Shut the fuck up and keep sucking Tiff…, er Calista!

Here’s Callista on a scouting expedition to the White House.

If she got her face redone so it had more room inside, her brain might actually function again. (It can’t be fun having skin two sizes too small for your innards.)

PJ–

It’s the Grinch Face Effect!

.

Hey photoshoppers, can you do the thing with her eyes like you did with the Palin family? Or would that be gilding the lily?

Light’s on, nobody’s home.

Hey, Meg McCain isn’t a big fan of Calista, either. Really lit into her for being …. just like her mother!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/20/meghan-mccain-unleashes-o_n_1161179.html

Yes that…and a lizard tongue. Little fly buzzing across the screen, then out comes the tongue.

That expression is what happens when you plug the vibrator into the dryer outlet by mistake.

Srsly… you really feel the need to Photoshop that God-given gift to snark? I mean, sure a 3rd eye like Sauron’s, or a targeting device for the lasers in her corneas might make the picture more intriguing for some, but the raw, unadulterated beauty of that shot is an awesome thing to behold.

There was a very worthy effort over at WaterTiger’s place a few days ago:
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_renegade/2011/12/someone-just-got-a.html

I’d genuinely love to see a before/after comparison. You know, what she looked like back when she was a run of the mill republican congressional intern/hooker vs. today’s trophy wife, if by “trophy” you mean the scarcely human botox monster pictured above.

She looked normal in a young, blonde way back in the early days of trophyism.

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j290/kailuasands/CallistaNewtGingrich.jpg

Posted this on other blogs before.

Newt looks the same–smug and … the same.

She’s only 45 now and looks petrified (in more ways than one).

Wow. Just. Wow.

I suppose she thinks she looks better now?

In her soul, Callista knows Newt doesn’t love her, he’s a serial adulterer. She’s just ego-stroking.

That’s why the botox. Even the faintest wrinkle is a railroad line across her face. Almost feel sorry for someone who lives in that kind of terror. After Newt loses the nomination, I give her five more years. Tops.

Heh, I doubt she thinks she looks better, just more helmet, bleached(badly)-blond-haired as her man’s second-in-arms, ready for the in-coming! Seriously, she even looks pretty natural on her Wikipedia pic.

I don’t know–”Calista” means “most beautiful” in Greek, but her beauty and Newt’s poll results seem to be heading in the wrong direction.

I’d defend her from she’s-all-ugly criticism is she let herself be! She might actually look, if not be, nice.

Now I know what all those Georgetown & American U girls I used to party with back in the day,the ones who got the jobs on the Hill look like now. If they married some rich toad, that they met on the Hill, that is.

Kathleen Parker is that perfect combination of moronic and evil, the kind where it doesn’t really even matter which is driving things because it comes out the same. Part of the Villager world in which “Hillary” came to mean “anything bad”. Just amazing.

oh my goodness…that captures the essence of Calista – a real nut cracker!

Oh, she just might outlast his ego, especially if his presidential bid goes down in flames. He’s getting too old to appeal to most golddiggers out there.

I just think it’s hilarious how she, good Catholic girl that she is, wanted to legitimize her adultery by getting Newt to have his previous marriages annulled — even though neither he nor his exes were Catholics when they married. “See? I’m not a homewrecker, I’m not!“

A very pretty girl and look how close she is to her grandfather…

Has anyone else noticed that she looks like the Chicken Lady from “Kids In The Hall”?

There’s something I’ve always wondered about Calista. As I understand Gingrich’s current meme about his tendancy to commit adultery – he’s now converted to Catholicism and attoned for his “sins” so he’s a good guy now. But wait – what about Calista? wasn’t she a “good Catholic girl” during thse 6 years when she was banging the then-clearly married Newtie? I guess that means that being a Catholic has nothing to do with your moral compass after all, then?

I am waiting for someone to ask Mrs. G about that

abby

He’s getting too old to appeal to most golddiggers out there.

