Yesterday we noted that Gawker has recently acquired a mole in the Fox News room and there was much joy expressed throughout the land.

This morning a “spokesperson” for Fox said that they had tracked down said mole:

“We found the person and we’re exploring legal options at this time.”

Crisis averted! Back to slut shaming and terrorist fist bumps!

Except not:

So Fox’s PR team has been telling people that they have “found” me and are presently “exploring legal options.” If Fox has smoked me out, it’s news to me. I’m still here. Back to work.

This is better than could be hoped for as Fox Security (presumably the same Fox Imperial Stormtroopers that Bill O’Reilly unleashes after his sexual conquest fails) are subjecting Fox employees to “enhanced interrogation techniques” (finally Hannity gets waterboarded!) in order to smoke out the evil malefactor. It’s like a real life version of The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street.

If you ask me, they should be taking a look at that Cavuto guy. He looks like the type, if you know what I mean…