Liz Colville at Wonkette directs us to John Hawkin’s Conservative Ladies Whose Boobies I Would Totally Touch list which John compiles every year by going to various wingnut circle-jerks put on by Americans For Prosperity¬† and asking random ladies if he can take their picture … for journalistic purposes, of course. Think of him as Ugly George in a Reagan mask.

Anyway, in his comments section (since closed after rude Wonketeers invaded the place and ruined the soft-core Cinemax ambiance) John¬† promised a Hot Conservative Men Whose Asses I Would Tap If It Weren’t So Gay list sometime in the near future. We don’t know who will be on this list but, before the comments were shut down, we got a sneak peek of the kind of conservative guys that give conservative women ladyboners.

You may now commence with the ‘stiff’ jokes…