It’s raining in Feenix – all the other Zonies are hanging out on the beach at La Jolla, waiting for a glimpse of the basset hounds. Nearly cold enough for me to switch from a/c to heat.

You can keep ur salty tears, Baby Chuy!

We had a good run, America, that is.
I guess we just ran out of flag pins.
Budget cuts, ya know.

Oh, don’t worry, Romney will outsource the 4th of July to a factory in China. If you’re one of America’s lucky-duckies and get a job as a pool boy or maid, you’ll be able to pick up your own 4th of July at Walmart at the bargain price of $6.88.

All those people in the middle of the country (and the deep south) are probably wishing you’d send that 63-degree air in their direction.

As for Hoft’s little tantrum – I was thinking that when Shrub and Cheney were misrunning the country.

Who makes Jim Hoft look sane?

The people who comment on his posts. Don’t wade into deep, people. Please, trust me.

At next year’s Summer Solstice Kwanza fetus harvest we’ll only have regular-sized watermelons that we’ll be forced to share with others, because the EPA will have outlawed personal sized watermelons.

And the fetus pudding will have broccoli sprinkles on top.

If you don’t beat your meat, you can’t have any fetus pudding!

How can you have any fetus pudding if you don’t beat your meat?

(NB: I have no idea what this means.)

Yes, and those ‘Real Americans with Common Sense Conservative Principles’ are currently shooting off fireworks and ignoring the burn bans and other various and sundry laws in their drought plagued 100 degree temp towns. But hey, freedumb.

Here in North Louisiana it’s 217 degrees.

Am gonna wash down my 4th-o-July hot dogs and fetus pudding with a fifth of Tito’s vodka.

Tomorrow, with a hangover I plan to call Bobby Jindal and ask for a tax break and an abortion. ‘Murka! Fuck yeh!’ ( cue the Lee Greenwood)

+1 ROFL (I miss those old ratings buttons.)

Mmmmmmmm..salty tears.

Ho-leee-shit. Stepped out to the back veranda and just watched two LDS cyclists pedal by. Why does Mitt’s cult hate America?

That’s exactly the situation dead D-batteries are for: throwing!

And we saw personal watermelon at the Safeway yesterday, for the very first time. Zup with that fuckery? What happened to the sharing American mealtimes I remember as a kid?

I’m going to call them Ayn Rand Watermelons.

Throwing D cells? You must be from Philly!

Woo Hoo! ‘merica’s birthday brings the best snarky snark snark outta everyone!

You know what else is celebrated on July 4th? Sarah Palin’s Quitta-Palooza! Yes, Alaska was freed on July 3, 2009!

And as a gentle reminder about safety: Hoveround-bound Teabaggers, do remember to turn your oxygen bottles full on when lighting the barbie!

Pfff…fetus pudding. Everyone knows that they can’t get real fetuses it’s all just month old babies that have been force fed to make them taste creamier…

And if Mitt wins, we’ll have Enforced Family Fun Day, featuring you and all your relatives competing in Olympic events, with tax cuts handed out to the winners to make sure everyone is properly “enthusiastic.” And the Patriarch must not come in last, or else.

So either way, the Fourth is pretty much a dead holiday.

NO FETUS FOR YOU!

HippyTrackTownUSA is edging towards 64 degrees with the daily 4:20 happy medicinal clouds building on the horizon.

Too late!

From Hoft’s completely and predictably batshit-crazy fan base in comments:

djb writes: Wife and I noticed today on our way forth and back to Church that there are only about 10% of the flags flying that we have seen in every previous year. I think many people have decided that we are in fact no longer truly free, (rightfully so), and are staging a “quiet” protest. I think that LAST year was the last free Independance Day

‘Cause Obama wasn’t president last year. Wait, what?

Wow, TBogg. You must be shivering and the dawgs wearing their little sweaters.

Here in western Kentucky, it’s been over a hundred for the last week, with no break in sight. It’s sure slowing down the process of setting up the FEMA camps *wink, wink*, but the hemp is growing faster this year.

Happy 4th all.

And we are certainly glad to hear it, since in these parlous times any bit of good news is appreciated. Between wingnut tears over Google’s betrayal with a red-white-and-blue kiss – er, communist – and the shrieks about Chief Justice Iscariot, I’m rolling in the deep schadenfreude this afternoon. 103 degree temperatures and all…how do they stand wearing those tinfoil hats in this heat? Maybe the temperature increase can’t do any further raising of the brain fever….

People go to church on the 4th? Really? Our Lady of The Holy Weber?

People go to church on the 4th? Really? Our Lady of The Holy Weber?

Beat me to it. Church? Where? Wednesday afternoon choir practice? Shoot off a bottle rocket for Chuy?

You Heathens (@22 and @23)!

We went every Wednesday evening to The First Baptist Church of Fort Collins, CO* when I was too small to say “fuck no I ain’t going”.

