Saint Timothy of The 48% Completion Rate takes on the Cutler-less, Forte-less Chicago Bears today who managed to roll up a whopping 181 net yards against Kansas City last week en route to three, count’em, three (3) points. If the Bears could be beaten by KC’s Tyler Palko (who has the distinction of having once been cut by the United Football League’s California Redwoods in the pre-season) one can only imagine what the Anointed One will do to the Bears.
Meanwhile an outgrowth of the this age of wonder-how-he-does-it has been the blossoming of the Tebow exegesis cottage industry, consisting of pundits Who Feel The Need To Comment Because Something Is Going On And They Want To Use It To Make A Larger Point That Will Be Considered Deep And Get Them An Invite To The Aspen Idea Festival On One Of The Good Panels And Not The One Right After Lunch When Everyone Is All Drowsy And Half In The Bag.
Which brings us, unfortunately, to Frank Bruni:
Besides which, to get lost in the nature of his Christianity is to miss the ecumenical, secular epiphanies in his — and the Broncos’ — extraordinary season. Their sudden turnaround isn’t just thrilling. It illustrates the limits of logic and the shortcomings of the most quickly made measurements and widely cited metrics.
In sports as in politics, business and so much else, we like to think that we’ve broken down the components of achievement and that, looking at those components, we can predict who (and what) will prevail. But if any football analyst at the start of this season had said that a quarterback averaging under 140 yards of passing a game — that’s Tebow’s sorry statistic — would have a 6-1 record as a starter and be considered the linchpin of his team, few people would have bought it.
True, and yet not. For if we were to consult the Book of NFL Apocrypha, we would be reminded of Dilfer of Fresno, who also once took over his team late in the season and led them to the Promised Land XXXV (where he went a very Tebow-esque 12/25 for 153 yards) while completing 134 of 226 passes for 1502 yards for the season, blessed be his 76.6 quarterback rating. Amen.
The Bronco’s success, of course, has something to do with the defense, as pointed out by The Oracle of Theismann:
“That defense is as good as any in football right now,” Theismann said. “The offense doesn’t turn the ball over. There’s been one interception in seven games. I say this tongue-in-cheek: The way Tim throws the ball sometimes, nobody has a shot at getting it, his guy, the defenders. It’s either bounce it in the ground or throw it in the third row.”
Which brings us back to Bruni:
He reminds us that strength comes in many forms and some people have what can be described only as a gift for winning, which isn’t synonymous with any spreadsheet inventory of what it supposedly takes to win.
This gift usually involves hope, confidence and a special composure, all of which keep a person in the game long enough, with enough energy and stability, so that a fickle entity known as luck might break his or her way. For Tebow that state of mind comes from his particular relationship with his chosen God and is a matter of religion. For someone else it might be understood and experienced as the power of positive thinking, and is a matter of psychology. Either way it boils down to stubborn optimism and bequeaths a spark. A swagger. An edge.
From Bruni’s lips to Tebow’s butt…
(Added) From sbruin, a Tebowmas gift to us all
So awesome…




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National Faith League Week XIV. Even his defeated opponents are getting a raging Tebone:
This is like fighting Cecil B. DeMille’s special effects department. The Bears should just genuflect, turn tail and go home.
Magic thinking like Bruni’s should be on the WaPo editorial page. With Jesus on our side, some hard work and a little good luck, invading Iran will be another cake walk in the great Sandbox.
So did God make sure Vicks ribs got broken or what?
If I could find that gif of Citizen Kane clapping, I’d put it here.
Oh, and another thing: I agree with Joe Theismann.
Is anyone else typing those words for the very first time in their lives?
I’d like to say that I’m down on one knee, Tebowing to this post, but I really just tripped over an extension cord. Still, the primo snark (and comments above) deserve some tribute, so I just bounced an apple off the floor and ran a bootleg to the john in homage to the Anointed One.
Dansby’s awed comment reads like a brilliant satire of religious looney tunes. But it’s nice to see that God takes time out from running the entire universe to show himself in Bronco games.
Who’s closer to God than the team that plays in Mile High Stadium ?
PS. There also was a good piece in Time Magz. this week. I know nothing, but I thought it was good;)
And that’s why, for the first 55 minutes of the game, DBs should stop covering receivers and run into the void where no normal QB would throw the ball.
Sure it’ll look like Monty Python, but who’s willing to put money on JuiceBox Jesus actually hitting a wide open, uncovered receiver in the first 55 minutes?
