I didn’t even make it to the 35 second mark. That shit is the stink.

.

I made it to 0:57. Man that was awful. TBogg, you owe me one minute of my life. I’ll accept payment in Shakira ass videos.

Only for TBogg would I listen to tripe like this. Of course, I lost a whole bunch of brain cells and I think my ears might be bleeding. (And they made little kids sing with them too?? Isn’t that abuse?)

This is the perfect snake oil group, though, for the teabaggers. You gotta admit, they know their marks.

I’m only 51. Please tell me I still have a shot.

Simply stunning. My favorite part was the rhyming scheme. it’s on a level with most two year olds.

This is music to make you more stupid, which is something that music is *not* supposed to do.

Christopher Schreiner, Alex Bodnar and Scott Stapp, ladies and gentlemen! The MONSTERS OF ROCK!!!!!

Also…In 2008, he joined forces with Creed frontman Scott Stapp for his second solo effort.

“Joined forces” always makes me think of Silver Age DC comics: “In this issue of Showcase: Aquaman joins forces with The Manhunter from Mars and Hawkman!”

I bet they get beat up if they try to play in Madison, WI. It might be worth the trip just to see it happen.

I was going to joke about how the drum machine wasn’t so bad but the drum machine sucks hard.

Okay, Googled and found more lyrics:

“He was the Gipper, he had the knack.
He took a bullet and he still came back!

Tearing down an iron wall Acting in his greatest role Made his critics look like fools ‘Cause even jelly beans were cool!”

— “In the Days That Reagan Ruled”

Oh. My. God.

They sound pretty crappy, which is to say they sound like lots of other, popular bands. If they’re marketing themselves to Republicans, NASCAR fans and the military, they’ll probably do alright for themselves. Too bad.

This is what happens when you take away the sex, drugs, and rock and roll from rock and roll.

What can compare? Of course Up With People!

Good gravy this is awful. It seems like whenever repukes make an attempt at involving themselves in creating pop culture they just fall flat on their asses laughably.

you may now hold your lighters aloft

What about the danger of the oxygen bottles creating an infern….

Oh, I see what you did there!

Pretty dreadful.

…whenever repukes make an attempt at involving themselves in creating pop culture….

it’s a sign of the Apocalypse?

apparently the only thing worse than xtian ‘popular’ music types and the deeply absurdly retarded shoe horning of biblical passages and dogma into 8 bar and 12 bar blues meters or into non-ryhming, non-rythimic, “hip-hop” formats is “partriotic classic rock”. my god…my god. this has already failed spectacularly,of course, except for the tiny amount of unwarranted atttention it gets from bloggers who want to hold it up as an example of..of i dont know what. the said bloggers intellectual and asthetic superiority and over all culturally uptotheminute withit hip cuteness i suppose.

Crank It Up! Rick Derringer and Kenny Powers are Real Americans:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuL2g7Iddbw

The response of the audience in that satirical piece is authentic to the responses I have seen.

They do sound crappy, but some right wingers will still buy their stuff.

The band sounds marginally better than Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the USA, though, which shows you how bad Lee’s stuff is.

Here’s Lee’s magnum opus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRCQypnVeXA

Comedian Ted Alexandro has his own right wing parody song, which is much more entertaining than Madison Rising.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqEKjvH_DqA

Where is Tipper Gore when we need her?

To say nothing of toby keith or that GIGANTIC DOUCHEBAG that performs such “country music” stalwarts as honkey tonk badonka-donk. i cant think of his name, right now, fortunately.

Maybe they can share a bill with these guys: http://www.winterband.com/ Please do not watch their Youtube clips while you have food or drink in your mouth

Good music is never contrived so this will be guaranteed shiite. And good music is never put out by mainstream labels. All those signed to them have “souled” their asses quite literally for fame and fortune.

lady gaga
justin beiber
jonas bros
miley cyrus and on and on.
all shiite.

My aren’t we positive and sunny today ha ha.

