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In honor of the Late Great Jon Swift, Batocchio at Vagabond Scholar is once again picking up where Jon left off and asking bloggers to submit a link to what they believe was their best post of the year. Since I don’t read me because I find myself to be profane and unfair and juvenile and jejune with slight undertones of oak and cruelty , I thought I’d let you guys make suggestions in the comments since you probably spend most of your time reading blogs while at work anyway and, besides, it’s not like anything is getting done this week what with Christmas coming up, so you might as well spend your time doing this instead with the added bonus of providing yourself with a great feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day as opposed to the usual going home in the evening and drinking yourself unconscious in a futile attempt to escape spiraling downward into a deep pit of despair over how all the decisions you have made up until this point have led you to this sad and desolate place where all of your dreams and hopes lie in tatters at your feet. Darkness. Nothingness. Why go on…
Besides, it will be fun. And fun is good.
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The easy part would be re-reading the 895 posts that you did the past year…the hard part would be picking out the best one in the lot of 887 (you did have a few clunkers). How about you choosing your top 20? (we know you keep a list of your favorites, you probably gave them Duggar-type names) Either that, or I’m going with a random date and picking one.
Something with a bag of salted dicks as a chaser would do….
Damn Tbogg, How do you know that much about me? I didn’t post that shit on Facebook. Does Tbogg load Carrier IQ on my computer? You’re creeping me out.
I’m voting for this one.
I would have said undertones of soiled hardwood floor and basset ear, but “oak” will do.
Only a naive domestic blog without any breeding, but I’m amused by its presumption.
(If anyone actually gets that reference, you get extra points which will help make up for the fact that you’re old)
TBogg: Your computer apparently ran out of periods again. Check with UncertaintyVicePrincipal as I think he just stocked up.
Something with a bag of salted dicks as a chaser would do….
Only bags of dicks seasoned with the finest Himalayan salt are worth considering.
This is my favorite:
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/08/16/its-all-fun-and-games-until-sarah-palin-shits-on-your-chest/
My vote is for the first of the Atlas Shrugged Part I series, that set the table for the TBogg snark-o-rama that followed over several months.
It’s the written equivalent of dribbling. So you know, be kind, it’s tough enough reaching that stage without having people actually noticing.
I actually found that cartoon by the way.
Pick a favorite tboggasm? Hell, no. That’d be like choosing between my kids and my dog, and I’m not going there. All your posts rock (except for the token few that sucked a bit, but like Tebow’s God, we forgive you), and if it weren’t for your snark I’d just be spending even more time watching internet prOn or shopping for cheap Canadian Viagra (hard-on, eh?), so you really should be in the public service category…
Thurber.
I’m old enough to catch that, and you made me giggle!
Way too many to pick from. You would almost have to break it down by genre. McMegan, Ann of Franzia, Snobilly, Just Say No Douthat, etc..
Since this is a team effort, I did enjoy Need to Fap. Please, where young Aaron Worthing was lured into the comment section.
But I’m going to go with Death of a Ladies Man. It had everything. Brilliant snark by our Demonic Overlord and a butthurt fapper at the exact moment he it becomes clear that the grift was on and he doesn’t actually own the Brooklyn Bridge. You could almost hear Ziegler’s heart snap in half when he realizes that SnoSnooky views him on par with a wetknap after a plate hot wings.
It sums up the wingnut psyche beautifully.
Whoops. Bad link for the first. Need to Fap here.
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/03/06/john-galts-lonesome-libertarian-lament/
In the meantime he’s a mouth piece for a wealthy industrialist
It’s really not his first choice but he is a realist
Thank God he has a good idea whose ass he is has to kiss
Gawd. That’s quite a task you’ve set us, there Mr. TBogg.
My favorite, favorite posts are naturally, basset-related, but they are not generally snarky. Except perhaps about the fate of being a basset parent, but still.
Well, I have all week, right? I shall have to put some thinking into it.
On edit: mail just arrived, providing further proof that I am old – a fat envelope from our local expensive funeral home. I presume it’s all about “pre-planning”, which is no doubt reasonable, but as I can’t afford it anyway, I simply dropped the envelope into the trash basket. Sigh.
That’s a nice xmas card, eh: “dead yet? we can help.” Talk about cold calling…
Oh, and inb4 this.
I echo the eeriness cited above, re: “what else have I got to do?”:
Quit fuckin’ spying on me!
Hmm. I’m thinking the community here deserves a “comment thread of the year” for which I’d support the Aaron Worthless Fapping one, but I’m not sure that it’s actually TBogg’s best work, just the post that provoked the best response. Is this a distinction without a difference? I shall ponder. You have not heard the last from me (as AW might have said and probably did).
Well played, sir!
Regular TBogg readers with their own blogs are welcome to participate and e-mail me their best posts of 2011.
But, surely, Mr Bogg, your esteemed commentariat only really sprang to life (so to say)at your post introducing Shakira’s ass to the masses?Surely this was a seminal (oops) post?
Ah, so you have been here, lurking, for some time, eh? It was just the questions about (American) football that brought you out into the light?
That said, if we’re going to nominate a comment, or comment thread, I need a lot more than a week. UncertaintyVicePrincipal and gunsbeforebutter might have a bit of a head start…but there is something about TBogg’s snark that brings out the best snark in his commenters.
To Thingwarbler…thanks so for the Monty Python bit – apparently I’d missed that one. I do admire the British undertakers’ top hats, complete with rear veil. Do they still wear those, I wonder? An undying tradition, much like those itchy horsehair lawyers’ wigs?
