Ouch indeed

The Second Coming.

(Of Guido Merkins.)

On ESPN I saw a clip of Tebow exhorting his teamates at halftime, “THIRTY MINUTES TO LIVE, MAN, THIRTY MINUTES TO LIVE!!!!!”

Some guys you’ll follow into battle anywhere, anytime (like, say, Aragorn, son of Arathorn), but after Timmy’s display my college football career would’ve ended right there and then.

Let us also ponder this Tebow fluffer from the Disneytown (East) newsrag, who believes that the Miami Dolphins should have tried to get Juicebox Jesus instead of Orton. After all, what Dolphins fans really want to pay huge amounts of money to see is their offense go three-and-out every time they touch the ball.

I swear, some sportswriters spent as much time in their college courses as the athletes they cover.

Mebbe Timmy just needs to PRAY HARDER!!!!! Wolverines!!!!!

We’re praying that your talent appears in time for the Parousia, Timmy. If not, there’s always that proselytizing gig you can fall back on just in case.

I’m betting God is just busy watching people starve to death in Africa and couldn’t be there to guide Tebow’s passes.

We’ve seen this movie before. It’s called “Rudy”.

I have the MLB Extra Innings package so I can watch out-of-town games (Braves fan living in NYC), and it appears that at least once per inning, the Rockies channel shows an ad for the Tim Tebow autobiography, all about how special he is, his family is, his religion is, etc., etc.

Funny how they never mention how special his NFL career is/will be.

go three-and-out every time they touch the ball

Getting all 3 plays in is considered a win given that JuiceBox may fumble the snap on first down or throw an interception on second. After all, if you’re running around like you’re being chased by bees, holding onto the ball becomes a distraction….

We do well to remember that Juicebox Jeebus (love that nick) was QB of the famed FU Gators, and fans of said Gators are all over the pressboxes of this nation. SEC, bitchez!

As Thom Brenneman pointed out to the rest of you unwashed heathens … “If you are fortunate enough to spend five minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it.”

He has H-back written all over him, and to be honest, considering how badly the Dolphins are gonna suck this year, trading for Tebow to run some wildcat formations may have worked.

What scares me is that when I saw the post title in my RSS feed I *knew* about whom it would be.

If Timmeh really believes in God, then he also believes in Satan. If he wants to stay in the NFL he might think about switching sides.

I don’t follow sports but I watched Tebow being interviewed on The Daily Show. He struck me as puppy dog nice. He’s a bumbling inarticulate not very bright polite Christian kid who comes off as a nice boy. I have no idea if the impression is accurate but that’s how he came across.

His suit was also way too tight on him, a half size too small. So I guess mama still needs to be buying his clothes for him.

I think he owes the Volkswagen Thing an apology.

Tebow may yet find himself on this list but at least he can thank Jeebus for first creating Ryan Leaf.

*heh* Thank Gawd, Tbogg…! Your Dolts still exceeded my Broncos debacle, that was the Josh McDaniels Era…! Good Riddance and all…! Maybe, Fox will use Baby Jeebus as a blocking FB…! If only Kharma was truly a b*tch…! ;-)

Okay…. I get the “Jesus” part; but where did the “Juicebox” moniker come from?

His suit was also way too tight on him, a half size too small. So I guess mama still needs to be buying his clothes for him.

It’s sort of an Incredible Hulk deal. JuiceBox keeps topping off with high octane Jebuz and bursting his buttons. He’ll be the size of King Kong in another couple of years, waving a bible from atop the Empire State Building….

Given the fact he will now be a starter for his second team I think it is clear that Jesus’ favor has been bestowed upon Tavaris Jackson over Tebow.

Tim Tebow won’t ever give up…no matter what guys like Rick Reilly say. Last year Orton was benched…and Tewbow did just fine. I, personally, think he should be a tight end…but who knows how it will shake out. One thing I know…he’s no Ryan Leaf…(and I will keep Jesus out of it totally). I don’t care about his book or his religious efforts, I just know that he will not give up. That’s all you can ask in any player at any level. Rick Reilly is wrong…..

I think he should be given the job because of his religious beliefs. Then his team can be as mediocre bad as the US government.

