As David pointed out Komen CEO Nancy Brinker blinked, presumably after every PR agency in the world told her that she had screwed the pooch on national TV in HD and 5.1 Surround sound audio and everyone in America had DVR’d the act.

We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women’s lives.

The events of this week have been deeply unsettling for our supporters, partners and friends and all of us at Susan G. Komen. We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not.

Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political. That is what is right and fair.

Our only goal for our granting process is to support women and families in the fight against breast cancer. Amending our criteria will ensure that politics has no place in our grant process. We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities.

It is our hope and we believe it is time for everyone involved to pause, slow down and reflect on how grants can most effectively and directly be administered without controversies that hurt the cause of women. We urge everyone who has participated in this conversation across the country over the last few days to help us move past this issue. We do not want our mission marred or affected by politics — anyone’s politics.

….blah blah blah bullshit bullshit smoke and mirrors I fucking hate you people and am going to spend the weekend seeking the bottom of a pitcher of appletinis and eating Xanax like peanuts.

Part of that was not in the actual statement.

Not to be ungracious, and not that it will undo the damage because nothing ever will, but Brinker might want to bring us the head of Karen Handel as a peace offering.

It’s not like Handel has been using it in the first place.

Bless her heart.