Nah! Have to disagree. Trophy-types will go for Newt until the *bitter* disgusting end bc Newt is RICH. Lookit Anna Nicole Smith, for ex.

As long as Newt has MONEY and a semblence of power (which he’s quite good at maintaining), Newticles will *attract* lotsa young hot stuff who, like Anna Nicole, will suck him off fleece him for all they can whilst getting down on their knees to suck him off to pray for his early demise.

Wait ‘n see…

That earlier photo of Calista compared with the more recent version is a morality tale entitled: Wherein behold what happens to you when you make a pact with the devil.

Every time I see that picture I can’t help but think ol’ Newtie just stuck his thumb in Callista’s but. Or maybe a shocker.

What’s this?

Last weekend, while other candidates were polishing the doorknobs of Iowa voters

Hmmmm, polishing knobs, were they? Wonder if any Santorum got spilled in the process.

Jesus H Tapdancing Christ on a Crutch, TB – I was in no way ready for that horror. I damn near choked to death on my coffee. You for damn sure better post Shakira’s “my-reason-for-living-or-at-least-for-reading-this-blog” hypnotically rotating bottom every single day next week to make up for it!

Do you think Newticles has ever made her explode?

And such a natural hair color.

>She looked normal in a young, blonde way back in the early days of trophyism.

>http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j290/kailuasands/CallistaNewtGingrich.jpg

That is so frickin sad.

Today she is barfingly botoxed, taking too much thyroid hormone, and has bleached her hair so excessively she has had to plasticize it into a semblance of Dynel™ just to make sure it doesn’t start breaking off and littering the carpet like a collie shedding her undercoat in April.

And the nose job makes her look rather like a bird of prey.

Looking into someone’s soul can be dicey — not that with Newt it isn’t glaringly obvious. But that he (and Robert Novak, for f*ck’s sake!) converted to Catholicism is just so wrong.

“Here, let me use your broken, bleeding body as a step while I climb into my Lexus.” Have these guys ever even read the New Testament? Or the Old? Lots of stuff there about the shit-storm awaiting those who screw over widows, orphans, the poor, the hungry and strangers (i.e., illegals). How about a Christmas miracle, God? Smite this smug s.o.b.

Callista can watch.

And the nose job makes her look rather like a bird of prey.

Absolutely. A touch of the owlish end of the spectrum, with the eyes.

The thing about Roman Catholics is that they’ve never seen any contradiction in juxtaposing glittering wealth and abject poverty. It’s a distinguishing characteristic of the denomination. Pearl-encrusted popes blithely blessing stinking masses of peasants.

Absolutely. One of my favorite themes in this season’s Boardwalk Empire was how Father Brennan is clearly portrayed as just another one of the gangsters, shaking down Margaret for Nucky’s money.

Great post, TBogg. Again.

Kathleen nails it with helmet haired. Calista’s hair wouldn’t move in a category 5 hurricane. Oh, and she’s also correct about the rest of what she said. Calista would be hard to like.

Novak and Gingrich pervert Groucho: They’d gladly convert to a religion that would accept them as a member.

check this out

Too funny. I preferred her old look.

I was thinking the same thing: that he might have blown so much compressed air into the doll that it exploded before he could.

wasn’t she a “good Catholic girl” during thse 6 years when she was banging the then-clearly married Newtie?

173,000 Hail Marys and she’s clear.

People who convert to Catholicism, as opposed to being dunked in it during infancy, and who gladly learn and sign up to all the doctrinal shit that most cradle Catholics happily ignore… those people are weird and, frankly, not to be trusted. I’ll add Tony fucking Blair to that list.

It’s bad enough that both parties are thoroughly corrupt but this post contributes nothing. It is hateful and a waste of time. What is wrong with you people?

I’ve seen your posts, along with phoenix woman, econobuzz, ontigoes, knut, and many others who purport to be liberals. You’ve all finally exposed yourselves to be ignorant and hateful.

I think that woman has a thyroid problem.

