Truth.

Publicity = speaker bookings = money. It’s not complicated. Who was surprised?

To be fair to wedding crashers, they are either low profile ‘guests’ or charming and fun. Snowflake Snooki is an attention whore who’d be yacking away on the sound system during the reception while the rest of us were trying to master the chicken dance after a few cocktails. (i just go to Catholic weddings)

Also, too, how much fun would a dick like Tawd be at the party?

When they finally pull her off the P.A. she’ll go from group to group, reciting “I could’ve married him, but the liberals kept telling him lies about me.”

Can’t wait for another history lesson: “And that great Republican, Abe Lincoln, was from these parts. Yup, just up the road.”

Kind of the verbal equivalent of wearing a lampshade on your head.

Oh, and being a family of grifters, Snooki would bring the entire freakin’ clan (klan?) of Palins.

I see Bebe Trigg crawling underfoot looking for food scraps, Bristol with spawn in tow be signing autograghs and selling kisses for $5 a pop in the lobby, Willow getting bent over some piece of furniture in the back of the K.C. hall by one of the groomsmen and Piper slithering through the crowd showing off her knock-off D&G sunglasses and Louis V purse.

What about Track, you ask? Bless his heart, he stayed home. He’s a Palin through and through, but he can’t stand the fuckers, either.

Poor Mitt. Seems like someone’s eating his corn dog.

Anyone read The Devil in the White City? Remember the delusional guy who keeps thinking he’s due to get a prominent appointment from the mayor of Chicago, then, at the end (… SPOILER ALERT …) assassinates him? I’m getting those vibes from Palin.

two-month hiatus = Tea baggers’ memory event horizon.

Uh oh. Seems like the rate of out of wedlock pregnancies in Iowa is about to rise.

I’m getting flashbacks to a Mary Worth strip:

http://joshreads.com/images/10/12/i101209maryworth.jpg

I could picture the Quitta’ From Wasilla in the role of “Jill” being bodily thrown out after having a few too many cherry vodka presses and blathering on about how the bride is a slut who’s looking for a free ride and the groom is an evil Commie Fascist who’ll be banging the Maid of Honor before the reception’s over.

And then, every time a table is vacant because its guests have either left or are dancing or socializing, she’d take the centerpiece and have one of her kids hustle it off to a box out back. If caught, she’d explain, “I thought nobody wanted it.”

Sarah who? Michelle is the new teabagger “it” girl.

Is there a set of brass trucknutz on the back of that bus? If not, why not?

So what’s the downside here? We get all of the clowns back in the ring where each has to out-clown the other in order to grab the Teapublican voter’s attention. I hope that goodhair clown can join the action in the main ring. OK, there’s always a risk of creating the black hole of stupidity when the critical mass of clownage approaches the speed of blight, but still….

Wow! Weddings make for so much snarkish win….

If there’s a keg and a bitchin’ band, maybe Levi and Mercede will swing by.

The reason Gawed has Sarah is that HE cannot be every where at once, despite his elsewhere argued and purportedly logically necessary omnipresence. So, Sarah’s got a bus, and what with secular government speed limits and gas taxes and all, it’s wonderfully bold of her to persevere so perseverily. Thank you, Sarah!

The hell with the centerpieces…the bride better hope the gift table is well-guarded.

Ahem.

Now that my state has your attention, may I point out that I would be willing to share both my medicine and liquor cabinets with anyone who wants to stop by and get into uncompromising trouble along with me?

I thought Bible Spice’s bus had sailed or something, also, too. Hasn’t the Quitter’s sell-by date expired?

Shouldn’t Snooki be busy enough already? What with tending to her 3 month gestation miracle/”preemie” new grandbaby or babbling about how she KNEW our credit was headed for a downgrade and the stocks were gonna fall.

Cause, you know—her minor at one of the nine catrillion hillbilly junior colleges she attended was finance and stuff. And she knows everything, anyway. Like how successful her run for VP, her bus tour and her movie all would be.

sorry, but sarah’s just gonna have to face facts. her milfness is no longer — now that she’s a granny x2. and that daughter that had such potential has turned out all wrong now that she’s moved to the big city — gotten plastic surgery and horror of horrors — she’s dating a black guy.

Guess the summer mosquitoes finally made it to Alaska.

now that she’s a granny x2 x3

Fixed it for you. We all know who Duffle’s REAL mommy is.

Dang, that was some long jury duty. I wonder if she was part of the jury pool for Schaeffer Cox.