I wish I could have profited off Tebow before the lack of talent causes an inevitable big loss. A tacky crucifix with a #15 Bronco figure on it, inscribed “He was sacked for your sins” maybe? Jesus with a hand on a devout, crouched TT figure’s helmet inscribed “win this for me”? Assorted massed opponents, pointing at #15 off alone, with the inscription, “truly he is the son of God”? All in molded, durable styrene. Collect them all!
Possibilities are endless.
I’d like a pair of thigh-high, stiletto-healed boots made from Philippine foreskins. Size 15, of course…
“What miserable drones and traitors have I nourished and brought up in my household, who let their lord be treated with such shameful contempt by a low-born quarterback?”
@gunsbeforebutter – I am afraid to look. What in hell is the heel made of – tanned ectopic afterbirth?
Erratic, underperforming QB who nevertheless manages a winning streak based on a ridiculously strong defense? Surely, we all remember “Sexy” Rex-y Grossman and his trip to the Superbowl? Truly, Tebow is the Second Coming….
That came out bitter, his mom was a wonderful lady, although the morning reading of the Watchtower weirded me out some and I had to flee, left a business card.
PS. Mr. Bogg, sir:
Its not gay if I do it with that picture.
So here I sit in my loft looking at Mile High Stadium, I surf into Tbogg to read the godless haters and what to my eyes behold between the boggsnark and the comments but an internet ad for some Christian linky or another. If that is not a sign of the Tebow I don’t know what is. Da Bears will be done like Keanu Reeves did da devil in Constantine.
You’ll have to wait for the line of fresh foreskins coming after the next victory, where Tebow will ritually circumcise the offensive line in the locker room. Tebowmania, Inc. has contracted for these foreskins. We are committed to delivering only the best.
P.S. We had thought of these for a line of reliquary pendants, but we go where the demand is, and if it’s boots we’re happy to oblige.
There’s some lovely Bible story about bears eating a bunch of doubters. I don’t know how that could apply here, but Le Thibault better be right with God or he’s toast. Also, too: Baldhead!
Unless Chicago’s defense and special teams step up and make some big plays, we are looking at another “W” in Denver’s column. Timmeh is the luckiest NFL player alive.
Sid Luckmann wore number 42. These must be the End Times, I tells ya.
Jeebus help me, did Bruni use Preparation H for lip gloss this morning?
it’s not gay if it’s with tebow unless you’re frank bruni then it’s gay, Gay, GAY!
The Ravens dropped Dilfer after winning the Super Bowl and haven’t won since. Coincidence? Or did the Ravens have a defense of historical greatness?
The football aspect of Tebow is easy to explain. He’s got the 10th best qb rating in the NFL, yes doesn’t have enough playing time yet to qualify…but Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Roethlisberger, Schaub, Manning, Smith, Stafford, Romo are the only ones rated higher. Denver’s great D is rated 24th in yards allowed and 23rd in points allowed. They’ve played better since Tebow took over mainly because Tebow never puts them in a horrible position. They gave up 500 yards and 32 points to an AP less Minnesota team…that’s a hideous defensive game. They got turnovers which is good. Tebow has yet to lose them a game. I have no clue what his future is. an 0-4 record their last 4 would not shock me nor would 4-0. It’s been fun, but from a football aspect, he’s simply played pretty well, and that should be the only story.
also, too, the big tebowski:
VOICE: HEY!
The Elway and Fox look.
Juicebox Jesús is bellowing from the edge of the field and is restrained by Von Miller.
JUICEBOX JESÚS: What’s this “flex schedule nbc sunday night” shit, man?!
Fox looks at him innocently.
JUICEBOX JESÚS: What’s this bullshit? I don’t fuckin’ care! It don’t matter to Jesus. But you’re not foolin’ me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don’t fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man – ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Sunday afternoon. I fuck you in the ass Sunday night instead.
He makes hip-grinding circumcision motions as Von Miller leads him away.
JUICEBOX JESÚS: Woo! You got a date Sunday, baby!
Fox, his head cocked, and the Elway, peeking over his shades, watch him go.
FOX: He’s cracking.
AGain, I don’t care if people don’t like him, but if you’re gonna talk football, talk football. HE used Dilfer as a comp, and states his 76.6 qb rating in the snark. Tebow’s qb rating is 87.9 I believe…a significant difference from Dilfer. He brought up 48 percent as the only TEbow stat worth mentioning. And simply made fun of his 1 int with the great intellectual Joe Theisman. I undertand the making fun of him, but from a pure football aspect the guy’s been absolutely fine playing qb this year. I think there is every chance this is the peak of Tebow’s career, but I’m not willing to say it is a 100 percent chance of that yet. Derek Anderson once made the pro bowl too after all!! For anyone to say he has not played pretty darn well at various times this season is lying to themselves.
I want some of those black eye glare thingies with “Matthew 6.5″ on them.
QB rating is one of stupidest measuring sticks around…..
Oh, Jesus has plenty of playing time in, it’s that a QB has to throw a minimum of 14 passes/game to qualify.
See how tricky Satan is requiring a QB to toss the rock a massive 14 times per game minimum?
While Mr. Theezmann makes some sense, it would be unwise, man, for those who would thusly waiver to put their faith in the hands of the hand so the man who once chased Hiizeman.
(before he moved to godless Canuckistan)
.
tboww will continue to improve. the game is slowing down for him and he’s figuring out what he can and can’t do. he’s gonna keep winning, kids. nobody fucks with the juicebox!
If Timmy wins three consecutive Super Bowls in a row (you know, one Super Bowl for each part of the Trinity) then I will become a born-again Christian. It’s all on you Timmy to save my atheist ass from the eternal fires of perdition!
My Christmas Card to my fellow TBoggians.
In lieu of actually buying them and mailing them and shit.
I hope it is On Topic that the Jets are absolutely destroying KC right now and that Sanchez has 181 yards and has run for one TD and passed for two more. I really thought this would be a much closer game.
I agree that this isn’t going to be any kind of game later on, but the Giants need all of the help.
Thanks sbruin!
The artist’s rendition of Juicebox preparing his born-out-of-wedlock child for shipping to The Chinese Labor Camps where it will be mistaken for a fetus, or even a huge grub, and eaten is quite touching.
I’m pulling for Denver to make it to this year’s Super Bowl to face The Packers.
That has nothing to do with team loyalty or such silly shit. I just want to read TBogg’s “The Roger-ing of Juicebox Jesus” post!
Oh, that is SO AWESOME
Well, take it from a recovered (yes, no longer in recovery, now fully recovered) Redskins fan. If The Tead One doesn’t put up at least 250 yards in passing next week, then the joke’s on his sorry ass.
Rex Grossman (he of the 70 point or so career QB rating, or close to that, or something), the one and only Rex Grossman threw for over 300 against the NFL’s 32nd ranked defense today.
Still lost of course, I mean these ARE the Redskins, but dood threw the ball today mostly to the guys wearing the same colored shirt as him. And that’s a major step up. It must’ve been easy against that defense.
So if this clown can’t at least get to 250 next week against this sorry ass excuse for a defense, then God himself needs to tell him to STFU.
Thanks the Lord he showed up in the Pats-Redskins today. Jeebus made the Redskin receiver commit offensive pass interference, thus negating a touchdown that would have given the godless Redskins a tie or a win if they’d gone for the 2 point conversion. I wonder which side he’ll be helping next week when the Pats play the Broncs?
Expiring minds need to know — was Cletus just Tebowing there?
1st Quarter update: 0-0
Jesus is suckering the Bears in by “acting” totally befuddled, especially with a pass that makes it 15 yards down field before turning over like a punt (that was awesome!)
Ruh roh, Jeebus just said some magic words…
EDIT: Personal Foul, Illegal Contact to The Chosen One, 15 Yards, FIRST DOWN!
Book Salon up with Vanessa Williamson’s The Tea Party and the Remaking of Republican Conservatism hosted by Paul Street
Oh So Sacred QB Rating update:
Juicebox is on fire!
3/9*, 45 yards, 3 sacks, 1 INT, 0 TD, QB Rating = 50.7
* In all fairness, a couple of those passes looked more like punts than passes, adding to Juicebox’ AllPurposeToolbox.
Juicebox grabs leg (faking an injury) while looking pleadingly at ref.
10 Commandments fail.
Two minute warning: 0 – 0. God’s away on business.
3 of 13 45 yards. Aaron Rogers throw for 45 yards while taking a poop.
I used to have a horse that could do that.
Bet that makes getting on his knees and thanking Jeebus after a TD awkward…
Tom Waits channels Kurt Weill!
All you Tebow haters are missing the fact that at the half, he has thrown for more yards than any other quarterback in the game.
Honestly, it’s like you never want to give him credit for anything.
Credit where credit is due: more INTs than any other quarterback in game also, too.
Last 9 passes? 0/9
On the other hand, I have had my hand in as many scoring drives as Tim has today.
Good point.
We need to recognize and give him credit for being one of the top 5 quaterbacks on the field today in Denver.
Still scoreless five minutes into the 3rd quarter. At the risk of putting the jinx in, the last scoreless NFL game was in 1943.
Yes, he’s also the only one hovering around the 20% completion mark.
All Pro! All Pro!
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, my head, my head.
It hurts ssssoooooooooooo bad.
Please make it stop.
Bears just scored. That feels better.
3 for 16 QB rating: 13.5. For context, that is my mom’s career rating.
Your Mom playing for the home town girls (Chargers)? That explains a lot.
10-0 Bears.
Tebow Time!
Jesus drops the rock!
Bears 10-0!
Resurrection Time comes late, ya know….
Personally responsible for Schottenheimer getting fired.
Tim better go back and review the praylist….Jeebus may have been at the Packer’s game today.
I’m still calling a Broncos win. Ya gotta believe!
Brian Urlacher disagrees.
Sweet Jeebus I think I believe!
Prayers are answered as SweetJebus Tebow leads his team to
the promised landa touchdown with 3 minutes left.10-7.
The problem with the Bears is that they’re playing not to lose rather than to win. They keep running the ball and getting shit yardage hoping to run the clock down. All the Broncos need is a field goal and its back into OT again.
The Hand of God.
Baby Jesus disagrees with Brian Urlacher! LOL! Prater with the 59 yard FG!
As Gawd is my witness…
It’s good for the Donkeys that Tebow had God push Marion Barber III out of bounds, otherwise the bears following the Miami defensive plan wouldn’t have worked.
59 yards, Bears bitchez.
Unfuckingbelievable. Satan foiled again.
and then made Barber fumble. Way to go God
And yea, verily, THE LORD sayeth, “I will smite The Barber, and make him my tool, to my greater glory and the glory of my Chosen One, whom I love, but not in that way.” Praise Jeebus!
Om my Gawd Oh my Gawd Oh my Gawd
WTF?
And Elway wept. “Crap, we’re gonna have to keep him now, they’ll burn my house down otherwise.”
Touchdown Jesus. Amen.
do you believe? brother tbogg come to the light!
Tebow for President ’28. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Woe unto thee, O unbelievers. It will be worse for thee than if thou hadst never suited up.
So endeth National Faithball League Week XIV. Go forth and sin no more.
Jesus is fucking with you hard now, TBogg. Repent before this bastard goes to the Super Bowl.
*heh* I was uttering Alláh-u-Abhá as Prater split those uprights in OT for the providential victory…! ;-)
Apparently, God doesn’t care what language ya use…! ;-)
Please, please, TBogg, ya must continue with the Teblooding posts…! Allahu Akbar, even…! *g*
Our SweetJebus is headed for Hawaii before He wins the Superbowl.
Hopefully, as a Half Back and not a QB…! ;-)
I hate Denver, still it was an amazing comeback.
Friends, doubters:
Heh, heh. Tebowmania, Inc. never doubted and never once wavered. Besides, we are insured against any (Bronco) loss. Rest easy, everyone, orders will be filled and we’re adding an extra shift to start an exciting new line! Those not currently employed, go away. Others may apply to our manufacturing headquarters in Shanghai. The Prophet will keep us in profit. Besides, that other fella Jesus wasn’t a loser, y’know. But Tim is a winner’s winner, and a messiah’s messiah!
Spiking the ball with humility,
Tebowmania, Inc.
Whew! That was close…
~~~wipes sweat from brow~~~
…because another week without listening to Tebow-cultists is like a week without sunshine!
Who’s the next “victim”?
Amazing
Tebow not only wins football games, he scares the atheists into hiding under their beds.
LOL and a large smile :-)
And the fellows personal life shows that unlike most of us religious, he walks the walk every day of his life.
Man – I just feel the pain you are having! A guy so nice and good and faithful to that dreaded Christianity thing just has to have a big fall – or so many will not be happy.
Thanks for the post – first reason to smile the really big smile in a while.
Oh – he won on a 51 yard field goal in OT today :-) You have got to love it – or not! YMMV :-)
And papau shows up on cue.
(If there is a God, pappy, he doesn’t get out of the tub on Sunday afternoons. Day of rest and all that shit, right?)
The ant-Christ… Bill Belechick
Tonight’s sermon: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7319858/the-people-hate-tim-tebow
Shit dude, why’d you let them take your snark-o-meter?
I went downstairs after Denver lost the on-side kick and then I came back an hour later to see the SNF game and saw the score. WTF? I haven’t seen miracle wins like this since the ’85 Pats. Of course, that ended badly.
What? That punk Brady who let’s his leggy super model girlfriend style his hair? Seriously, if NE wants to be successful in this league they need a celibate QB, not some foo-foo pretty boy!
Put another X in the W column for Denver!
Go Denver! Bring on The Rogering!
LOL!
Yoo Hoo?
BearCountry where are you?
Ha! Well! That was a fun way to end a game. So much for Da Bears. Thank goodness. They’re Obama’s team anyway, so good riddance!
I saw Tebow after the game. He was asked when everybody started believing today, giving him a great opportunity to bring up Jesus’ hand in the game.
He didn’t. He talked about how the whole team believes in each other. Typical “it was a team effort that won” thing, which it actually was. With a little help from Chicago, which makes it more painful for Bears fans, always a good thing.
No doubt next week we’ll hear about how the Patriots are going to put Jeebus Boy in his place. Don’t count on it. New England has an abysmal record against the Broncos in general and playing in Denver in particular. That has nothing to do with Tebow; it’s just one of those weird football things.
Bibs? Do you make bibs?
TBogg: at some point, if this continues, you are going to become a believer. You can talk about their defense all you want, but he has driven them down the field in the closing seconds of games more than even Elway ever did.
The first few games I just wanted to see him crushed and humiliated and chased out of the NFL, but now I can’t help pulling for the guy. And a special thanks to Tim Tebow and the Broncos for putting the Bears a game behind the Lions in the wildcard race.
Did you know that Dick Cheney roots for the Broncs?
*heh* At least Condi Rice does…! ;-)
Bibs? Do you make bibs?
There is a sale on kneepads.
…but he has driven them down the field in the closing seconds of games more than even Elway ever did.
Bull Honky…! Just ask Cleveland about Elway’s heroics…! ;-)
Yeah, but I lived in Denver for a couple of decades, so I’ll apply the old double standard because I can and say I don’t care. It’s just a game, after all.
Besides, love ‘em or hate ‘em, the Broncos are one of those teams that are just fun to watch most years, unless you bet point spreads. I understand they have a habit of not covering when they are supposed to win and doing some other bad thing when they are supposed to lose, but I don’t gamble.
Anyway, I have friends in Denver. I’m happy they have something to cheer about. As for the NFC Central, my soft spot is for that team owned by the citizens of Green Bay, which Chicagoans sometimes arrogantly include when they refer to “Chicagoland.”
Once again, the Broncos defense comes through!
I predicted this two weeks ago, folks: Denver’s going to pick up a bunch of garbage wins against garbage teams who Denver’s D will have no problems containing. Only one team in the last six weeks of Denver’s schedule has had a better than .500 record, and that’s New England, who Denver faces next week. Denver’s going to the playoffs, all right. But:
Pay close attention to next week’s game, for that is where we will see how a low-scoring (-36 net points), stingy-defense team like Denver’s does against a 10-3 team with +122 net points and an out-of-conference record of 3-1. My guess is that this is where Tim Tebow shakes hands with Reality.
Even better: You’ll get to see next week’s game again, when Denver meets up with New England during the playoffs. And I expect the results to be similar. It won’t shut up the hardcore Juicebox worshipers — they’ll claim that “at least he took us to the playoffs” when in fact any starting college QB could have done as well with Denver’s defense throttling most subpar offenses out there — but the noise factor will have died off considerably.
Sweet! I was raised in Fort Collins, let out of First Baptist Church (another home of wife-swapping deacons and embezzling pastors) early to watch The Orange Crush in the 70′s, am a Colorado School of Mines alum and have relatives who are 40+-year season ticket holders (boxes, baby!) to the Donkies.
You know why JuiceBox didn’t talk about jeebuz after the game? Because he was told to STFU about jeebuz….
Man, what a buzz kill! (:
We’re hoping the Denver Tebows get a good Rogerin’ in The Super Bowl!
I’m a Vikings fan, and I love and admire Green Bay (which if you know Vikings and GB fans makes me a double traitor). I’m glad their city had the foresight to do what they did — a move so wonderful that the other owners pushed to outlaw it for all future teams.
The Packers are special because they and the city are one. They can no more go somewhere else than Vince Lombardi could grow a third eye. And I am so happy to see Aaron Rodgers beat another of Brett Who’s records today.