It appears that through her android like appearance she may have been assimilated by the Republiborg.

Resistance is futile.

LMAO…I can’t help it. Newt’s wife in that picture looks like she just took a really, really big hit from a crack pipe.

Let me join in this hate. michelle obama, with her underbite, looks like a gorilla. I received an e-mail, which I thought was just horrible. It was a picture of a gorilla with a photo of michell’s face superimposed on the face of the gorilla, and guess what, it looks just like michelle. Oh my.

I tend to agree, although I am not surprised entirely by some of the commentary after 2008. That year was quite the eye opener for me. It was the year I realized that half the party I had been aligned with was a perverted version of the cast of “Mean Girls.”

Not that the other side has the high ground either as I notice in your second commentary on this thread.

*shrugs*

Does this mean that we have to turn in our Official Liberal Decoder Rings because I’m going to miss the additional 10% I get off on my hairshirts.

Also, too. The Michelle Obama thing? You’re just not very good at this.

Funny, unlike you with Michelle, nobody here’s called Callista coded racial epithets.

And unlike Callista, Michelle Obama hasn’t ever a) stolen a husband from another woman and then b) tried to remove the homewrecker stigma from herself by having her powerful new hubby lean on a prominent priest from her religion to have the previous two marriages declared nonexistent — even though hubby and his first wives weren’t members of that religion and weren’t married in that religion.

But you must think that’s perfectly OK, right?

Yikes, karenb, calm down. Adultery is as adultery does. Callista can’t claim any high ground just because she was a lustful young woman after the Newster. Jeez, get a grip!

Do you know the history of this couple?

Newt was cheating on his marriage with this woman while he was leading the lynch mob against Clinton for a consensual blowjob in the White House.

If I am not mixing his cheating episodes up, he demanded a divorce from the wife he was cheating on while she was in recovery from cancer surgery.

They also earned this vile by claiming to represent “family values” against the Demonic Democrats.

Hypocrisy deserves to be mocked.

We are doing it for fun. These people we are mocking do it with real hate.

And what part of

a helmet-haired home-wrecking whore with a Tiffany monkey on her back.

isn’t documented as true?

Oh my is right. Please take your dog whistle racism somewhere else.

Oh my god, it’s the Stepford Owl! Run before she pecks out your eyes!

You are mixing episodes up. He was banging the Stepford Owl while leading the lynch mob behind the back of wife #2. He served divorce papers to wife #1 (aka his HS math teacher) while she was in the hospital for cancer.

Kindly take your dog whistle and fuck right off.

Anyone remember “Cold Miser” from that kids’ Christmas special? Yeah, that’s her.

If the politician’s mistress thing doesn’t work out, she’s got a slam dunk career as a mannequin.

Karenb: You strike me as the sort of person who would think that Swift proposed a workable solution to world hunger, if only he had substituted “illegal aliens” for the “Irish.”

Actually, my guess would be that karenb thinks that Swift’s recipe just needed a little extra spice, assuming she’s not Irish.

If she is Irish, she thinks Swift was doing the Devil’s work — and he was a mean meanie who said mean things.

At any rate, what is it about Conservatives that makes them “snark-impaired?” You go over to RS or any one of a dozen similar blogs, and the exchanges bashing politicians take on a shrill, deadly earnest tone. And then you realize–there is no fun going on over there. People are not trying for stylistic one-up-manship over each other. (Hell, their spelling, grammar and syntax is appalling–so expecting them to exhibit writing style would be akin to requiring them to speak French!) And then it hits you: When people agree with, say, Sensenbrenner’s remark about Michelle Obama’s butt as evidence of her [alleged] Micky D’s addiction, and manage to work in a reference to the need for a Republican candidate to preserve the Second Amendment, they are deadly serious! For them, this is NOT non sequitur! I think there’s something in the Cheetos….

Tbogg: You may be pleased to learn that “Newticles” made it past the censors on the ABA website–for now.