My penis seems to have run away!

Since when do superheroes invade countries to convert the people to her own religion and kill everyone else? Did Xena skulk in the shrubbery so she could wage imaginary war on little boys?

The Phyllis Schlafly thing is dead on, though.

Where’s Mrs. OfMitt?

The Phyllis Schlafly thing is dead on, though.

Agreed, mainly because I believe that is an untouched photograph of her. From her teen years in the late 19th century.

Super-annuated looks like she’s got back problems.

And Steampunk Sarah needs some better foundation garments before she goes jogging.

With that orthodontia, Warrior Princess Malkin looks like a screen cap from some ’60s Italian space opera.

Big breasts? Because Conservatives gotta have their mamma fantasies.

Big breaths? Yeth and I’m only thikthteen. This was considered very amusing when I was about twelve.

Love the obligatory 9/11 reference. This lookingspoon site is a parody site, right? Or is it another example of Poe’s law, where you can’t tell because the real thing is so barking insane that it auto-parodies?

Owwwwwwwww! My eyes, my eyes.

Oh, the horror. Never get out of the boat.

Is that a bump in your pocket, or are you just happy seeing me?

No, that is a dump in my pocket, because I just feel crappy seeing you.

As the great Dorothy Parker once observed, “Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”

These craptastic photoshops are, like the weird T-Rex-armed dead-now-nordic Breitbart “effort,” singularly crude, dull & crummy. Whoever this loser is, s/he needs to spend more time studying Mel Ramos. These don’t cut it.

The blog comments are like a parody. Truth is stranger than fiction.

The Phyliss SchlaFLY photoshop IS the best one and most truly representative who Schlafly is and what she represents.

Weird.

Just curious, but has anyone made the Breitards aware of the winners of Ye Olde Breitbart Photoshoppe Contest? Because they really should know.

STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT Hah! Made you look!

Where’s McCardle?

I have the weirdest boner. Not.

I’m really starting to believe in creationism. Because after seeing this crap, natural selection just isn’t working on these morons.

On the other hand, what kind of God would allow this to happen?

Mine, too, and my balls have crawled up into my chest.

Male conservatives tend to have the authoritarian Daddy fantasies in my experience.

Don’t encourage them

OK, I’m throwing it in. Now, we have Ft Huachuca accessing GWPDA, on behalf of USAAISC thru Carlisle Barracks – looking at Navy records.

These pibbels iz crazy.

Does it bother no one else that these superfaps are horribly misattributed?

First off: Sarah Palin should be Rogue. It was her freakin’ catchphrase.

Invisible Woman: S.E. Cupp. Because who?

Xena: Atlas Juggs. She even does the Muslim ululation.

Wonder Woman: Ann Coulter. As in “I always wonder if she’s a woman…”

Huntress: Elizabeth Cheney. Lame knockoff of the original, but fuck you, you’ll buy it.

Power Girl: Megan McArdle. Can never remember her origin story or powers, blames you for it.

Kitty Pryde: Michelle Bachmann. Whether it’s logic or facts or bricks or concrete, they pass right through her without so much as a ripple. Also: attracted to obviously gay men.

Supergirl: Dana Loesch. Pretentious moralizer who doesn’t realize that what she mistakes for attention and acceptance is actually 70+ years of boys trying to look up her skirt.

I am happy they didn’t appropriate Yin Ling for Malkin….
http://i.imgur.com/f1MB4.jpg

Guys! Guys! TMI.

Just sayin’.

conservatives tend to have the authoritarian Daddy fantasies

Yep, big time. One of my libertarian buddies was trying to explain that the Rebublicans were the “Daddy Party” and the Dems were the “Mommy Party”… I was thinking “Dr Freud, paging Dr. Freud, stat!”

I don’t even want’t know how you knew about that.

That tentacle thingy certainly is evocative.

Well, you know, you get an email on how to save $300 on car insurance and you click the link and YIKES and then, well, hello…

Um, is she in a serious relationship?

Greatest reply evah!

Hey! It’s art. Really. Yin Ling from Joy Toy. She’s never done nudes, just erotic. Can’t remember where on the intertubes I first saw it but it does look like a cons wet dream. And one of the most bizarre images I’ve ever seen…

(sobbing)

Why did I click? Why?

(still sobbing)

Where’d everybody go?

Gack. If that’s America’s new idea of female sex symbols, I’m now officially switching teams. That’s right, I’m officially gay now.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

She’s never done nudes, just erotic.

Them are standards.

“…and a VERY Special Guest Appearance by Phyllis Schlafly”

There should be a warning on this blog post…Not safe to be read while eating.

This is about 10 years old, if you find ‘em let me know.

On the other hand, what kind of God would allow this to happen?

One with a particularly wicked sense of humor?

All is not well in Wingnuttia….

Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…Never get out of the boat…

So instead of becoming a comic book artist, he thought that he’d serve his country, do his patriotic duty, make the ultimate sacrifice… And start a crappy blog?

That is the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen the “after” pictures of the guy in Florida who got his face chewed off.

Wow. That was… They’re so… Um…

Never mind, I think I’m just gonna go watch My Little Ponies or something until I wash those images out of my brain.

Serves me right for getting out of the damn boat. You’d think I’d know better by now.

What, no K-Lo?

And it just keeps gettin’ better…

Thanks, rickhill, for a view of a whole new concept of ‘chickenheads’. Dayum.

Where’s Pam Geller, as the Pneumatic Woman?

Okay, that’s it. Back to Skyrim. Even Darkblack never grossed me out quite that much.

