Shorter Ross Douthat:

Just because the Cafeteria Catholics, the Apostate Catholics, and the Heretic Catholics who make up the ninety-eight percent of the church membership who are already rolling their eyes and going “Yeah, whatevs..” whenever the Pope says knock it off with the baby not-having, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t respect the rights of the 2% who go limp at the mere mention of the pill. To say otherwise is raw unadulterated gynofascism.

Also, too the term “Pussy Cartel” is awesome and should be a band name…