’I’ll make a place between my legs, I’ll teach you solitude.’ – Leonard Cohen

Because I was VERY BUSY WITH OTHER THINGS over the weekend, I missed the fact that failed filmaker/radio personality/human being John Ziegler decided to publicly break up with his internet girlfriend Sarah Louise Heath Palin and now he is telling the world, or at least the infinitesimally tiny sliver of the world that reads Tucker Carlson’s Weakly Reader, that Sarah is not all that and a bag of moose chips.

…in spite of being approached by Sarah’s husband Todd only a month ago and specifically discussing the possibility, I won’t be working on any Palin presidential campaign. Why? Well, first of all, contrary to what geniuses like Andrew Sullivan and Howard Dean may want you to believe, there is absolutely no way that she can be elected. I’ve told this to her directly; more than once. While many pundits mistakenly think what she is doing is some Trump-like PR stunt, I’m pretty convinced she is running and in doing so will damage the prospects of any conservative defeating Barack Obama in 2012.

These aren’t my only concerns.

There’s also the fact that Sarah’s entire operation is increasingly managed like a CIA field office; that she’s adopted a bunker mentality; that she’s trusting the wrong people, some of whom I know are simply exploiting her. As a result, even those most loyal to her get tossed under the bus, with little or no effort to avoid the collateral damage. Which raises the question: if people like me who would once have taken a bullet for Sarah (and at least figuratively I did many times) can’t get behind her any more, what the hell happened?

It could be that people are starting to realize that she is a that most dangerous of Americans: white trash with money with the bonus of a  heapin’ helpin’ of narcissistic personality disorder, who would sell Trig to the Muslims for an extra fifteen minutes of fame before she is physically carried off the stage while clutching the curtains and screaming “I am America, you fuckers! Love meeeeeee..!!!!!“.

Then, Celebrity Rehab.

You can read everything that Ziegler did for her (he worked his fingers to the bone and what did he get in return? Bony fingers) in his extended whine, but this was my personal fave:

My relationship with Sarah hit another pothole early in 2010 when I advised her via e-mail that her upcoming speech to the Tea Party Convention in Nashville was creating controversy because the event was both expensive and for-profit.

She forwarded my message to her team, apparently forgetting to delete my address, with the comment, “If I have to suffer thru Ziegler’s e-mails, we ALL have to suffer thru.” Wow, that was a punch in the gut. Less than four minutes later, a panicked follow-up pinged into my Blackberry’s inbox: “John—pls [sic] know that was a joke! . . . you’re [sic] advice is very good, we have announced I will not be financially gaining from the speech, we need to get that word out there.” In other words, she’d acted on the message, but also made sure to take a pot shot at the messenger of bad news.

Yet Ziegler stayed with her because the not-sex was too good.

Now Ziegler has started up a new site TheSarahPalinIKnow.com where:

The controversial feature piece in on the Daily Caller website is just part of John Ziegler’s remarkable stash of untold stories from the past three years of documenting the media coverage of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin. There are still many explosive revelations to come, but for reasons that will eventually become clear, in order to view them when they soon become available you MUST provide your e-mail address in the slot below. We promise that you will never receive any spam!

Woo-hoo! FanFic! We can’t wait for “Me and Sarah Palin and the Long Lunch At Golden Corral” or “That Time She Called Me And I Had Just Stepped Out of The Shower And I  Was Naked” and, the soon to be very popular, “I Think I Saw Nipple Today”.

Poor John Ziegler… wanted to be her Boswell, looking more like Paul Snider.