OT, but OMG! You made me go looking around to see if those hats like Graham Chapman is wearing in the sketch are still de rigeur, and look what I found:
(just the pix, not the gist of the story)
http://paulandmariansinclair.com/2011/09/24/funeral-directors-in-high-visibility-jackets/
Who knew?
How awesome is that? When I go, I am *so* going in a motorcycle hearse.
This is the paragraph that made me a daily TBogg reader:
Then Bristol complained about how her future baby daddy stole her innocence by plying her with Bartles & Jaymes (snowbilly champagne) and afterward they pinky-swore a solemn blood oath to never ever have sex again until they were united in the eyes of White Jesus, and that lasted until there was nothing to do, what with it being Wasilla and all, and they were suckin’ on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze and Levi was all “Dribble off those Bobby Brooks and let me do what I please plow you like a snow-choked Salmon River Road ” (snowbilly poetry) and Bristol finished off her fifth chili dog and said “Whatev’s” and wedged herself into the backseat of Levi’s Ford Escort. Then, next thing you know, Bristol was knocked up before getting married (just like her mom!) and she pooped out possibly her second child and this somehow made her role model for abstinence to the kind of people who will pick up her book along with 5-gallon tubs of Cheezy-Bacon Corn Syrup Puffs at Wal-Mart because Bristol Palin’s life is like a fairytale or something.
But with meth.
The end.
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/06/21/bristol-palins-airing-of-grievances/
Yeah, that’s it. Snarkmeister Thurber in (fairly mild for him) mid-swipe. The style was drier in them days.
There’s actually something far more sympathetic about the guy than I remembered. When I hear the line quoted I always think of it as someone trying pretentiously to impress everyone, but the way it’s drawn he looks more like he gets genuine pleasure from the whole thing and sincerely hopes they take it all as obsessively as he does and admire the little wine’s pluck.
Thurber was great. Just another reminder of how and why.
Submitted humbly for your consideration: Post of the Year.
Well, according to me, anyway.
Sorry for all the links, people, but my fellow TBoggians and the man T himself will, I can say with confidence, enjoy this: Charles Pierce on Tim Tebow.
Go read.
Second to this pick! And add some salted dicks too. Or a basset boner. Whatever.
re Pierce: Pretty on point except the odd “all he really has established in his career is that he’s a rookie quarterback” comment. That “rookie” thing is part of the different (lower) standard 2nd year player Juicebox Jesus is held to by much of the media (and fan base).
Brady and The Patriots stuck a pin in the TebowManiaBalloon and the airwaves are fresher today because of it, not to mention the intertubes also, too….
Oh, fuck what I wrote @28.
@25 is TBogg to a T.
ditto.
Tough to pick just one, though.
Easy. The 400+ comment Obama-FDL grudge match had it all. Trolls, wing nuts, Obots and some Grade A fucking snark.
Well, I can’t choose one from this year, but the one post I will always remember, one that convinced me, after having been a fan for at least a year, that you were a man after my rhetorical and curmudgeonly heart, in a non-gay, non-pinko, non-baby-eating kinda way (purely bromance) was when you described a woman ahead of you in line at your local green grocer who was wearing spandex and shouldn’t have been. Something along the lines of a puppy farm having a disco party in her legs. Sexist, perhaps, but it had me ROTFLMAO, and when I read it to my wife, I could hardly get through it for laughing.
Choosing a single “best” entry of the hundreds of wonderful ones you’ve written is like being asked to pick the best book that has ever been written. If we were all right wing nut jobs, we could pick THE BIBLE or Megan McArdle’s cook book but alas…
But since they’re all good, I guess picking one isn’t the end of the world.
So here are three recent ones I nominate:
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/12/07/i-flaunt-therefore-i-am
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/11/16/didnt-you-used-to-be-somebody/
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/10/28/if-it-werent-for-double-standards-wed-have-no-standards-at-all/
tejaranusa (sp?). I am a longtime lurker and devourer of the left blogosphere;I just very rarely have anything to contribute. Why, I was loving ol’ TBogg before he made the Great Trek over to these here premises.But I ain’t very articulate, so keep a low profile.
“But I ain’t very articulate, so keep a low profile.”
Don’t let that stop you. I know it doesn’t stop me…..
Out for 9 days gang–going to Colorado where my brother is apparently going to try to get me to go skiing, bless his heart. I’m thinking of snowshoeing, myself.
Earlier, I nominated “If it weren’t for double standards” which would be post of the year in any other year, IMHO, were it not for the unforgettable shot at Bristol after she wrote her book. My own opinion is that anyone new to TBogg has to read that post first. If said new reader recoils in horror and starts talking about picking on poor Bristol and standards and shit, that’s not someone who gets TBogg. It gets my vote.
Happy Holidays to each and every TBoggian. Pray to Tebow I don’t break anything. :)
Okay—and you be careful, too, on those snowshoe thingies.
(I’ve been skiing, once, also in CO, many years ago. Do you know how to fall down without hurting yourself? Is there lots of nice powdery [not hard crusty] snow to fall in?)
Umm, one hint, learned the hard way – be sure to take real ski wear, that is, to say, waterproof. Jeans are really not the best thing to wear in the snow when you know you will absolutely be falling down in it.
I have to echo that bit of advice. Every hiking book I ever read warned people away from jeans — they soak up water like a sponge and completely lose any insulative* value they have in the process. And that is one thing you don’t need out in the snow.
*My spell checker says this isn’t a word, but I don’t believe it. I have been known to be wrong on more than one occasion about this sort of thing, though.