Really, you had to pile on? Look, the original post was bad enough–boats have been gotten out of and juicy, sweet, deadly mangoes eaten…why?

Pics cause Insides a sad. Decidedly not fappable material.

You know, the Phyllis Schafly one is actually a pretty good likeness.

They got it wrong. Those women don’t HAVE big boobs, they ARE big boobs.

I learned long ago, when the urge hits to get out of the boat, just order another drink and lay back in the deck hammock and chill. Those aren’t real mangoes out there.

Pamela Geller is there, with some serious camel toe. For serious wankers only.

My only sweet mango take-away from getting out of the boat is the backstory for Steampunk Palin. America’s Energy Expert, she advocates abandoning coal, oil, gas and nuclear power for steam power. She gets blown up, and her body gets replaced by a robot powered by steam.

never mind the fact that steam power is simply energy from boiling water – you know, water heated by energy like coal, gas, oil, or nuclear power. Our Sarah is an advocate for completely independent steam power, once again showing her cred as an Energy Expert!

What does steam-powered Steampunk Palin do, drag a garden hose around behind her?

TBogg, thank you for all you’ve done for my weight loss program. After looking at these pictures, it’ll take a week to get my appetite back.

See, this is why I don’t watch horror movies anymore. There are some images I just don’t want running loose inside my head. Eeuuch.

Only electro-shock therapy could get Phyllis out of my brain now…

It’s noticed us. We’re probably 2/3rds of the people looking at it – yesterday the hit count must have went thru the roof.

I regret getting out of the boat. (Boy do I ever – bleah)

Oh Sarah, you are sooooo hot.

What?

Except for the face, he nailed Schafly. The rest? Hardly worth the click.

When was the last time a LW blog photoshopped fantasies of popular female commentators like this? I’m convinced that these emotionally retarded men-boys only care about the pretty package that spews all the ugly opinions. Idiots.

“And this has been another installment of ‘Why I fall on my knees every fucking day and thank God I am a liberal.’”

Not that I believe in God or anything; I’m sure you understand.

Yeah, conservative ladies are to be taken MORE seriously by wearing that nonsense. (I’m surprised they didn’t go for the “Sue Storm 4-kini”.)

Favorite bit: The tingledink who posted these syphilis-grade eyesores claims to need a barf bag for welcoming people from TBogg.

The content? Amateurish. Hideous. Rife with butthurt. (Free cut-and-paste response for tingledink: “NO U! ALSO TOO 9-11!”) But if I were to offer a suggestion, Sarah Flailin’ should be Huntress: repeat quitter; always trying to push her way into “families” that will never really accept her; doesn’t REALLY hunt; not nearly as hot as she thinks.

I didn’t notice Bristol Flailin’ as Mary Marvel (“Corrupted” Version, natch) or Christine O’Donnell as Zatanna or Linda Tripp as M.O.D.O.K., or ANYONE as Ms. Marvel; maybe the stinging in my eyes made me leave too soon.

It’s every twisted racist sexist fear and wish-fulfillment fantasy rolled into one image that can never be unseen.

Seriously? OMG he’s even dumber than I thought.

Energy inefficiency has always had its doltish devotees: In the sixties, the “All Electric Gold Medallion Home” badge was proudly bestowed on residences by the local Edison company for completely eschewing all but electricity.

Electric Stove. Electric Heating. Insanely inefficient, and insanely expensive. But, well, pushbutton age and all, we wanted so bad for it to be true.

Relive the zeitgeist with this short Young Man’s Fancy with the help of Mike and the bots from MST3K.

Typically nonsensical line: “let’s have hot cocoa. [With our electric range] it’ll only take a few seconds to heat the milk.”

Not to mention Human Achievement Hour (HAH) back in March to counter Earth Day and “celebrate” individual freedom by leaving all the lights in the house on. Take that, hippies!

*facepalming hard enough to bloody my nose*

Other examples of idiots engaging in self-destructive behavior in the fantasy that it celebrates freedom and enrages the Liberal Establishment: the incessant ranting against Michelle Obama’s healthier-eating promotions; smoking (Ayn Rand and her toadies).

Seriously, we should start a “liberal” campaign against sticking forks in wall outlets. The national average I.Q. would soar overnight, oil dependency and pollution would plummet, and the surge in mortuary business alone would boost the economy into the stratosphere, making the temporary inescapable stench of burning back hair totally worth it.

Not to mention an upsurge in fuse sales [laughing]. You’re right of course–

“I’ve had it up to here with you big brother liberals telling me what I can and cannot do and this new dictum against sticking forks into electrical outlets is– ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!”

Thanks for thinning the herd, rock-ribbed, and semiconductive individualist.

We had a go at this a few months ago, it’s a favorite refrain. They get pissed off at Smokey for telling them to not set forests on fire for christ’s sake. Priceless.

Re smoking, I’m going to have to change tone a bit:

Is there seriously someone, anyone, anywhere, who is unaware that this is harmful behavior?

To my deep regret, I have chased the camel for more than forty-five years and I’ve got the emphysema to show for it. I’ve tried and failed to quit, but I have voted for every additional cigarette tax (don’t care how it’s spent) and every restriction of smoking area.

As a result, though I may smoke, my nieces* do not and probably will never take it up, and it is my fondest wish that smoking become a charming anachronism, like spittoons in hotel lobbies. It’s something grandpa used to do.

*For some reason, my siblings are only capable of producing female offspring. Probably smoking during pregnancy is to blame.