I am taking time out from READING A BOOK, REMEMBER THOSE!!! to expand upon possibly the greatest vanity project since either The Room or Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work. I speak, of course, or Sarah Palin’s  movie: True Grift.

According to inadvertent political humor site, Politico:

The film opened in 10 mid-sized cities Friday and grossed about $70,000 for the weekend for a per-screen average of about $5,000, the distributor reported. Based on average U.S. ticket prices, that works out to a very rough estimate of less than 9,000 people paying to see “The Undefeated” in its first weekend.

Though the movie was panned by professional critics, audiences had a more positive reaction. In four markets — Phoenix, Atlanta, Denver and Indianapolis — the film was moved to a bigger room to accommodate crowds, and several showings were sold out, the distributor said.

Let’s do the math, m’kay?

Because we are generous (to a fault, I might add) we will round up to 9000 people attending the movie from Friday to Sunday. For the sake of simplicity we will divide those 9000 hard working salt of the earth common sense Americans equally between all ten cities (Grapevine Texas! Represent, yo!) for a total of…. 900 people per flyoverpodunkcraphole charming hamlet. Divided by three days makes…..hmm, 300 per day.

Now let’s be conservative and say that the film was shown at noon, 2:15, 4:30, 7:15, and 10PM, eliminating morning showings on the weekend (because Good Conservatives are at church) and midnight shows (because Good Conservatives have to to work in the morning). So we would take our 300 daily attendance, divide it by five (showings ) and we get… 60 people per showing.

60.

Sixty.

Which is how we arrive at headlines like this:

Also, too. Keep in mind that Politico arrives at 9000 tickets on $70,000 in sales which works out to $7.77 per ticket. Either I’m paying way too much for movies in my neighborhood, or that is a shit-ton of senior discount tickets.