It starts off sucky, but it gets worse. I hate to say it, but it proves that Nickelback isn’t anywhere near to the most soulless talentless act out there. I’d listen to 15 Nickelback parties before I listened that garbage again.

I’m gonna have to play at least one whole Matthew Sweet album to remove the nasty taste. Chased with some Iggy Pop.

I dunno, I thought Winterband had a decent metal sound, and I kind of liked the green screen treatment of them ‘playing’ at Stonehenge. Plus … awesome beards. They seem about 1000% more authentic than Madison Sucking.

Richard Mgrdechian? Doesn’t sound like a ‘merican name to me. Sounds sort of pinko-commie or, gasp, muslin!

The conservatives inhabit A Galaxy Of Emptiness.

Vieux Farka Toure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I7P5e3GP0I&mode=user&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqIP5CeEK_c&feature=relmfu

Too bad everything is a business model and not a feeder of our souls held in beauty.

I could recommend listening to this show
http://celticrebel.wordpress.com/
Most would recoil in horror at what he has to say
..truth hurts. He plays killer music.
Great for a deeper perspective of our reality.

This got my attention:

“Mamá no dejes que tu hijo sea un vaquero” (“Mamas don’t let your babise grow up to be cowboys“)

At first I thought this presentation might have been tongue-in-cheek (notice the old AZ movie set near Prescott at the beginning and later sequences that look like Flagstaff?) until I went to the very corporate-looking website of the lead group from Mexico and one of the band members is wearing a Confederate flag shirt. Huh? The band is touring all over northern Mexico.

So, America… are you ready to rawk out with your cawk out? Or whatever lady part you ladies rawk out with when you rawk out?

I believe the equivalent lady part phrase you’re looking for is jam out with your clam out.

And no, I did not press play….that kind of traumatic shit this girl does not need.

Armenian. From Fresno, maybe: they like their Republicans, and ethnic doesn’t count if they have that R after their name.

Dedicated to all you republicans and the middle digit you have stuck up your asses figuratively and physically

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WUD-nhsmkw

Vaginas are beautiful as are the woman who have them. Clam could never be a term of endearment for a woman’s sacred yoni.

Laughing so hard my 14 year old (soccer-playing daughter kinda like the L&T Casey) came in to see what it was all about. I described it. The cursor hovering over TBogg’s video link to this so-called band…and I asked, “Do you want to hear it?” Faster than she could stop a breakaway, she said, “No. I’m good.” And she scurried from the room. Yep. Smart kid.
TBogg—damn your ass for this…I’m making all these embarrassing snorting noises and such…

It’s got the annoyingly insipid stylings of Creed , with all the faux patriotic douchiness of Lee Greenwood . That guarantees that it’s going to become a conservative anthem.

T Bogg I do take offense at the definition of the old guitar player. I tune up every time I play badly.

No T Petty
No LZ
No Doors

play frequencies seeing how they mesh is the best.

America- Fuck Yeah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

I pity the folks at The Onion. How can they keep up when the knuckledraggers churn out crap like this?

Whew, that’s a relief! From his bio-pic he looks white enough (but you know how those things can be PhotoShopped) and as holder of US Patent Number 7,545,784 he must be a true patriot.

Also, too being “one of the first players in a field that would ultimately spawn companies such as ShoutyFacebook, TwitterTwat, Foursquare and others” gives him fuckin’ righteous rock-n-roll cred….

They’d probably really score with the chicks if they changed the company name to Purple Eagle Donkey-Thing Entertainment

Meanwhile, Cheap Trick is on Austin City Limits right now.

I love the red white and bukkake.

Yeah, I imagine it is getting more difficult to be totally ridiculous. The right wingers have really raised that bar.

Awww, not where I live.

Thanks, PW. Cheap Trick and ACL are just about the only names I recognize in this whole post!

But, isn’t “patriotic rock and roll” some kinda contradiction in terms? Rock n roll is anti!
Just think, without TBogg, I would never have heard of this, uh, group.

