Yes, McMegan…extra falafels, loofahs, diapers, wide stances, Capitol Hill page boys, and a hike down the Appalachian Trail for you and your better half tonight!

That’s odd. My calender says tomorrow night is “that night”. Tonight is the night when I get praised for almost remembering to wear my pants all day long…

Is that what kids are calling it these days?

What, “his Himalayan pink salt-encrusted Ham & Cheese Hot Pocket”?

Gawd I hope not. Hot sex talk for yuppie foodies is one thing, but just the sheer amount of syllables involved in that one would mean you’d be there for days.

Later on tonight, the people that live next door to the McSudermans will wonder why Peter keeps screaming “Green balloons!” over and over.

Meanwhile, Suderman, knowing McMegan’s 1 + 1′s, is sexting to his little heart’s content….

No, McSuderman’s cell phone is dark and quiet, with only numbers across the screen.

His calculator on the other hand, has got a pic of full-on frontal as wallpaper.

Poor McMegan. The dullest knife in the drawer.

Gah. What’s their safe word? “Eiizabeth Warren”? “Reardon Steel”?

But of course Megan has it a lot easier than her grandmother, who had to use castor oil and bailing wire to get her hubby up and at ‘em…

Poor guy, it must be kind of demoralizing being married to someone who believes that the average is 600 inches long.

So it’s OK if the pics aren’t identifiable?

You know, I saw a container of pink, himalayan salt on sale at Big Lots the other day. Couldn’t bring myself to spend the $1.50.

Actually, that would be “baling” wire.

“Bailing wire” is what Dominique Strauss-Kahn sends to his lawyers when he needs to get out of jail in a hurry.

Grammar police, re: “Himalayan pink salt-encrusted Ham & Cheese Hot Pocket”

Is that correct? Or should it be:

“Himalayan, pink, salt-encrusted Ham & Cheese Hot Pocket”

or,

“Himalayan pink, salt-encrusted Ham & Cheese Hot Pocket”?

Megan’s Himalayan pink Pocket kinda scares me.

Beat me to it. Maybe it is because we have the MB initials in common. As long as you can’t be identified in the photo then it’s all good? How about you don’t do it at all if you are in a committed relationship? Especially if you are a high profile person like a US Congressman or Senator? Of course, David Vitter is still a Senator even though he likes his prostitute to diaper him. Must be a Republican thing.

Of course, on the internet no one knows that you are a dog.

Since Weiner never actually met these people, I am waiting for one of them to turn out to be an old, Republican male. Or Wembley.

I used to see pink salt. It was in these big blocks that farmers left out for the cows to lick. I suppose some entrepreneur has bought a few licks and chips off a bit when he sees Megan coming toward the shop.