Townhall Bigot In Residence Mike Adams has a very interesting tale about how a couple of hippies forced their daughter to date a Black boy (named Barry, just like the President!) because he was Black and of course he raped her because that is what The Blacks do when they are around white women, and then the stupid liberal hippy parents made sure the Black boy walked so that he could rape again and he didn’t fail them because, you know, it was inevitable being as he was Black. Meanwhile, the raped daughter became a stripper while getting her degree in Women’s Studies with a minor in African American Studies before becoming a counselor at Planned Parenthood where she told Black women to abort their babies and then she got fired for being so blunt, but it’s all good because she recovered nicely and now she trolls conservative websites for big George Soro’s bucks.
No. Really:
Allison paid her way through college with the money she earned doing lap dances in The Alchemist, a local gentlemen’s club. Her degree in Women’s Studies was supplemented with a minor in African American Studies. She used the degree to get a job working as an intake counselor for Planned Parenthood. Two years into her tenure with Planned Parenthood, Allison told a pregnant teenaged woman (of African extraction) that abortion was “not a big deal.” She went on to say that, “Most black babies are aborted anyway.” Planned Parenthood fired her for sharing that well-kept secret with a non- white client. So Allison moved back home with her parents. Today, she works for billionaire George Sourpus as a paid commenter on various conservative websites.
The end.
Except it’s not, because Mike Adams admits he made up this incredibly plausible story to explain why liberals are all fucked up in the head about the real world and he is not, even though he spends his days concocting black on white rape fantasies that he then sends to Stormfront Forum (“I am an Associate Professor at a small southern college and I never thought this would happen to this one one co-ed in my Intro class…“) and then presumably masturbates to them when they get published.
It almost makes you wonder why Mike Adams feels he needs to sue to get a full professorship.
Now… The end.





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The Alchemist? Wow, that is some good.
Fuck, you beat the Sadlynauts.
That is some impressive shit, Cowhand!
C
John Cole and ABL should both read this and make up.
Sarah Heath (Palin) and Glen Rice, A
LoveLust Story.Once upon a time in North Carolina there was a pathetic loser who tried to blame his pathetic loserhood on society.
“Damn liberal English teachers!” he exclaimed to nobody in particular. “Four years now, they’ve prevented me from passing high school English! These damn liberal English teachers think they are so dadburn smart, just because they can write complete sentences and coherent paragraphs. I’m going to sue the whole bunch of ‘em! That’ll show these n****r lovers a thing or two!”
So Mike sued his high school’s entire English department, and before he knew it, he was standing in a big courtroom, in front of a judge.
“Give me one reason I shouldn’t throw you out of here on your pimply ass,” said the judge.
“Your honor, I present as evidence of my writing ability these stories I’ve been writing about liberals.”
First the judge looked at the stories and frowned. But as several minutes passed, his face began to show signs of a grin, and soon he was laughing right out loud!
“Young man!” he roared. “This is the most idiotic collection of pigshit I’ve ever read in my life. What the fuck: you actually thought bringing your dog-vomit stories in here was going to help your case? What are you, a fucking IDIOT?”
Although crestfallen, Mike Allen sprang to defend himself.
“With all due respect, your honor— you are just saying that because you are a LIBERAL!”
“Are you fucking KIDDING ME?” said the judge. “I was Dan Quayle’s campaign manager, and believe me, you are no Dan Quayle! Now get the fuck out of here and never waste the time of this court again, do you hear me, you little cocksucker?”
“Yes, your honor.” replied the thoroughly defeated Mike Allen.
But this story does have a happy ending, because the next day, Mike Allen and two of his fraternity brothers got revenge by slashing the tires of most of the English faculty’s cars. And then they went and set the head of the English department’s house on fire when she wasn’t at home.
After that, they beat up a homosexual and drove around town, “catting the loop” and calling African-American pedestrians insulting names. But that’s another story.
*********
Oh! Almost forgot to say!
Although simple, this story is not actually true.
