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Not so fast there...
The only thing worse than the serial baby-pooping hillbilly Duggar couple handing out creepy miscarried baby photos at a memorial service would be the name they gave to the aforementioned miscarried baby:
Jubilee Shalom Duggar.
That is just awful.
The Duggars are about four babies past the “Jesus wants us to have a quiverfull” stage and it seems like every Jim-Bob hump from that point on has been done with one eye on the Lord and the other on their ratings. Michelle Duggar is forty-five and she must loves the attention so much that she is willing to play chicken with Jesus or fate by continuing to use her uterus like an out of control Pez dispenser:
Studies say that from 10% to 25% of pregnancies will end in miscarriage, according to the American Pregnancy Assn. Most miscarriages occur relatively early, in the first 13 weeks of pregnancy, or roughly around the first trimester.
For that reason, “we usually like to wait well into the second trimester to announce a pregnancy,” said Jamie Lipeles, an OB-GYN at Marina del Rey Hospital, when the occurrence of a miscarriage is much lower. That way, women who lose a pregancy within 13 weeks will be less likely to face unwanted questions.
There are many reasons why miscarriages occur, and it’s often hard to understand why they happen in individual cases. But there are several risk factors, including but not limited to excessive caffeine intake, exposure to radiation and hormonal problems.
One significant risk factor is age, Lipeles said, adding that it’s also a risk factor for premature birth; Duggar’s last child was born three months premature and had to stay in the hospital for four months, according to The Times’ Ministry of Gossip.
“Women older than age 35 have a higher risk of miscarriage than do younger women,” the Mayo Clinic explains. “At age 35, you have about a 20 percent risk. At age 40, the risk is about 40 percent. And at age 45, it’s about 80 percent.” Paternal age plays a role as well.
Miscarriages can take many forms; some may require treatment to stop hemorrhaging, while others may occur without a woman even realizing at first.
Who knows. Maybe God is already telling Jim-Bob and Michelle to go ahead and try again, take one for the team. Lord (yes him) knows that a Very Special “19 Kids and Counting: Mommy Is With The Angels Now” episode would bring in boffo ratings….
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Shameless attention whores.
Had a secretary at an old job years back who built a little angel shrine to a miscarried baby. Creepy as hell… She also had a young son, who had to vie for attention with the fetus. Crazy shit…
So, who’s the first with a Photoshopped Pez dispenser shaped like a uterus? Kramer?
Interesting tags on this one…
Are people who watch this show comparable to those who go to car races to anticipate the big crashes? So they’re waiting to see how badly Michelle can ruin her health? Or worse?
Tempting fate, indeed.
I don’t get it. But, of course, I don’t have any kids, so I suppose ethat’s no surprise.
In Mississippi this almost became a criminal matter instead of a personal loss.
“Pro-life” people deliberately conceiving babies on top of what amounts to a time bomb. Do. not. get.
The woman’s womb is a weak, overstressed death trap. I wonder how much blood she lost when her incompetent musculature didn’t clamp her vessels as efficiently as they should have. Apparently “God wants” her sick, wrung out, psychologically tormented and grief-stricken.
And she’s probably going to carry the next one to the Pearly Gates personally. Because “God wants it.”
:: shaking head :: It’s bad enough when people die for their own stupid choices in life, but I HATE it when those stupid choices take others with them/leave their children behind in bewildered pain.
OT–Soem of you know I’m a high school teacher. I got my kids writing essays in class and they begged–flat out begged–to have music playing while they work. Trouble is, the kids ask for specific songs where the half the class thinks great and the other half says the music sucks. What to do while breaking school rules, what to do…
I put on GirlTalk. This has the dual effect of reducing complaints to zero while getting the kids happy and typing. I think I’ll break school rules on every essay I assign.
Back on topic–the Duggar parents? Glad not to know them.
I’ve always wondered about that “quiverfull” terminology. Is the metaphor what it sounds like, that they want a whole series of kids so they have plenty of weapons to fire at teh evil seculars? Because that…that’s like ten times creepier than it would be otherwise.
That’s weird. Maybe it’s just different where I am, but I graduated high school in ’09 and asking that from a teacher would have gotten you laughed at. Times, a-changin’, etc.
Suggestion: Try Awolnation. All the beats but without the language.
Know little about either tv show, but always seemed to me that at least that scary-weird Mommy Dearest Kate Gosselin made no bones about being a huge media whore in it for the money. Don’t like it but at least, insofar as I know, there’s less hypocrisy involved.
The Duggars seem more scary-weird, like they get off in some weird kinky way on knowing that their “fans” know when they have sex or something (eewwwww). But then wrap it all up in Jesus-wants-us-to-do-this nonsense. And yeah: lotsa religulous nonsense but not so secretly negotiating for ever more money. Ratings sweep if the Mrs. buys the farm with the next one (not such an unlikely scenario, sad to say)… whilst her “fans” weep with joy at the “mystery” of “God’s plan.”
I would say: What is WRONG with these people?? But anymore, it’s just the new “normal” in Team USA.
“This Is So Wrong”
Which begs the question, “What kind of God would allow this to happen?!”
The answer, of course, is that God has nothing to do with it. It’s simply more of the Americanidolization of this country where anybody will do anything to get on teevee.
As if that validates one’s life.