I think they should go with Tebow regardless as an act of faith.

Boxturtle (being a browns fan, I think that anything bad that happens to denver is good)

Tim Tebow is an inspiration. He helps his fans to believe that God will show them favor over others. Others, OTOH are shit out of luck. Too Bad.

God has been busy lately making the top one percent richer than their wildest dreams helping them to extract resources from the rest of us.

God is too busy for Tebow rigfht now. There’s Oil, Wood, Diamonds, Metals and Minerals to extract.

senator Tebow from colorado?

My Tebow antipathy comes more from my Seminole allegiance and him being a gator than the god thing. This year should be a great year for watching gator QBs go down in flames, we have Grossman in DC and Tebow in Denver.

Kelly, if i was given millions of dollars to play football I would give up either. However, I like Tebow wouldnt see much playing time, no matter how hard I tried. Some people just arent good enough no matter how hard they try.

But you are right, he is better than Leaf, but that is a low bar. A better comparison would be with Leinart, V Young, Kolb, Rodgers and Stafford. All these people were taking in the first round just like Tebow and some of them won Heismans and a championship in college just like Tebow.

Please. Nobody got it.Tim Tebow , the darlng of wingnuts , gets drafted in the first round when 99% of knowledgeable pro observers say He is not and will not be an NFL QB.Did you check the political pedegree of the Broncos owner?

OK – there are those that are afraid of being judged, and like to pretend they can prove there is no God that will judge them, and then there are those that take Matthew 7:7-8 (which says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”) and run with it, forgetting that the answer is likely to not be what you asked for.

We can discuss Tebow, who seems a nice kid with talent, or we can do the religious snark. Doing both seems odd unless one gets points at FDL for putting down the religious – and if getting points putting down the religious is what FDL is all about, FDL’s ability to grow its influence in politics will be hampered.

If the claim is a civil rights thing and some non-religious football player with more talent than Tebow lost out to Tebow because of Tebow being religious, who was that person and how do we know religion played a part?

FDL’s ability to grow its influence in politics will be hampered.

I, personally, don’t give a fuck about FDL Central Command’s “ability to grow its influence in politics” or about the sky fairies that JuiceBox adores….

Snark, puppies, boobies and Shakira’s butt. Those I like!

if getting points putting down the religious is what FDL is all about

Whatever. Humor isn’t pretty. Personally, I’m not into putting down the religious, but I am foursquare 100% totally like all in on putting down the missionaries. Guys who wear biblical verse references instead of glare patches, guys who thank God for helping them win football games, guys who want me to behave like them because their personal version of the Great Sky Fairy told them they should, those guys can call me after they suck up Lake Michigan. Until then, “Oh, Shut The Fuck Up” will have to do.

As an atheist, the bible verses on the face at games is a real turn-off.

But more importantly, I’m a orange-blooded citizen of VOL NATION!!!

Wait a minute, wait a minute! You guys must think that God has no skills when it comes to crafting dramatic stories, despite a sizable compendium of reference work?

Do you really think that The Big Director would start-out the Baby Tebow as the world-beating over-dog? No way! The Baby Tebow would first gain sympathy through a withered arm in the beginning – and then the highlight reel would start.

Just watch – you sharp-eyed, acerbic-witted guys think you’ve got it all figured out! – when, really, you’re just being suckered-in for the Herbie ‘The Love Bug’ ending, all over again…

OK – there are those that are afraid of being judged, and like to pretend they can prove there is no God that will judge them

Oh. Jesus. Christ.

You have Invisible Friend Tea Parties with He Who Keeps A Low Profile and I’m the one pretending? God botherer, please…

Brady Quinn is a better QB, stronger arm, and better football sense. I bet Brady could at least tie Tebow in a 40 yard race. And he went to Notre Dame, so he can’t be too dumb.

Tebow can safely ride the pine behind those two until he catches up.

Bronco fan logging in. Tebow was an academic all-american so this is yet another edition of Lesley not knowing what the fuck she’s talking about. She sure be snarky, though. Love the fashion police bit, Lez.

