The Breitbart Braintrust

Jim Newell:

One time in 1991, when Obama was serving as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, he spoke affably of the first black tenured Harvard Law professor, Derrick Bell, while he was peacefully protesting the lack of diversity on Harvard’s faculty. And then Obama hugged him. He might as well have given Sauron a reach-around.

This is the stupidest fucking story we’ve ever seen, maybe. Watch these amoral idiots trying to grapple with the fact that they’ve been scooped on releasing their much-hyped Scary Obama Radical College Years clip — part one of a new Breitbart.com thing called THE VETTING, defined in this context as a media campaign in which a half-literate band of googlers scotch tape together clunky race-baiting narratives about nothing.

Scoopers Ben Smith and his Buzzfeed team, see, were “selectively editing” their version of the clip to remove any shocking material that would damage their cherished food-stamp president’s reelection chances. Yes, this is the wingers’ fallback angle. And it makes sense, right? We all know how reporters hate getting major national scandal scoops. That’s the only explanation for why Buzzfeed wouldn’t have paid the video archives some additional hundreds of dollars for the Hug Interlude between speaking parts. Don’t even try us with your “it had no news value because it was just a perfunctory hug” pablum, Soviet Buzzfeed.

Yikes.

Personally I think the Breitards are adorable in the way that they maintain that this is A BIG FUCKING DEAL. They’re like small children with an invisible friend and every time you tell them that there is no there there, they just stamp their little feet and scream “Is too! Is too!” and then tell you what a big poopyhead you are.

Seriously, they should install a ‘Slow Children’ sign out front of Breitbart World Headquarters. Maybe make them all wear bike helmets even when they’re not riding a bike…