Godbotherer and probably Notre Dame football fan  Joshua Mercer is unleashing a sigh of relief that Texas dick adjuster Rick Perry is apologizing for mandating that all  girls in Texas become whores at age eleven or, I don’t know, move to Utah and get married or something:

In his first day on the campaign trail, Gov. Rick Perry does some good housecleaning, making amends in explaining his decision to mandate the vaccine Gardasil to 11-year old girls in Texas.

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When a voter in New Hampshire confronted Perry on this issue, he gave a great response:

“I signed an executive order that allowed for an opt-out, but the fact of the matter is I didn’t do my research well enough to understand that we needed to have a substantial conversation with our citizenry,” he said. “I hate cancer. Let me tell you, as a son who has a mother and father who are both cancer survivors.”

Perry said he’d invested government resources in cancer cures, adding, “I hate cancer. And this HPV, we were seeing young ladies die at the early age. What we should have done was a program that frankly should have allowed them to opt in, or some type of program like that, but here’s what I learned — when you get too far out in front of the parade they will let you know. And that’s exactly what our legislature did…

I think by admitting that he hates cancer, Perry opens himself up to charges from Michele Bachmann that Perry must hate God too, because God made cancer and therefore it is every bit as sacred as fetuses and farm subsidies. Maybe even more so because only women can have fetuses and only farmers can get farm subsidies but everyone can get cancer which is very free market or socialist of God depending upon your views.

But why does Joshua want tweens to get HPV which is the cause of nearly all cases of cervical cancer? Well, Joshua is a Catholic so it must be all about the sex and not the sacred act that takes place between a man and his lawfully wedded  and church-approved wife, or even a Palin and someone with an ice chest full of wine coolers and a bitchin’ Camaro. Nope. It’s about control and just like allowing a teen  to get drivers license so they can legally and safely drive, the HPV vacine is like an injectable license to safely fuck anyone with a ice chest full of wine coolers and a bitchin’ Camaro:

So why would Culture of Life Catholics and evangelicals have a problem with this?

Unlike other public health threats like meningitis, which spreads easily between people in close quarters, the only way a teenager will get HPV is from sexual intercourse. If they abstain, they are in no real danger in getting this virus which causes cervical cancer.

Obviously Merck wants to make a lot of money by making all of our daughters get the $120 shots. And I understand that sexually transmitted diseases have become a pandemic, one that we don’t talk enough about.

But if we force every daughter to get Gardasil, we have lost hope in the ability of our children to say no to hazardous premarital sex.

In effect, the very decision to give your daughter Gardasil tells your daughter: “I know you can’t say no.” This gives her the green light. She’ll think: “After all, Mom and Dad think I’m having sex anyway.”

But having the state mandate this is even worse. You establish a culture where young girls are resigned to becoming a sex object. It’s an assault on the dignity of young women.

Which is something that I am sure Joshua will explain to his daughter, Mary Margaret Kathryn Jean Lopez Lourdes Ofjoshua Mary Magdalene (But Not The Whore One) Mercer if she ever contracts cervical cancer because a guy with a big hat told him to not let her get vaccinated.

Then he can send her to her hospice without any supper…