventures and am asking you to join me. America listens to sound bytes, and does not take time to hear well reasoned debates. This is a ready made sound byte, and it happens to be true. Short. Sweet. To the point. If it starts a conversation, so much the better. But a good meme needs to be sown, before it will grow. Consider yourselves a modern day Johnny Appleseed, saving Granny from destitution and the neighbors disabled kid from a life of guaranteed heartache.
Take pride in being a Bleeding Heart Liberal and spread the word: Fix the deficit. Let the Bush Tax Cuts Expire.
Might I suggest a small change?
Fix the deficit – Let the Bush Tax Cuts Expire.
This links the 2 issues more closely. Periods after each make them look like 2 different ideas. I know you know the difference, but you’re talking about an idea that is apparently hard to understand for the people who need to figure this out.
Hey, any mainstream writer that whats to fluff Palin’s campaign is OK by me. I want to see her as the Republican nomination.
‘Pegging’ is exactly what Pethokoukis is fantasizing about, for real. Van Hagar’s “Right Now” insufficiently epic, only the NFL Films theme music will do? Why stop there, why not “The Ride of the Valkyries”?
Veni,veni,veni is more like it.
These guys are pathetic. She’s utterly unelectable, roundly disliked, and yet listen to him. For why, you don’t have to read any further than the headline:
in fact you can stop at the fourth word, but first translate it into English.
owlbear @21 Damn. One minute.
Palin and her supporters can’t be heard above the booing. According to one commenter on Starburstcolumnist’s page, only a few hundred tea party people showed up.
here’s another video:
Sarah Palin and tea baggers outnumbered
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCy39354BR0
Booing Breitbart at the same rally
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBoXMR2FDQE
Peg…. it will come back to you.
I miss Wisconsin. Seriously, you and Minnesota make me miss America so much.
But, but, T… Ya left out Breitbart’s magna opus…
Leftist Thugs Taunt, Harass and Insult Black Tea Party Member…
*heh* With some Harriet Beecher Stowe tossed in for good measure…! ;-)
Btw, Breitbart was a tad bit miffed…
TrumkaObama Agitators Scream, Blow Whistles, Make Obscene Gestures During Palin Speech…
Sarah is the hillbilly version of Ayn Rand.
Don’t tell me, let me guess: Somewhere in the back of James Pethoukouki’s twisted little mind, he thinks he’s gonna get his knob polished by a Mama Grizzly.
Fuckin’ idiot drooling over a Fuckin’ idiot.
Water seeks its own level…
I zoooooooooooooomed in!
That’s an albino nutria. Mind you, the women nutria folk have nipples on their backs for feeding while swimming/lounging at the watering hole, but this happens to be a male.
Nutria are tricky little devils. The male folk readily mate with old sardine cans and moldy musk melons when the North Star is positioned just right of Uranus as this illustration properly illustrates.
It looks like a foot. An icy dead foot.
Who needs YouTube? In stores now, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” on DVD!
It proves she is actually a member of the clam family. The thing is known as her “foot.” (see bottom image).
I’ve known about that drawing since 2008, but have never used it for a post at my blog, because it is icky.
That’s how they lure in their prey, pretending to be an icy, dead foot.
And I’ll bet she loves it because it gives her six-pack abs.
Thats how they got the dog to play with her as a child.
“It was a dark and stormy knight…”
The remnant of a loin cloth, stretched from overuse.
Reminds me of a conversation between two actresses who spent a lot of time in the water: Maureen O’Sullivan, a famous Jane for Weismuller’s Tarzan, and Esther Williams, famous for her water ballets in a host of 1950′s musicals. They were reminiscing about former Olympian (67 world record swims) Johnny Weismuller.
Williams was gently complaining that Tarzan kept wanting to show her what he had under his loin cloth. O’Sullivan, mother of Mia Farrow, recalled similar confrontations. “How did you handle it?” asked Williams. “I let him,” replied O’Sullivan.
The knife, of course, is just a knife.
Sort of like the crosshairs were just surveyor’s markers.
You are always a joy, truly.
So sad…a dweeb smitten…a very sad thing.
Yes, it DOES look like a dead foot. In fact, it is a specialized appendage, designed to lure FOX News ‘Democrat’ Dick Morris. Once Mr. Morris has approached, settled in, and completed a softball interview, the Snookisaurus will unhinge its jaw and consume Mr. Morris.
I hope none of you are judgmental about this; it is all part of Nature’s Plan.
You forgot to boldface “full-throated.”
And if it was Fatty McBristol it’d be a full 18 pack.
It’s part of the circle of life.