The Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin takes time out from making shit up about Muslims to point out that Rick Santorum is very likely to benefit from Herman Cain’s penchant for taking subordinates back to his sexytime pad (aka Double Sausage Central) and hittin’ it doggy-style.

Which brings us back to Santorum who is set to unveil his 16 point plan, nine of which involve keeping the penis out of the butt and the future Jesus/Tim Tebow in the womb:

On Friday in Iowa, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum will give what his campaign bills as a major policy speech. Noteworthy is his intention to lead off with and stress social issues in contrast to others candidates who have largely stressed the economy. Iowa is where Santorum has his biggest and maybe last chance to make a splash with social conservatives.

The speech will contain 16 policy initiatives including:

●Calling on Congress to abolish the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals;

●Advocating for a personhood amendment to the Constitution;

●Calling on Congress to reinstitute the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy; and

●Executive orders to reinstitute the Mexico City policy to stop taxpayer funding or promotion of abortion overseas and to repeal Clinton-era Title X family planning regulations.

He also promises to direct the Department of Health and Human Services to restore the separation of Title X family planning from abortion practices and restore a ban on referrals for abortion. Finally, he will pledge to defend the Defense of Marriage Act in court.

So basically he will ban all sex and/or marriages unless they are opposite sex/marriages and if you gays get with the program and knock up Maggie Gallagher she’s going to have that damn Jesus love baby and there is nothing you can do about it which also probably includes not raising it because … you’re gay.

Apparently this polls well with the ‘forced pregnancy panty-sniffer’ demographic:

Will it be enough to lift him into contention? Tamara Scott, Iowa state chair of Concerned Women for America, told me in a phone interview this morning, “Rick Santorum is right on the social issues.” She praised his debate performances in which he introduced social issues into the fiscal debate. She has no patience for candidates who say “money is more important than the baby in the womb.”

This good news for The Poors who will now have the opportunity to develop the moral character they lack, as evidenced by their extreme poverty, by finishing off that unplanned pregnancy (because cheap birth control from Planned Parenthood makes the Baby Jesus cry and hurts America’s soul) and giving birth in the back of the broken down Ford Escort that is now their primary residence .

Win-win!

As for that quixotic desire to dismantle the the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, well, they are located in San Francisco and you know what that means…. [wink wink, swish swish, lisp, Bravo channel, uncle who smells nice and who has never married and we don't talk about it so mind your manners and eat your Cheesy Bacon Bowl].

Also. Santorum.