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Thoroughly unpleasant television psychotic Michelle Malkin has a new website that she created to occupy her layabout husband; maybe keep him from downloading home video onto Pacific-Islander cheerleader fantasy porn sites. The new site, is called twitchy.com after Malkin’s unfortunate tendency to jerk spasmodically and froth at the mouth when having to repeat her order at Taco Bell because the people there like to fuck with her since, after all, she’s Mexican-hating Michelle Malkin or, as they like to call her: Payasa Loca.
The idea behind Twitchy is that it is:
… a ground-breaking Twitter curation site powered by a kinetic staff of social media junkies. TWITCHY.COM mines Twitter to bring you ‘who said what’ in U.S. politics, global news, sports, entertainment, media, and breaking news 24/7.
Which is to say that Twitchy’s market is the ‘very special people’ demographic who are considerably stupider than the 18 million ten year-olds who somehow managed to find lesbian singing thing Justin Bieber on Twitter. Of course, if you want to reach that demo you immediately turn to one of two places: Fox News or the Rush Limbaugh show. Since the Limbaugh show has lost most of its sponsors and the vacated advertising spots are being filled with Rush reading craigslist ads in funny voices, there are rock-bottom deals to be had and Michelle is going to park her meager marketing dollars right there:
Michelle Malkin, owner and founder of new Internet start-up TWITCHY.COM, issued the following statement:
“As a small business owner, defender of capitalism, and advocate of free speech, I am putting my money where my conservative, free-market principles are. TWITCHY.COM is proud to join companies across the country that advertise with talk show giant Rush Limbaugh and his Excellence In Broadcasting network. Today, we will begin running ads on the RushLimbaugh.com website.
“Double standards and feigned outrage about Rush’s comments fit a decades-old pattern of liberal attempts to shut down his show and silence his voice. President Obama himself explicitly attacked Rush in 2009 at the very start of his presidency. But Limbaugh not only has survived countless protests, boycotts, media smears and political attempts to kick him off the airwaves. He has emerged each time with a higher profile, greater influence, and a strengthened hand.
“Our business is fledgling and the ad revenue we generate may be small, but we are grateful for the opportunity to reach Rush’s massive audience – and to show our support for his work.”
So, basically Michelle is pity-fucking Rush with her advertising dollars, not that this is the first time that Rush has been the recipient of a pity fuck; just ask Rush’s wife about last Friday night when his world was falling apart and his Oxy80 dealer was late. Ick. Worst forty seconds ever.
Anyway, Twitchy can now be your go-to website for #vettheuppityprez, #CPACiz4gayz, and #IamAndrewBreitbartandICan’tGetUp twitter twats. And, best of all, Twitchy has an open comments policy that you really must resist, say, going there and writing really horrible things because that would be wrong, you guys, so just forget I mentioned it. Just put it out of your minds. Like Limbaugh’s comments about Sandra Fluke… it didn’t happen.
Also too (like you thought I would just end this without posting IT. Not fucking likely…)
Heh. Gravity. Awesome.
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A while back you were about to quit because the fun had gone.
Aren’t you glad you didn’t?
So, this isn’t a new site for retired meth heads? Dammit.
‘Fraid not, being a meth head is kind of like being in the IRA. Once in, never out.
I’m seeing a potential feature film in this, sort of like Being John Malkovich – Being Michelle Malkin. Would be hard on the lead actress, having to maintain that manic state for hours on end.
Sometimes, a song gets stuck in your head, playing over and over, and the only way to make it stop is to pass it off to someone else. So forgive me, but on the plus side, I was struck by just how apt a description of Malkin this Eagles classic is.
Raven hair and ruby lips,
Sparks fly from her finger tips.
Echoed voices in the night,
She’s a restless spirit on an endless flight.
Wooo hooo, twitchy woman,
See how high she flies.
Wooo hooo, twitchy woman,
She got the moon in her eye.
Left this to go with their frenetic fear mongering: “It will be interesting to see just how long you paranoiacs can keep up this level of straw-man fear-mongerning.” Also they said something about their kinetic team who manage twitchy, does that mean that they are constantly being shaken, or what? Somebody shaking them might be how they got that way…..
Man, that is one ugly-assed web site. However, it does offer indisputable evidence that wingnuts are even more dishonest and insane in 140 characters or less. Let’s see if one-stop psychopathy will turn out to be a great business model.
To be read: “All Obama transgressions, all of the time.”
Malkin seems to have more bile in her than Breitbart. I wonder what her cardiovascular system looks like.
The first four letters of the website describe her very well.
Wow, I haven’t seen that screen shot. I don’t watch FOX, so I had no idea she was suspected of killing a baby mother. But when you look at the eyes, you can see it.
