Last night alleged electoral criminal Barack “I Blame” Obama appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s teevee show as it was being broadcast from some college in North Carolina. While on the show, the unvetted negro-hugging communist President went nuts and New Black Panther-commandeered the airtime to demand that certain student loan interest rates stay the same and not double, thereby saving students A THOUSAND DOLLARS which could be better spent on red Solo cups, the “marijuana”, and condoms so they can have lots o’ sex with Georgetown Law coeds because, word on the street: they like to fuck all night. Unfortunately the mochachino-hued usurper elected to pitch his message backed by the kind of urban jungle rhythms that make white college boys talk “street” and wear too much Axe and causes white girls to wear short denim skirts and Uggs (see: “Eskiho’s“) and then have “booty-call” sex with negroes. Naturally this has upset Ben “Virgin” Shapiro who promptly called upon the years he spent filling a seat at Harvard Law (only to end up in a co-starring role at Andrew Breitbart’s Dirtnap Theatre) to point out that Nobama broke the Constitution and must be impeached (Breitbart link, you don’t really have to click on it because it only encourages them):
Last night, President Obama appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s unwatchable show to “slow-jam the news.” By this, Fallon meant that Obama would read a campaign speech about student loans, Fallon would utter a few lines to back him up every so often, and his lead band singer would warble in support of Obama’s propaganda.
Only one problem, aside from the fact that this was possibly the worst “comedy” segment in the history of mankind: it violated campaign finance law.
The equal time rule states that if a licensee permits a person “who is a legally qualified candidate for any public office to use a broadcasting station, he shall afford equal opportunities to all other such candidates for that office in the use of such broadcasting station.”
Which sounds suspiciously like sochulism but, whatever, this grievous wrong must be righted for Freedom:
Not only was this appearance in violation of equal time law, it was clearly an in-kind contribution by NBC to the Obama campaign. As the Federal Elections Commission states, “A donation of services is … considered an in-kind contribution.” Under applicable law, contribution of broadcast time is considered such a service. This was a campaign commercial for Obama, and the Obama campaign was not charged for it. A minute of network time can cost up to a couple million dollars; this segment ran a full five minutes. There is no doubt that Obama was given millions of dollars of free advertising time, and the Romney campaign should invoke all available law to make that clear.
NBC should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Mitt Romney should be given equal time, and an equally sycophantic propaganda piece by Fallon.
So, Jimmy Fallon should give equal time to Mitt Romney to make the case for allowing the student loan interest rates to double since students can always sell off some of their stock to pay the increased amount, so no biggie. Romney should also be given the opportunity to make this appearance at the college of his choice, such as Brigham Young Universuty where he will feel more comfortable and then he can spend the rest of the time allotted to him by sharing some of his favorite knock-knock jokes, such as:
See? It’s funny because it’s true…