Susan G. Komen CEO Nancy Brinker (who loves that “Ambassador” title from her stint in the Bush Administration, Credibility!) poops out a string of B-School gibberish in order to keep the money flowing and keep her brand from sinking:

…and we call bullshit:

Komen, the marketing juggernaut that brought the world the ubiquitous pink ribbon campaign, says it cut-off Planned Parenthood because of a newly adopted foundation rule prohibiting it from funding any group that is under formal investigation by a government body. (Planned Parenthood is being investigated by Rep. Cliff Stearns, an anti-abortion Florida Republican, who says he is trying to learn if the group spent public money to provide abortions.)

But three sources with direct knowledge of the Komen decision-making process told me that the rule was adopted in order to create an excuse to cut-off Planned Parenthood. (Komen gives out grants to roughly 2,000 organizations, and the new “no-investigations” rule applies to only one so far.) The decision to create a rule that would cut funding to Planned Parenthood, according to these sources, was driven by the organization’s new senior vice-president for public policy, Karen Handel, a former gubernatorial candidate from Georgia who is staunchly anti-abortion and who has said that since she is “pro-life, I do not support the mission of Planned Parenthood.” (The Komen grants to Planned Parenthood did not pay for abortion or contraception services, only cancer detection, according to all parties involved.) I’ve tried to reach Handel for comment, and will update this post if I speak with her.

The decision, made in December, caused an uproar inside Komen. Three sources told me that the organization’s top public health official, Mollie Williams, resigned in protest immediately following the Komen board’s decision to cut off Planned Parenthood. Williams, who served as the managing director of community health programs, was responsible for directing the distribution of $93 million in annual grants.

So verdict first, and then we’ll make up a crime afterward to explain it away.

Of course the real problem here is that Komen Board didn’t have the guts to come out and admit that they weren’t comfortable with the fact that Planned Parenthood is an abortion provider. Instead they’re wrapping it the pink cotton candy “we’re just trying to serve you better” bullshit. As for what they think of people who don’t agree with them, here’s how Karen Handel, their Public Policy whiz ‘handels’ it:

We’ve reached out to Handel, but haven’t heard back. She makes no mention of the Komen decision on her Facebook page, but that hasn’t stopped friends from congratulating her. From one:

”I was so happy to read about the defunding of Planned Parenthood by Komen. Thank you for any part that you had in this!! I am a breast cancer survivor and I always participated in the Race for a Cure, but I was not going to this year – after hearing about the funding. Now I am very happy to be able to participate with a clear conscience, knowing that the money I collect will not be going to Planned Parenthood! Thank you again! “

We’ve also got a frame grab of a Tweet that Handel passed along: “Just like a pro-abortion group to turn a cancer orgs decision into a political bomb to throw. Cry me a freaking river.”

When it comes to tone-deafness, Karen Handel is like the love child of Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney….

(Added) Oh, bonus screengrab: