“We will no longer stand idly by while the slow, insidious, socialist, campaign to sully and turbidify the sanctity and crystal purity of our bodily fluids continues under the dark and un-American (USA!!) kenyattan ursurper! FOR GONDOR!!”

New form of abstinence, can’t be all bad.

and not the kind of sad cringing weeping sex that Marcus Bachmann has with his “wife” in order to keep up appearances.

That’s odd. I thought Marcus was Lindsey Graham’s bitch, not the other way around….

I’m sure some people are having sex (and babies). Just probably not the right people.

Garrett Morris: [dignified, dripping with snooty condescension] Now, I’d like to speak about the subject of a certain Mick Jagger – of the Rolling Stones. … And I’m going to talk about the song he sang — a song in which he sings these very words: “Black girls – just want to have sex – all night long.” …

Now, Mr. Jagger, there is only one question I want to ask you — Jaggs. … And you better have the answer, man, you better have the answer, since you have besmirched the character of black women. Therefore, here is my question, Jaggs. [pause, takes off eyeglasses, suddenly drops the pose, pleading] Where are all of these black broads, man? … [huge cheers and applause] Hey, like, where ARE they, baby? You got any phone numbers for me, baby? … Please send ‘em to me. [puts glasses back on, dignified again] Thank you. … [enthusiastic applause]

In David Brooks latest he explains the good news, that Hard Times are making Americans into a grimly moral and introspective people given to thrift and self-denial as opposed to the frivolous life embracing people we once were who ran up our national credit cards on flatscreens, the latest doodads from Apple, and the occasional big night out splurging on a foreign war or two.

And Bobo should know all about thrift. He’s heard of it before.

Bobo (that’s his Title, ya know)is a true ConcernVative(TM).

Also, know that it is impossible for a ConcernVative (TM)to ever be wrong. Why? Because they’ve been kicked through the goalposts of Titlement which is kind of like tenure but more like the anti- “en-titlement” of shovel-ready dirt-hippies everywhere.

He’s a veritable Ubermench of our time… world-wise, debunker of our popular press’ penchant for the anti-hero (and heroin), specifically, the wastrel LiLo who, for the love of Libruls, won’t finish her community service because of en-titlement to which titlement is the only true antidote.

“Bobo of the copper-oxide patina” is a beacon to epistemologically closed-minded ConcernVatives throughout the halls of pow-wah.

So “Bobo Knows Best” is the Raison d’être of the ConcernVative press. And you know what? They’re right! Bobo keeps tabs on all the high class doings at the best establishments in town. Has he not partaken of the urinal-pucks at Delmonico’s? Le Bernardin? Lutèce? Or the Urnial Mints at Eleven Madison Park, Jean Georges, Masa, and Per Se? What about the Urnial Cookies at Di Fara, Trattoria D’Alfredo, the Automat, and Sripraphai?

Far more important is this astonishing mental mastodon’s signifying intuition…

“Let them eat Urinal Cakes!” Ergo, irreducible scents.

If we Want TO WIN; It’s FIRST Party, like We’re In LABOR! (WE ARE!)!

cue the rumpmeister: “Obama took my penis”

I agree with Mr. Brooks. This will be a long, hard slog, but if the working class stops pretending they’ve been shafted by Wall Street, they can climax in a spurt of economic goodwill.

Brooks is always disgusting but this one is high on the list of most awful. He is really just happy for the dream of the US transformed to the morality of the world of Dickens. Encouraged by Bill Krystal’s mom Gertrude Himmelfarb theories of the semi and real poverty of those times creating an ideal society, these neo-cons actually believe that. You know only the “intellectuals” of Brooks genre’ can have the wisdom to handle wealth.

LoL.. Amerika is flaccid.
The double entendres in the article stand out like little soldiers.

OMG?!!? Tim Allen is on Leno?!!? Gotta GO!

The guillotine was invented by people who had people like Bobo in mind.

When people are gloomy they have fewer babies, and, sure enough, fertility rates have dropped sharply, with the most dramatic plunges occurring in the hardest hit states, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

People have fewer babies when THEY DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY.

He literally does not understand the concept of not having any money.

I read that the birthrate went down dramatically during the Depression, too, and that got me thinking. How did they do that in the 30s?

I don’t seriously believe this nonsense about people having less sex during depressing times. Maybe it had to do with lots of men being away from home looking for work? Coitus interruptus? Now THAT’S depressing. French Letters? No… too expensive.

Could it have been…abortion?

No…that was SO against the law at that time. Surely not.

My departed grandmother propagandized me against abortion in the ’80s by telling me that she’d had [at least] one during the Depression, when grandpa was out of work and they already had two children they could hardly feed — she breastfed her son until he was 3 for that reason. At that time there was a neighborhood abortionist who took care of such things. Grandma professed great shame at later realizing she’d committed such a sin. I thought then and now she’d simply done what was necessary for the survival of her family, but she was determined to make a big moral lesson for me out of it. I think she suspected I wasn’t saving myself for marriage.

Grandma wouldn’t have used condoms because men used those with bad women and she was too respectable. That left coitus interruptus, extended nursing and abortion as the available birth control methods; the first two were at least free.

Like David Brooks would know anything about anyone who makes less than six figures a year…I get this image of David Brooks wearing a New York Jets jersey when he visits Applebees every six months, sort of like a British officer wrapping a towel around his head to visit the bazaar and listen to the unwashed during the days of the Raj.

I’d say it sounds like Bobo is looking for an excuse as to why he cannot get a boner anymore (or perhaps ever). Perhaps Bobo’s biggest problem is that he can’t get laid.

There was a lot of morality among the poor in Dickens. Also a lot of immorality. Oh, and the rich were often not at all moral, though they were sometimes thrifty.

Just like real life.

According to Boardwalk Empire, Lysol.

For real, there were herbs and such like Rue, but that knowledge has been scrubbed, sent down the same hole as the scopes monkey trials. (thanks to the internet, looks like its finding its way back)

It’s only been recently that the “concerned” church men got the idea to start passing laws to regulate vaginas.
http://www.feminist.com/resources/ourbodies/abortion.html

He literally does not understand the concept of not having any money.

FTFY

Coca-Cola supposedly had the same effect. I actually knew at least one girl in high school who was surprised she got pregnant because she always douched with Coca-Cola after sex.

I will let you all make your own jokes about “Real Thing”, “things that go better with”, etc.