It is an Allen-gory meant to show the depth of the hate-filled, delusional conservative psyche who think it’s cool to make up shit about other people.
Great writing? Check. But, man, I had a bottle of wine and a dinner made for the wife and all I can think about is the great snark from T about John Ziegler and Snowmobile McGee, Goldfarb and Snowmobile McGee (worst three some ever? Uh-huh…), John Woo cracking somebody’s balls (okay, anybody’s balls) and now a wingnut I never heard of fantasizing about black on white rape. Can you say boner killer? I thought you could.
More seriously–and I’m completely serious here–if I saw Mike Adam on the street, I’d slap him. Hard. In the face. I hope he reads this and thinks, “See? Another hate-filled liberal.”
No, Mikey–a sane person giving you exactly what you deserve.
You know, if he just gets his students to THINK he has performed a miracle. It really doesn’t matter what they thought. Just that they had one at all is remarkable these days.
HOLEE SHIT. He made up a disgustingly racist tale using the name of one of his commenters (that’s what I gather, based on the comments to his piece) who is apparently a liberal? Can we start a campaign to get this guy fired? UNC Wilmington is a state-run school, correct?
Here’s the email of his department chair:
Dr. Kimberly Cook
cookk@uncw.edu
This shit stinks to high heaven. At the very least he needs to be called out in public. These assholes must pay for being the assholes that they are.
By the way, that is one fetid swamp of right-wing fever-dream lunacy over there. I wouldn’t advise going in without injecting maximum-strength antibiotics first.
Srsly? He admits to making up this story? Well, what next?
I swear, it’s a full-time job just trying to keep up with these nutsos.
(my most fun-in a raging, furious sort of way – part of today was making fun of the NH legislators who decided to require every law to quote the portion of Magna Carta on which the proposed law is based….I don’t think these loons even realized MC is written in Latin, and doesn’t really apply too well today, when the king no longer forces widowed aristocrats to marry other aristocrats of his choosing…wait, what? We don’t even have a king? Well, I’ll be those legislators didn’t realize that either.)
I’ve never heard of this guy before, but I sure do feel sorry for his students.
That story certainly belongs in the “Randian Christian’s Book of Wank Parables”.
man i loves me some white wimmin all into the africa shit. put on some fela with out of africa playing on mute and it’s sexy time!
You do realize that Dr. Mike is a fav wingnut over at World O’ Crap, don’t you? It makes my withered heart throb to see him get the new exposure and outrage of readers here. Seriously, look at that face. Yes. Of course you want to punch it. Feel the freedom!
Oh, the Cons have been pushing the Obama variant of the Oversexed Black Rapist legend for years now. McCain even got caught at it during the 2008 campaign. Just your everyday Southern-Strategy-approved race baiting.
The refreshingly unusual thing recently is to see the establishment media — particularly the broadcast TV media, which is the news most Americans have the best chance of seeing on an everyday basis — actually pointing this shit out from time to time, though apparently only with GOP presidential candidates that they want to see zapped because they might hurt the delicate gold-leaf flower that is the Mittster. For example, this actually aired on the CBS Evening News yesterday:
Why shouldn’t Mike Adams lie like a rug? After all Fox News got the OK from the US, cough cough, “justice” system that it could LIE and spin all it wants and call it “news.”
This is simply a more debased & venal version – hence, in the conservadumb “mind”set, a huge WIN – of the fable that TBogg highlighted yesterday wherein Sarah Palin was compared favorably to Tina Fey’s fictional character in the sit-com, 30 Rock, Liz Lemon.
Bald-faced LIES such as this are a much approved-of & encouraged FEATURE by today’s “christiany” evangelizing rightwingers who are very very good a brainwashing their credulous flocks.
Nothing really new to see here, kiddies. Fun’s over, move along now…
ptoui!
Dr. Kimberly Cook
Dear Dr. Cook,
I am so inspired after reading this recent column by the UNCW’s Prof. Mike Adams!
http://townhall.com/columnists/mikeadams/2012/01/03/allison_wonderland
It made me think of another story of my own!
