Well, no wonder why Archbishop of New York Timothy Dolan is so gosg-darned “horrified” that the Obama Administration is shoving their sexy contraception mandate down the Holy Mother Church’s throat! It seems that the church has, if you’ll excuse the expression, already “shot its wad” when it comes to shelling out the big bucks for a good time after Vespers:

One of the most powerful Catholic Church leaders in America approved payments of $20,000 to get abusive priests to leave the church, abuse victims and the archdiocese in question said Thursday.

Victims feel “considerable dismay” that leaders of the church in Milwaukee “have been apparently engaged in paying off those who betrayed the children of our archdiocese,” they said in an open letter to the current head of the church in Milwaukee, Archbishop Jerome Listecki.

But the case could reverberate far beyond the borders of the Midwestern city.

Timothy Dolan, who was archbishop of Milwaukee at the time, is now archbishop of New York, head of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops and a cardinal.

Notes from a meeting he attended in Wisconsin in 2003 show a “proposal” to offer $20,000 to “currently unassignable priests.”

Do tell…

The minutes of the finance council meeting emerged as part of Archdiocese of Milwaukee bankruptcy proceedings, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests said Wednesday.

The archdiocese filed for bankruptcy protection last year in the face of lawsuits from people who said they had been abused by its priests.

On Thursday, the archdiocese confirmed that it had offered payoffs to abusive priests as “the most expedient and cost-effective way to have offenders laicized or removed from the priesthood.”

Having an abuser volunteer to go through the process known as laicization – formally leaving the priesthood – “was faster and less expensive. It made sense to try and move these men out of the priesthood as quickly as possible,” the archdiocese said in a statement.

You may remember this from the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus spoke (spake?) to the multitudes and said:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

So  really, you know, when you get down to it, it was actually Jesus’s idea that Dolan should cut his losses; maybe do a cost/benefit analysis and appoint an executive committee to look into forming an LLC as described in The Book of Murray: Disciple Accountant. You can look it up.

One Catholic church source defended the payment plan on Thursday, saying, “You either pay them to leave and give them money for food and clothes and shelter as they look for a job or you have a drawn out trial that could take years.”

“Wouldn’t that be preferable than to keep them as priests and paying their salaries,” the source, who would agree to speak only anonymously. “And wouldn’t it be better than a trial and to have victims testifying and cross examined?”

So, to sum up:

Archbishop of New York and head of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Cardinal Timothy Dolan approved what might best be described as Catholic Catch & Release for priests who were using their parish like a Boystown Buffet, and then gave them each a $20,000 check as a lovely parting gift before sending them on their way into the world to freelance.

$20,000 and no police record?

That’s a pedophile’s wet dream, even better than helping Justin Beiber with his costume changes.