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Although it would be easy to give all the credit to Andrew Breitbart and his Merry Band of Breitards for saving America from unfettered Congressional penis spam flying willy-nilly about the internets, special thanks should be given to intrepid blogger Ace O’ Spades who went 24/7 dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick while the rest of America was going to work, falling in love, hanging out with friends, growing old, and,along with God and Bobby Goldsboro, watching Scotty grow . Never one for doing anything half-assed when full-assed was called for, Ace rode the Weiner penis story, and he rode it hard.
What makes this so special is that Ace has previously maintained a somewhat strained, one might say adversarial, relationship with genitalia of the human variety. In fact there was a time when he was completely unconcerned with whatever shenanigans played out in the lower latitudes:
Who Gives A Rat’s Ass: Sen. David Vitter Implicated In DC Madam’s Phone Records, Apologies For Error In His Past
Eh. The only thing that will ruin you is being caught with a dead girl or live boy.
No one’s claiming the escorts are dead.
Ergo, I don’t care.
[...]
But seriously, what causes this? Well, first, normal human nature. Including humans’ drives to act in selfish but self-destructive ways. A strong dose of arrogance (most of the people in Washington have never, ever lost a single campaign for office — that’s how they got to Washington!) verging on believing they’re untouchable only compounds that. Someone who’s never really had to pay for bad behavior will be inclined to commit more bad behavior.
Toss in the general low ethics and morality of DC and buddy system of politicians protecting each other and even recommending whores to each other and you’ve got a Sex Panther level stink of licentiousness and entitlement.
But really, who cares? It’s his wife’s and family’s problem, not mine. It’s time to MoveOn.org.
I guess this is what the kids mean when they say, “Pics or it didn’t happen“….
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I clicked the first dick, I dick clicked the—aw, fuck it, I navigated my way over to Ace of Spades and the first thig I saw under “Recent Comments” was:
jewells45: “Berserker… prayers are with you and your mama. …”
Insomniac: “Very sorry about your mom, Berserker. If I cou …”
I mean, c’mon, this is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Was there a certain type of genitalia he didn’t feel adversial towards? Say, of the plastic or Fleshlight variety?
It is hard to miss how aroused a picture of a dick in boxer-briefs has gotten Republicans.
It’s not exactly black silk and lace….
Those comments from Ace of Spades re: Vitter – If that does not perfectly define the acronym IOKIYAR then I do not know what does.
It really does belong in the OED.
ETA: How can you use an apostrophe without getting three forward slashes in a row? I hate the formally of do not, does not, etc.
It just shows in preview that way – it actually posts to the page correctly.
At least Weiner isn’t made of playdoh and bacon like Ace’s typical date.
Yet another illustration of “IOKIYAR”…screw these people, they are really becoming parodies of themselves. Let’s ALL stop taking them seriously….
Thanks. Let’s see. ;-)
And it does. Thanks again.
Well, if any of these people had to argue policy instead they’d be screwed, no pun intended. Because you know, “Vouchers, now with more Wolverines” may be the breakfast of champions in Washington, but it doesn’t sell in Peoria.
@UncertaintyVicePrincipal…It probably isn’t selling here, although our magazine cover idol Congressman Aaron Schock is totally in favor of it.
Remember, folks:
Sexting consenting adults: Bad (IYAD).
Being “Customer of the Year” at all the best brothels in both DC and New Orleans: Good, especially if you made your career as a family values guy (IOKIYAR).
Enough with the penis’ already. Let’s see some boobies!
To hell with boobies!
Time for Shakira’s ass!!
I like the Target ad about broccoli…. and basset hounds…..
As opposed to ‘woman penis’?
Target sells basset hounds these days? Same isle as hush puppies?
Time for Ace to join up with the Log Cabin boys. He’s Gay and he hates himself. He qualifies.
Hey now…leave Ann Coulter out of this.
That’s because they’re NOT GAY. Although it might have something to do with the old adage that nobody is as enthusiastic as a recent convert. A recent Definitely Not Gay convert.