Hey, it’s all good. We either see him get his ass kicked once in the Super Bowl by Green Bay, or we see it get kicked twice by New England, or we see it get kicked once by New England and once by Green Bay.
Frontpaged again, eh? Yew rawk, TBogg.
can you imagine the hoopla if he’d done this 4th qtr comeback shit as a reincarnated abortion?
You know why JuiceBox didn’t talk about jeebuz after the game? Because he was told to STFU about jeebuz….
So all credit is due to those Northern Colorado/Denver heathens…? ;-)
Southern Colorado, and the Springs is certainly a lost cause…! *g*
As a Patriot True Believer, I sure hope they step up their game next week. They didn’t play all that well today and the defense was as porous as I’ve seen it. They were lucky that the Redskin’s last touchdwon was negated by an offense pass interference.
*heh* The Better Half(a Patsy fanatic) and I are so on for next weekend’s colossal annual match-up…! We’ll certainly find out how much Gawd favors his flock…! ;-)
wow! mndean@89 is taking sandwich board orders!
is it irresponsible not to speculate?
All of Colorado is small potatoes compared to The All Mighty NFL Marketing Department (unfortunately, because I really like pokums@114′s idea)….
It’s amazing how improbable victories can sway the ‘unBelievers’…! ;-)
I see now. This is why all those folks have gone hungry and those others died in natural disasters…Jeeebus been doing the heavy lifting of pulling Tehbow through to a victory. The tsunami? He was resting up after getting you your contract ‘bow…Way to get in the way of the Savior helping the downtrodden Tim.
heh – think i meant resurrected (not reincarnated)… not that there’s that much diff (from a fellow sauced bronciac)
on edit — to gunsbeforebutter@119
*heh* Well-sauced is the only way to watch the Donkeys, these days, and maintain any sense of sanity…! Trust me, I’m also a Cardiac Sox fanatic…! I’m Well-Schooled in Gawd’s fickle ways…! ;-)
That would be blasphemous! Go away.
*mutter* Bibs! When our clean, upright, saintly Tebow is to be worshiped chastely…
.
.
…we sell bibs under a different label and they’re behind the counter, perv.
Blow-up dolls?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I should modify that.
Not JuiceBox Jesus blow-up dolls with his pretty mouth and bulging arms and naughty manly…., ahem, what? I meant pukums’ reconstituted fetus blow-up dolls….
New item, hopefully available before the Patriot game. Two versions, a standing “pitcher” and a kneeling “catcher”. As tastefully rendered as all our other items, of course. Mail-order only and limited numbers. Sorry, only one of each to a customer. To all outward appearance the package will look to be an NFL jersey gift box.
Fetus dolls? An area we thought might look very big, but we’ve run into production problems. It was not possible to obtain the “amniotic fluid” except in a glow-in-the-dark lime green, and the QC was spotty. Our research found it was a novelty “snot” product over 20 years old that the original manufacturer was attempting to palm off on us.
Butt bibs available?
Best Regards,
Rick Santorum
Mr. Santorum, I am surprised at you not communicating through the crypted-nay annel-chay. You have an account with us, just tell us your needs and we’ll knock them out instanter. Was the last 100 gross not sufficient?
Smoooooooth skinned female hotty blow-ups available?
Pies Up,
Herman Cain
I may be back next week, but I’ve just had a meeting. The Holy Mother Church sent an emissary. The Pope himself, Goodell XLVI, has summoned me and has intimated the messiah himself will be there, taking precious time away from passing lessons. The Pope is livid and grumbling about “licensing”, while the messiah is serenely beatific. They are chartering a small private plane for me and will not disclose the destination, except to say it is a far better place.
Sleep will not come easy tonight, but we will fill all orders placed before midnight Pacific time. Order now, before it’s too late. My family expects the yacht serviced and polished weekly and those things don’t pay themselves. Please don’t let them be thrown on the street with merely $172 million to their name!
Mr. Santorum, I have sent a urgent message by the usual crypted-nay annel-chay. DO NOT FAIL ME!
“palm snot”… too late for discount holiday sales?
Of one thing you may be certain.
Much like the league put the fix in when the Steelers played the Seahawks so that Jerome Bettis could get a ring, they’ll do the same for Timmy if the broncos get to the big one.
As far as Tebow goes, though?
Hatin’s bad.
Honestly, I’d prefer Timmeh praying out loud outside my bedroom window at 5 AM six days a week to having to read another word of Bruni’s.