And you fucking Charger fans. You got a quarterback who preaches chastity. Preaches it! Is he an asshole now?

Unfortunately, the fucker can actually throw the ball.

(silence)

Being a Bronco fan sucks.

OK – there are those that are afraid of being judged, and like to pretend they can prove there is no God that will judge them

I don’t need to “pretend [I] can prove there is no God”, since there isn’t one, and how exactly does one “prove” a negative? Can you prove that I cannot fly?

You, on the other hand, are the one making the statement that something/someone exists for which there is no direct, verifiable evidence. YOU need to prove TO ME the existence of your Invisible Sky Person.

That’s a real talent. You know, better than Lesley, how TT impressed her in his stint on TDS? So, can you tell us what she really thought when she saw him? Since you know she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about, in re her impressions?

Football fandom seems to cause a disruption in the cerebellum for some.

unless one gets points at FDL for putting down the religious

Oh, shut your fucking gob, you whiny little superstitious twat.

Hey, I just earned 50 Putting Down the Religious Reward Points! Thanks!

Though I agree with the sentiment of your post, I think there is sort of a misapprehension regarding proving a negative. I can prove that a rational square root for, e.g., 6 does not exist. So it certainly can be done for some classes of negatives. YWYH, IPU, or even U’s in general, probably not, but some negatives can be proved.

Surely you don’t believe that BS about academic all-americans.

I’ve talked to people that attended classes with players, and they never saw them in class until the last day.

I don’t need to “pretend [I] can prove there is no God”, since there isn’t one, and how exactly does one “prove” a negative? Can you prove that I cannot fly?

You, on the other hand, are the one making the statement that something/someone exists for which there is no direct, verifiable evidence. YOU need to prove TO ME the existence of your Invisible Sky Person.

LOL! In fact, ROTFLMAO… (/s) Because, a), no person of faith who is comfortable with that faith is even remotelt interested in proving that there is a God, since it’s a matter of faith to believe that there is a God, and that is the heart of faith in the first place and b), you cannot prove that there is no God, now can you?

That’s the way God likes it, I believe.

As to the thread, it appears that Tim Tebow is overrated, or not yet matured, and although I firmly believe in the existence of God I surely cannot accept that God has blessed the winners of any football game. That is an outgrowth of the, dare I say it, the apostate “Gospel of Wealth” (God must surely be favoring the successful) notion.

Yes, I understand what you are saying; just didn’t want to get too metaphysical (pun intended) in my comment.

It’s been a very long time since I learned about irrational and imaginary numbers, so forgive my ignorance/forgetfulness, but in the example you use (square root of 6), IIRC, the proof is actually that a root exists, but it cannot be rational. Kinda splitting hairs, but there is a difference.

Again, it’s been several (lots of?) decades since I did this, so I may be completely off.

I have a religious friend.

One time we were dicussing politics (gay marriage).

I told him that he shouldn’t be so sure he isn’t gay himself.

He said he couldn’t be because he’s too religious.

I asked him if he ever actually listened to himself when he was talking about Tim Tebow.

When fundies talk about him it’s barely less homoerotic than greased up nude greco roman wrestling.

Perhaps Jeebus will tell him to join the Xtian Crusaders in Afghanistan where he can kill Muslims for Christ.

Ask him if he likes gladiator movies.

Hey, I just earned 50 Putting Down the Religious Reward Points! Thanks!

You can earn a lot more points by just clicking on “papau’s” link-name.

I have no idea where some of these humor-challenged clowns find the time to toss their 2 cents worth into every goddamn post over at FDL Central Command. Must be gawd’s invisible hand at work….

Tebow has the size and is hard nosed on the field…that alone elevates him above some of those other guys. People said Zach Thomas would never make it….. I’ve been watching football a long time…and I never count out a player who has the “want” to succeed. I don’t get involved with the religious side, but he’s been taught since birth to spread the word….which is fine for some people. I don’t buy into that…but I don’t think he has an malicious agenda with it. I just ignore. And I’m not a huge Gator fan. My son graduated from UF, but all they ever did for me was drain my bank account whenever they could with their BS. (No pun intended). SEC football is a horrible example of hype over substance in life.