I spent 21 years in the Army defending these pathetic fools’ rights to make horrible shit to something that poorly approximates a 4/4 beat.
I don’t know why I have to keep explaining to people that they are NOT obligated to do that, however.
I can only say that being retired from the service, I will not ever have to worry about being handed tickets to one of their events at the post rec center #2 (the old WWII gym with the leaky ceiling and the Foosball tables in the dimly lit handball court with the uneven floor) and told to either attend that or clean the barracks.

YOU are an anti-clamite.

I have always preferred the gender-neutral “punk out with your junk out”.

That way everyone can expose themselves.

Surely “Purple Eagle Entertainment” is the name of a 2nd rate porn production outfit?

Also, too, “At 21, Alex toured Japan as lead guitarist for Utada Hikaru” Big in Japan, huh? Yeah, that always rocks on a CV.

Best, longest, run on sentence with punkschiashion evah.

Yer teh hoss, I bow to yer wow.

Indeed.

*bowsheadslightlyTealclike*

“Patriotic” = “Pro-Republican”

Why don’t they just say “pro-Republican” instead of trying to lamely conflate the two?

If you have ever asked yourself “where do they find people to do this kind of schlock?” I think here is one possible source. I see this advertised on a billboard not far from where I live here in the North Dallas suburbs.

This is music to make you more stupid

In this case, they’re giving their target audience what they want, vacuous feel-good flaking off of brain cells with none of that frightening librul ambiguity that “makes head hurt”.

And they’re focusing on events where the crowd’s goal isn’t to ‘enjoy’ music, but to prove their ideological purity to their fellow cultists by flapping their flippers and cheering loudly at every sledgehammer-cliche slogan.

‘Patriotic Rock’ is up there with ‘Christian Rock’ for sheer ingrained awfulness. Because right-wingers cannot create, they can only destroy.

Big in Japan, huh?

Hold on there. Japan’s not in ‘merica is it? This “band” is involved with some pretty suspicious foreign types and apparently their leader is an Armenian. Sure, if you stare cross-eyed at “Armenian” long enough it looks like “American” but, just the same, the Minute Men need to infiltrate these sneaky devils…

So I followed TBogg’s link to the Madison Chubbing website and from there to the Purple Eagle Entertainment site, to find out that the latter is a”subsidiary of Terabit Media Corporation“. Where I found this:

WHAT’S NEW

Terabit Media Corporation has formally launched its first project – a new rock band best described as a conservative version of Rage Against The Machine. The band, Madison Rising, named in honor of James Madison, the fourth President of the United States and a key author of the Constitution, The Bill of Rights and The Federalist Papers, provides guitar-centric, pro-American rock music to a market devoid of quality content. The band’s first single – Soldiers of America – will be released on September 1, 2011 and the album itself will be available on September 30th.

A “conservative version of Rage Against the Machine”???!! I just … words fail … what is there to say to that?

Of course, providing “rock music to a market devoid of quality content” is hilariously and no doubt unintentionally accurate when you consider that particular market.

The band, Madison Rising…provides guitar-centric, pro-American rock music to a market devoid of quality content.

Fixed.
I’m only surprised they didn’t release the single on September 11.

Winterland promises “guitar shredding”. There’s nothing like tossing your guitar into a gawd-blessed industrial strength wood chipper to end the show. Who wouldn’t cheer that?

Home run
Because right-wingers cannot create, they can only destroy.

One of the qualities of a psychopath..they have no ability to create, there is nothing there, there. They are by definition psychological vampires.
http://www.realitysandwich.com/lets_spread_word_wetiko. Their agenda is killing us all spiritually and literally.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

They cast the pall of their shadow across the world like the black death.

ha ha that’s good

This is humanistic or Picture a sign with the word patriot and a slash through it.
Soldiers lay down your arms and meet your brother the dreaded other. Just like you surprise surprise..You fell for the lies. The truth would be we are all separate individuals but all connected and what you do to one has consequence for all. My god it is so simply beautiful..it will be so one day.

Way back but right on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Y0ekr-3So

My aim is peace and bringing down the system that is its antithesis. Aim high it’s a long shot.