Once upon a time there was a college professor named, hmmm… let’s call him ‘Mike Allegory’.
Mike’s hobby was writing imaginative stories, like the one where he compared the president of the United States to a black serial rapist who was never punished because, well… white people are just too darn nice to black rapists!
Mike’s stories were so imaginative that he was offered a full-time job writing for Fox News.
This was a “win-win” proposition because it allowed Mike to quit his job at the socialist tax-grabbing university where he once worked— a thinly disguised cancer upon the private sector, if the truth be told— so that Mike was thus able to go to work in his beloved “free market”, where he was totally free of government bureaucracy and regulations.
Mike’s former employer was also spared the embarrassment of employing someone whose hobby was telling idiotic racist stories.
So, everybody lived happily ever after!
I don’t know what you guys are getting so worked up about – after all, it can’t be “making it up” if you know that it must be true somewhere. It’s like “lying” – it can’t be “lying” if you really believe it, right? It’s all about Higher Truths and what you Know to be true. I have to say that, from the perspective of today’s enlightened society, Mike Adams is the real victim here (as is usually the case in these sorts of affairs). Simply because he had the deep moral courage to report a tragic, yet heart-warming tale about what is wrong with this nation, he is being savagely attacked by the liberal press. Thank goodness that Mr. (Dr.?) Adams is a staunchly honest, morally upright, heroically strong and self-sufficient man who can bear up under the vicious and unfair attacks of The Left without complaint. He’s an example to us all.
Actually some of the commenters at TownHall pretty much said something just like that, you plagerist!
I would really not lose any sleep if someone beat Mike Adams to death with a lawn jockey.
Okay, this is a guy with a microscopic dick. I said it and it must be true because asswipe cons with microscopic dicks exist. In the majority I’d say, and I include the women (See Ann Coulter, Pamela Geller, KJL). The End.
Hah! You’ve revealed your ridiculous liberal bias against Mike Adams, just because he chose the extremely common African American first name “Barry” for his parable. You irrationally assumed he meant President Obama, who’s first name happens to be Barack!!! Doy!!
Sweet buttery Jesus!
He lists under “Professional Associations” the NRA???
A true Reich-wing nutcase.
Mike Adams made that up? It’s not true?
It’ll be presented on Mox News as fact. Just watch.
Who the hell is Mike Adams? Is he real? Does he actually work for FOX? Does he also actually work at a college somewhere? I cannot separate truth from fiction here. I realize that is not a problem for most conservatives, but us liberals like to know actual facts in order to form an actual opinion.
True. I despise rightwing idiots with the same degree of contempt as I have for leftist idiots and there is no shortage of either.
Thinking is good.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/things-make-you-go-hmmm-such-common-currency#comment-2044095
Imagine a free world?
This would be funny if it weren’t so sick. I am a white liberal who hires black ex-cons from the inner city, and through them I have been able to get a picture of inner city life. No black man has to go out looking for white women for sex. They visit black neighborhoods in a steady stream looking for excitement. It is a white man’s fantasy that a black man can have sex with a “respectable” white woman only by force. Quite a few of these respectable white women are going shopping for sex and getting what they want. Once in a while I take my workers out for a couple of beers in their own neighborhood and I see it myself. It is not a black man’s fantasy.
Gawd, I haven’t heard a true story like that since I moved away from Metairie, La, the homeland of David Little Dick…er…Duke.
Did anyone else catch the calliope-accompanied Parade o’ Penises in New Hampshire last night? Well, I did so you wouldn’t have to.
I have to admit I perked up – despite the overall implausibility of the story – when I read about thee Soros funded job commenting on conservative sites. It was a fantasy, of course – but work many of us would love to get.
Does anyone out there have any evidence that a single such job on the liberal side even exists? Matter of fact, I would even accept a solid rumor.
y
Why is this discussed? There are important things to worry about – like why Australia’s minimum wage is twice as much as in the U.S.
Why not start your own blog to discuss them?