TWITCHY.COM is proud to join companies across the country that advertise with talk show giant Rush Limbaugh and his Excellence In Broadcasting network.
Ashley-Madison?
So it’s come to trickle-down wingnut welfare?
Bechamel, bechamel, everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
Let’s see if one-stop psychopathy will turn out to be a great business model.
Nope, still no advertising whatsoever at Mitch the Twitch’s site.
He has emerged each time with a higher profile, greater influence, and a strengthened hand.
Keep that Pimp Hand strong, Rush Daddy…
You know, I read the heading of this post, and it just sort of naturally flipped around in my head because that’s more anatomically correct. It wasn’t pleasant. You need to be more careful about this stuff.
Maybe, maybe not:
When playing the Malkin video just now, my dog (dead asleep on the chair across the room) woke up, ran over to my laptop, bristled her fur, and started barking.
I love my dog.
Well, don’t conservative groups already buy up cases and cases of wingnut books to boost them onto the best-seller lists? Maybe Rush will sell his copius airtime at below market rates so these groups can push the books and their agendas. Kind of like a wingnut circle jerk.
So, the hardcore readers of Twitchy would be known as Twitheads, correct?
I finally rewatched that video…it’s been a couple of years. I have to say, Malkin comes across, in message and in looks, as a 13 YO girl. Seriously, this is an adult doing that silly video?
Michelle Malkin is like totally sooo pissed off because she like totally missed making it with the awesome A list crowd in high school.
Must have been all of the Dog Whistles she uses.
I apologize. I misread the quote above and thought it said that Twitchy was “powered by a lunatic staff of social media junkies.” My apologies again.
“Kind of like a wingnut circle jerk.”
That is the image that comes to mind everytime I hear some dittoheads I know talking about the days bile they heard Rush spew.
C’mon Chris.. you have to do better than just substitute one word.
Crazy stare and pom-pom flips,
Bile spews from her spittled lips.
Psycho voices in her head,
Spin fantasies of Obama-dread .
Wooo hooo, twitchy woman,
See how low she’ll stoop.
Wooo hooo, twitchy woman,
Makes me want to poop.
Okay someone…next verse!
Wow that’s some classy language you’ve used there, TBag. Do you suck your mother’s d**k with that mouth?
Yep, Bill Maher is much cleaner and intelligent.
Oooo, you’re cute.
Is that you, Michelle? I didn’t recognize you since you got your rabies vaccine.
Wow, that’s intelligent, Kris. Can’t hardly think of a snappy response there. I’m just floored by your intellect.
Such an original profile pic, too. Wow, ain’t you the original one.
Excellent Title and post, TBogg !
Mothers don’t have dicks, honey. They have hoo-hahs.
Now isn’t that so very anti-LBGT (LMNOP?) of you? Havn’t you read some of the other tripe on this rag? “Mothers” apparently can have dicks, hoo-hahs and even little fuzzy wings as long as they vote Democrat.
Poor Twitchy’s cranky today. Anti-LBGT? Not at FDL – What the heck are you reading and have you gotten past the second grade?
That directed at me, Mark? TBag is the one who’s cranky today, and quite offensive as well.
No kidding, twitchy? Your momma has little fuzzy wings? Awesome!
The thing that starts its comments with “Do you suck your mother’s d**k with that mouth?” is complaining about someone else’s intellect?
Cognitive dissonance much, genius?
twitchy9999 became a registered member
2012-03-09 13:19:21
That account registered a minute before it posted the first comment in this thread. Clearly this is one of the
Now come on. All of us old Bill Hicks fans know that Rush does not fuck. Ever.
He munches scat. That’s right, he’s a scatmuncher, and he always has been.
No, this is just some guy that wanted to hijack your shitty blog because he had a few minutes on his hands.
Looks like Jesse Malkin learned how to use the internets.
I can think of a word to describe such shameless pandering for money, but I don’t want to commit a Limbaugh. Suffice to say Malkin is a radical reactionary subvert and an enemy to all American values.
I trust The Daughter of Fu Manchu realizes she’s not going to get any lovin’ from Mr. Tidy Bowl. Not any, not ever, not no how.
By the way, I took a look at twitchy.com and found exactly what I expected to find…a heavy-breathing wingnut circle jerk. Doesn’t that come under the heading of porn?
Good grief! Michelle Malkin still exists?
Chuy…..
I must go explain this to my Dog Arthur now. I hope I am able to do so.
Pussy.
Judging by the output, I think we can drop a word and just say” powered by a staff of junkies.”
You beat me to it. I had exactly the same reaction. Now, can we please get back to the fun of Snark? When Twitchy comes along and starts going all, “You’re a poopy diaper” on us, can we all just ignore her?
Doesn’t she know what “twitch” is (old) slang for?