I refuse to hit play. REFUSE.

Well, Rage Against the Machine has always struck me as a really conservative (ie stoopid)name for a band, and in fact their preachy self-righteousness can be off-putting. In becoming so far left you’re right or so far right you’re left, one must pass through a Luddite phase.

I’m a luddite then. I could go off but I refrain. Our vaunted technology in the main has brought us what?
Exotic imagination for the beneficence of man.. hardly
automobiles and death.
If you read the Mahabharata you see that we are repeating ourselves into oblivion with this technology….fuck the police.

The future of live music is here: (They’re all 15 or under)

Dear Mr Fantasy
http://youtu.be/QhJz6qBK_oE

Sam Kinison is turning in his grave

This is the sort of music that Tebow would make if he were in the music biz.

a new rock band best described as a conservative version of Rage Against The Machine.

Tom Morello is rolling over in his future grave.

Only, in this case, no one will get shot.

OTOH, if they ever succeed in turning Cheetos into ammo, they’d be dangerous.

Maybe they’ll be the new Prussian Blue:

Update

When News of the Weird wrote about the twin singers Lamb and Lynx Gaede (“Prussian Blue”), age 13, in 2005, they were singing Aryan-heritage songs at white-supremacist venues, under the guidance of their Hitler-admiring mother, April. Nowadays, the girls are off the road, according to a July report on The Daily, and have almost completely renounced their political fervor (to April’s disappointment). Said Lamb, “I was just spouting a lot of knowledge that I had no idea what I was saying. My sister and I are pretty liberal now.” Added Lynx, “Personally, I love diversity. I’m stoked that we have so many different cultures.” Both girls have struggled with illnesses since their fame and credit a new treatment that they praise for easing their conditions: medical marijuana.

I lasted 17 seconds. Their sound reminded me of the time my neighor’s teen daughter backed their car over a metal trash can and dragged it down the street for a full block. Only less melodic.

Up With People – my first thought exactly. My remembrance of them is an album from the late 1960s or early 1970s that my grandparents had. Your link is to a 1982 performance. I looked them up on Wikipedia and found that, indeed, their most successful decade was the 1980s – I didn't realize they lasted that long. Since Up With People was an organization, not a band, I wonder who the performers were on the LP. Catchy tunes, but the organization was a break-off from Moral Re-Armament (MRA), kind of the Moral Majority of its day.

From nearly 40-year-old memories:

Up, up with people
You meet them wherever you go.
Up, up with people
The best kind of folks you know.
If more people were for people,
all people everywhere.
There'd be a lot less people to worry about
and a lot more people to care.

That was really uncalled for, Tbogg. I saw the Grand Funk image up there and I thought, “Great, he’s going to artfully tie I’m Your Captain to the sinking Obama adminstration in a very interesting and entertaining, yet slightly depressing, Sunday morning post.”

But nooooooooo, it’s just depressing.

Only Shakira’s ass AND Bassets will make up for this.

Wow, that is some seriously boring shit. On the plus side, I can definitely hear that Malmsteen, Van Halen and Hendrix influence. Or something…

This is the perfect snake oil group, though, for the teabaggers. You gotta admit, they know their marks.

Indeed, but I think they are way late for their ride on the ruby gravy train. Sarah Palin has pretty much sucked up all of those discretionary dollars.

I think I’ve found the opening act for Madison Rising on their national tour-
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/sarah-palin/8267035/Sarah-Palin-folk-tribute-song-is-internet-hit.html

Heartland Anthem Rock LIVES!!

my neighor’s teen daughter backed their car over a metal trash can and dragged it down the street

She, like Alex Bodnar, had already mastered some of the most complex thrash-metal techniques around at a very young age.

Does she wear a flag pin?

There are enough comments to warn me. I am NOT getting out of the boat.

GFR was my first introduction to hard rock. First album (yes, those ancient platter things) I ever bought was E Pluribus Funk. Simple music, simple lyrics, but I still love ‘em anyway. Nice straight-foreward grunt rock. With the rock industry dominated by Brit bands, they were among the few highly successful American hard rock bands. My parents gave me “We’re an American Band” for Christmas!

