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You may remember Christine O’Donnell, the former senatorial candidate and babbling hirsute abstinence-witch from Delaware. Yeah. Remember her? Well, anyway, Christine, who will be appearing on many serious political cable talk shows in a few months because she has a book coming out (and also because PETA gets all pissy when Hannity has on that smoking chimp, so, you know, call Christine for the lulz), is live twitter-twatting the very important Republican presidential debate tonight so her fellow Real Americans can devote their short attention spans to NHL hockey (it’s a “sport” of some kind) or that one episode of House where a seemingly random event at the 49-minute mark causes Dr. House to have an epiphany and he saves the patient. Hurray!
Anyway, let’s get started with Christine:
The excitement builds… who will capture the coveted Christine O’Donnell Unemployable Semi-Virgin Deadbeat endorsement?
Oh, looks like we have a winner!
There you have it, America. Go back to sleep. Karen Santorum is your next President.
Bet you didn’t see that coming….
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she’s gonna wanna ditch that last name. It’s got issues.
Karen Santorum, eh? Time for Dan Savage to hold another naming contest.
My suggestion: The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that sometimes gets wiped on a light blue jacket.
When it comes to the twatterverse, Christine and K-Lo are a match. That last tweet is pretty much what K-Lo rattles off only with more drunken typos.
So that’s the takeaway headline?
“Blue Suit Good For Santorum”
Even Linda Tripp would tell her to wash that out.
So does Mrs. Anal Sex Byproduct also “love” teh gays? And was she just “with” them, like her hubby?
Living vicariously through light blue jackets can’t be healthy.
Full of win!
I think Chrissy O: is smitten with/by* Cap’n Pizza
*bi?
Is there a link to the “hirsute” description?
Here, I think.
What’s she doing for cash these days, anyhow? That sweet Teabagger income must have dried up by now.
Karen got Santorum all over her nice blue jacket? I think white wine is the preferred cleansing agent according to professionals in the know.
Can anyone believe that a girl can party with Satanists on Halloween on a bloody altair and
1) still be a Virgin?
2) Was not high as a kite? Show any girl I knew in high school real blood sober and she would leave that was a given even the guys who tortured cats would worry about their Reps if they took a girl to a picnic on a bloody altair.
3) Not be a Witch…the bad kind the kind that votes GOP and lives in a gingerbread house waiting for Hansel and Gretle.
House has been pre-empted by Master Chef for part of the summer, so we’ll have to settle for an abusive chef instead of an abusive doctor. (Still love your description, though.)
Rick’s Bitch Scratches Witch’s Itch. Gingrich Careens Into Ditch.
Film at 11. Also. Wiener’s Penis.
Can’t we just get this over with and let her pick the next President? I mean, it couldn’t be any worse than SCOTUS doing the picking.
“It couldn’t get any worse” – a slope we’ve been slipping down since 11/4/80. Sad to say, but it doesn’t feel like we’ve bottomed out yet.
i’m okay with karen. Christine should throw herself off the nearest bridge, but Karen has suffered enough.
ha, ha, Hat, you win!
Now, I watch House and enjoy it, but even as a layman I realize that most of the diagnoses are bullshit that could have been eliminated by earlier testing that they did in the show. But never mind.
Those dramatic epiphanies do tend to bug me. I question the ability of even the most brilliant mind to be simultaneously talking and thinking of what they are saying (using the language/speech center of their brains) AND suddenly put together something entirely separate that is percolating in their subconscious. In mid-sentence! It drives me crazy when they do that.
It doesn’t happen that way in real life. There is always a pause between speaking about one subject (or listenting with attention) and a sudden mental breakthrough on another subject. Or it all happens entirely non-verbally, like Archimedes in the bathtub. He wasn’t talking when he noticed the water being displaced by his body, trust me. He saw it. He thought about it for at least a moment. And THEN he said “Eureka!” — afterward.
Those sudden subconscious breakthroughs happen in a moment of mind-silence, not while you’re nattering away. The nattering may set it up, may help you make the connection, but you have to suspend your conscious attention from other things to get the “aha!”
Whoops. Long off topic post. I forgot where I was for a minute.
And me with no joke handy. Damn.
But as commercial breaks become imbedded into real life (via your brain-implanted, location-aware iDevice) we will all evolve into TV characters who must have our epiphanies mid-sentence.
I find that before I have a regular verbal thought, there’s a little bubble of mentation that says the same thing. I think I could save time by not bothering with the second one, but I do it anyway and annoy myself.
Luckily, this inner conflict either doesn’t show itself to the outside world or nobody cares. Probably the latter. (“Probably… the…”)