How the fuck are you going to get into heaven if you’re not at church on Wednesday night AND tossing coin in the collection plate? Huh? Huh?

* Another home of wife-swapping deacons and embezzling pastors and deacons’ kids who tried to burn down the associated Baptist school…

* Another home of wife-swapping deacons and embezzling pastors and deacons’ kids who tried to burn down the associated Baptist school…

At least you went to one of the FUN churches–with free wine and crackers. Ours had an effin’ foreign language requirement!

Patricia over at tammybruce.com is celebrating toast today.

My Independence Day: Remembering Andrew Breitbart

The 4th of July is a time when Americans celebrate patriots past and present. We celebrate those from our founding who pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honor to build a nation under God where liberty and freedom would be celebrated. We celebrate present patriots who gave the ultimate sacrifice for this country and its freedom. I plan to spend this Independence Day celebrating one of the bravest and most courageous patriots I have ever known.

It is an all-consuming, never ceasing, driving force that keeps some of us awake at night, that stops us from being able to “switch off”, to leave our computers, or to have a normal life. Andrew put it this way in his book “Righteous Indignation”: “I volunteered to fight in this war. I have risen through the ranks and now find myself on the front lines… It is no longer a choice to fight; I am compelled to fight.”

Thank you, Andrew, for giving a place for those who are compelled to fight.

Cheers, patriot. You are missed.

Man, it’s over a hundred here with heavy humidity, I’d give a lot for 63F weather right now. :/

Yeah, I’m pretty sure a group of MiB snuck into my house and wired my TV up to start receiving my mandatory broadcasts from the Ministry of Truth and monitor me for thoughtcrimes over the holiday. I mean, I’m hearing voices in my fillings now and everything.

I used to get a ride in Bill Nunnally’s VW to go to Training Union on Wednesday nights at Northside Baptist when Brother Spencer (who later performed my sister’s wedding) was still pastor, back when the 7-11 on Taft Hill Road opened at 7 and closed at 11. Hilarious times, at the time.

It is an all-consuming, never ceasing, driving force that keeps some of us awake at night, that stops us from being able to “switch off”, to leave our computers, or to have a normal life.

This is pathetic. Although I guess it answers the question: Don’t these people have lives?

Andy ain’t fightin’ a goddam thang!

I’m writing from Commie-land (the French Alps) and watching CNN International’s story on the poor, poor, American cities that have had to cut their 4th of July Fireworks show because of – darnit! – municipal budget cuts. Now the poor children will have to watch it on TV – unless, that is, all fireworks celebrations throughout the US are snuffed out by the Kenyan Usurper, who forced Red Bank, NJ to cut its deficit without raising taxes. The butthurt is high.

It is an all-consuming, never ceasing, driving force that keeps some of us awake at night, that stops us from being able to “switch off”, to leave our computers, or to have a normal life. Andrew put it this way in his book

Needs moar Ritalin.

Patricia writes (h/t dsduryea): Thank you, Andrew, for giving a place for those who are compelled to fight. Cheers, patriot. You are missed.

I gotta wonder, since the erstwhile apatriotic Andrew has never been more popular than now, what with his being dead and all, what he could do for an encore. The dead are never more beautiful than when they are dead.

No use asking me, Tom, but another way to interpret the lack of flags is to simply assume that people have realized, upon the death of the madcap Breitbart, that it is no longer required to fly the damn thing, and they can just go back to being quietly patriotic.

And by the way, Patricia renders Andrew unto Martyrdom, despite the fact that his death was the result of his own sloth and nothing else.

O St Andy, let thine consumption flow upon us and guide our lives.

There will also be an airing of grievances followed by pudding.

Fetus pudding.

It tastes like the salty tears of the Baby Jesus.

If that humor was any drier, you’d fart dust. Well played, sir, well played. (Golf clap)

And by the way, Patricia renders Andrew unto Martyrdom, despite the fact that his death was the result of his own sloth and nothing else.

Well, there was that perpetual rage thing…..

Hey, I heard the San Diego fireworks display had a glitch that caused them ALL to go off AT ONCE. Musta been a sight to see.

This was the first time I could see actual fireworks over the ridge line of the mesa from my back patio, while grilling dinner. Kinda nice not to have to battle traffic, even if it did last less than 5 minutes.

“…Andrew has never been more popular than now, what with his being dead and all, what he could do for an encore. The dead are never more beautiful than when they are dead.”

He’s like…the Kurt Cobain of “teatard” political spew!

Ain’t it the truth.

It wasn’t all that bad that Andrew died when he did. The man was, shall we say, not aging gracefully, and was well on his way to ultimately doing or saying something so profoundly stupid and offensive that no one, but no one, would have come to his defense.

Picture of a real man in control. None of that elite sissy windsurfing for Willard.

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2012/07/06/1226415/443234-mitt-romney.jpg

Since the picture shows Ann at the controls of the jet ski, what do you know about her naughty bits?