From “People Let’s Stop the War” (E Pluribus Funk)
If we had a president, that did just what he said,
The country would be just alright, and no one would be dead,
From fighting in a war, that causes big men to get rich.
There’s money in them war machines, now ain’t this a bitch?

Or whatever lady part you ladies rawk out with when you rawk out?

Our boobs.

We’re not wearing bras, y’know.

Let ‘em fly.

Forgot a linky. Here’s GFR doing Inside Looking Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxFl0pod4wI&feature=related

Yes, I know it was written by The Animals.

Ear cancer. That’s what I’ve got after listening to that. I’ll send you the bill.

That was preternaturally bad. Well, the :34 that I listened to, anyway.

I’ll bet, through my personal connections in the music biz, I could possibly get them an opening gig at a First Nations casino in Canada. For Tony Orlando, maybe. Not for Roy Clark, though. They play too shitty to open for Roy Clark.

What gunsbeforebutter said here just made my day. Tbogg’s regular commenters have some of the best snark on the planet.

And I am not clicking to listen. Even I have my standards, low though they may be.

That was preternaturally bad moving into rhetorical territory that is specifically vicious, graphically artistically unforgiving. Jane owes everyone an apology.

Regards,

PonchoLefty

That beginning riff is basically a one note variation of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” Then they add some cheap imitation of Jimmy Page’s guitar in there and the rest is just 3 chord shit.

One of the financiers of Up with People was the late Westside(as in Westside of the San Joaquin Valley, around I-5 and the foothills west of the highway) cotton baron J G Boswell II.

Have they already forgotten Dennis Mand(forever)alone?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4difPEQ8wA4

God, I still can’t watch that all the way through.

Look, when it comes to Patriot Rock, no one beats Early Cuyler:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx_a_10HVOo

When are America’s Morans® going to learn? If you’re going to “manufacture” a band for mass consumption, you start with quality, then hype the ever-loving shit out of it.

Even The Monkees had two members that could actually play their instruments – Mike Nesmith could even write decent songs! – plus, they had the cream of the Brill Building writing their guaranteed radio-friendly hits for them.

Grand Funk was two guys that Flint, Michigan low level impresario Terry Knight took from his old band The Pack, added ? and the Mysterians bassist Mel Schachter, and essentially told them, “I’ll do all the talking, and I’ll make you millionaires!” which he did – before they were 21.

Yet both bands rebelled from their music overlords, because rock and roll ain’t about “do what I tell you”, man! Which is, of course, why I never made it as a rock star. Too many rules, man. I ain’t ever gonna sell out! Now, if I could just get my cheap Tele copy in tune for another round of “Smoke on the Water” before my 50th birthday…

And yes, I have every Grand Funk album on vinyl. Had to finally buy the CD of We’re An American Band because I wore that clear yellow album right through the grooves.

If you’re going to “manufacture” a band for mass consumption, you start with quality, then hype the ever-loving shit out of it.

Worked great for Justin Bieber, the “hyping” part anyway. The “quality”, meh, not so much. But fuckin’ aye, the kid’s driving a Ferrari!

Ohmigawd. I was wondering where the name came from…I immediately thought of Madison, WI and Wiunion, an offensive intended to flip th emeaning of the Wisconsin demos this year. But James Madison?
100 times worse.
I’m really getting p.o’d at the entitled attitude of these teabagging types toward the names of the Founding Fathers. I really think if they could return and face these creeps, there would be violence done. Even little Jemmy Madison would not take kindly to these authoritarian, change-hating, pseudo-patriot types, and would let them know it.

Honest to gawd, people: don’t just hit play and leave it on for 40 seconds.

Start the video at the very beginning, then imagine you’re at one of their concerts and try to dance to the shit!

Your body will be totally mixed up and flummoxed to a stop in 12 bars, gayronteed.

I just huffed a can of gold-fleck paint and dove right into the video. Not half bad! The paint that is….