What’s even creepier than the memorial service/naming a fetus that didn’t make past the 3 month mark is that she didn’t even know she had miscarried until a regular doctor visit. So it’s almost as if God Himself plucked little Jubilee Shalom whole from the womb.
Whoever upthread who said they’re glad they’ve never met the Duggars…I wish I shared your good fortune. I HAVE met Jim Bob; he served as a state legislator here for a couple of terms, such is the wisdom of Arkansas voters, and if there was ever a guy who needed to restrain himself from spreading around his DNA, it would be Jim Bob. The motherfucker (literally) is, in a word, GOOFY. Not just dumb, but downright goofy stupid. He used to bring the whole clan to the Capitol, back when they only had about 12 kids, and they’d all be dressed in matching outfits. Even back then, 10 years ago when Michelle was still a relatively young woman, her figure most closely resembled a rectangle, thanks to pooping out all those babies. Also, they’re in the “women shouldn’t cut their hair” camp, so her hair was down to her ass…at least one little rattail part of it; the rest of it had broken off/split well above her ass, leaving just a sad, frizzy remnant that decreased in volume from her upper back on down. I’m not familiar with the part of the Bible that says women should be slovenly and ill-kempt, so that fetish is just as mysterious to me as the whole “poop out as many babies as possible before you die/start murdering them” doctrine.
My first thought when my daughter told me little Jubilee Shalom’s name was that God was merciful nipping her in the bud so she wouldn’t have to carry the cross of that name around for life.
Yes. I’m a bad person.
Maybe the lesson should be that once TEH LORD has blessed you with grandchildren, it’s time to stop trying to have more children. Just a thought.
“The concept of the Jubilee is a special year of remission of sins and universal pardon. In the Biblical Book of Leviticus, a Jubilee year is mentioned to occur every fifty years, in which slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would be forgiven and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest.”
Whenever I hear of the Duggars it reminds me of a friend of mine years ago who was a med student. He did an ob/gyn rotation in Ireland where they also believe it’s God’s will to keeping making babies until you drop.
He helped deliver a woman’s 13th child.
He told us about it and said he would never forget what she looked like “down there” after all those pregnancies.
“It was like a bag of worms.”
Never forgot that myself.
I could so easily have passed into death without ever hearing that description. Thanks for sharing.
Um, no. Not really. This isn’t a murder/suicide, Julia. All Mrs. Duggar needs to do is say no. Nobody is making her conceive another child. Short of rape, this is her choice as well as his.
Now for the children, on the other hand, you’ve got a point…but I’m afraid their lives were ruined the moment they were born into the family of this bunch of born-again hyperbreeding, money-grubbing bottom feeders. Mom kicking it because she doesn’t know when to say when would just be the dollop of whipped cream on the ice-cream and shit sundae for those poor kids.
My mom was the oldest of 8 in dust bowl Oklahoma. She resented her parents for the rest of her life for the amount of responsibility she was saddled with as a teenager in terms of acting as surrogate parent for her younger siblings. And they had the excuse of being in the days before legal birth control, and in depression Oklahoma. Trust me. By the time this is done, at least some of those 20 will tell ma and pa to fuck off and die.
The same will happen when TebowMania dies….
The way I see it, they were just trying to support the “99%” who are underwater on their mortgages or crushed by student loans, and “Cramdown Shalom” didn’t fit in with their “everyone’s name begins with J” plan.
Breeding past 45 will very likely mean producing kids with Downs Syndrome, but I’m sure that won’t stop these clowns.
If the Dr. advised against another baby, would that be premeditated murder? If they give it another go with the same results, would she be considered a serial killer? Just how do they plan to keep an eye on these blasto-citizens? Webcams in the bedroom?
Here’s a number for you…if 30MM couples have 20 kids, and 60% of each these kids marry, have 20 kids, and repeat, and repeat….in 4 generations you’d have a trillion citizens! Praise Jesus! Drown the government in the bathtub, arm everyone, and we’d have the conservative vision for America – the United States of Somalia.
Hey, the Catholics here used to believe that until about the mid 60s (*cough*when the Pill became available*cough*). My mom told me a story once about a Catholic couple who were friends of her and pop who had nine kids – this was in the days where families could afford to do that without holding fundraisers, you understand. The Pill came out and the woman told her husband that she was done, she was going on the Pill and if he objected he was never touching her again (unspoken, if he did try to touch her she’d turn him into a soprano). One of the lmited cases where “America, fuck yeah!” really was appropriate. The Irish Catholic hierarchy have got a lot to be ashamed of, between financial manipulations, the Magdalene laundries, fucking little kids…and guilt tripping women into having babies until they dropped dead, in a lot of cases literally.
I think that’s a big part of it. Apparently, God, the all powerful creator of the universe, needs fundie Christians to breed an army for him.
That’s exactly it.
“blastocitizens”
That coinage wins an Internet! Where would you like it delivered?
And TBogg’s “..uterus like an out-of-control Pez dispenser”? Comedy. Gold.
Thank you both for the smilez. I sure as FSM needed ‘em!
“One of you kids get that, will you?” —Monty Python’s Meaning of Life
So what are the names of the others? Do they save the goombah names for the dead ones?
The Duggars are probably the best example of why “breeding” shouldn’t be a fundamental right. At the very least a written test should be required–you know, sort of like a driver’s license?